Was it my fault?

For almost the passed 10 years, my family was constantly fighting. We are a family of four so when two parties fought it was likely that the whole family would end up being a part of it. I'm the eldest child, I have a sister and my mum and dad living in the same house, the constant fight would be over the littlest of things (my parents have nearly gotten a divorce over arguing what herbs were put in a dish at a restaurant, yes herbs). It was always clear that we could never properly communicate what we really wanted to say without the other(s) raging, and this was true for every single member of my family, I am guilty too. It was during this time I was also very unhappy, I was bullied in school by not just students but by teachers too. I went to a school were if you did not conform to their way of teaching, despite ending with the same result, you were given a fail. I was miserable and would shut myself out, retaliate to the smallest of issues and act out.....probably my way of bringing attention to my contempt for life there. I absolutely hated my life and questioned if anything was really worth sticking around for.

I managed. Since then, I have moved to a different country to study and I've never been happier. The relief of no longer being tormented in that school was lifted. What also changed, was my family. I am able to now communicate and actually discuss topics with my family without being shutdown. Seemingly, this also goes for everyone else, my sister would tell me that there are rarely any fights happening, although you get the occasional bickering, but that is normal for every family. So I have been wondering lately, if all the fighting happened because of me? Now I know not all fights stemmed because of me, certainly not the herbs one, but was how I was behaving and my general situation of life in my previous country the reason for the rest of my family to also behave unreasonably towards each other and me being away the reason for everyone to suddenly get along?

Excellent. No it's not about you. Family dysfunction is like the tires on a car all being imbalanced. It's a rough ride and everyone is part of it wittingly or not. People assigning black sheep is common but it's not the case.

Never look back. People grow evolve, gain experience with other things, etc. Your more mature perspective has changed.

I have moved to a different country to study and I've never been happier.I have been wondering lately, if all the fighting happened because of me?

Lol just keep reminding yourself that the "Herbs" argument had nothing to do with you, so of course none of this is your fault!

no, you were absolutely not at fault! a child is never at fault for family discord, ever, period.

do families sometimes have a hard time managing their children, plus the stress of work, finance, their own parents/inlaws, marriage problems and end up having a bad effect on the child and the relationship with the child, and the child acting out at school- sure. it's their ability to cope without compromising family bonds and the feelings and behaviors of individual members that has oscillated through the years. it happens a lot.

they probably realized they need to do something about the family dynamics they create, it certainly hasn't passed them by that it was high time to start paying attention to that if they were ready to call their divorce attorneys over a "provance!!" "no, it's tuscan you idiot, i swear i can't stand you anymore!" seasoning spat.

plus there may have been changes in health, work, finance, and maybe they sought professional help too.

hey, it's all well that ends well! and distance can help strengthen family bonds ironically. lots of professionals recommend the "long leash" approach with difficult families.