She broke up with me, and I tried to kill myself.

My girlfriend of 3 years who I was planning on proposing to told me she was through and didn't want anything to do with me after an argument and I hung up on her. She ignored every call and message till I took pills and told her what I did. She called the cops and I ended up in therapy and suicide prevention for an entire week. I left the place feeling like a new man but I still love her very much and took her calling the cops right away as a sign of caring. I've messaged her but she said we could never ever be together again because I crossed that line and that should would never forgive me. I managed to convince her to let me message her from time to time because it helps me and that I believe one day we can find a way to be back together. I plan to let time go by and very rarely tell her what I've been up to. I guess I just need a little advice since I've managed to make it this far if what I planned is good enough or not.

You emotionally abused her by threatening suicide. That shows her that you are unstable and manipulative. She's probably scared to get near you.

You should never ever use suicide to manipulate someone into getting back with you. She called the cops because it's the right thing to do! If if it's a person I don't know, if they have told me they took pills to kill themselves, I would have called the cops as well.

You need to focus your attention on bettering yourself and get over this relationship. I know it's not something you want to do at the moment but it's something you HAVE to do. I suggest going no contact as in contact with her is not going to help you.

You have a lot of self reflection work to do.

She did the right thing. It wasn't a sign of caring it was a way to avert your manipulation. She may get a restraining order against you if you keep messaging her and doing this type of thing.

You need to get help and continue with whatever help they recommend you follow through with. Go no contact and heal yourself.

She called the cops and I ended up in therapy and suicide prevention for an entire week. I left the place feeling like a new man but I still love her very much and took her calling the cops right away as a sign of caring. I've messaged her but she said we could never ever be together again because I crossed that line and that should would never forgive me.

This sounds like some manipulative and toxic behavior to me and you can't blame her for not wanting to be with you right now. You need to stop contacting her and focus on your mental health. Please go to therapy your reaction was not okay and there is something deeper going on with you that you need cater to as soon as possible

Well, no one goes from a suicide attempt to a new man from a week therapy. I don't believe that. She should run like mad. Despite the harm to yourself there is the severe emotional abuse to her.

Are you seeing a therapist? I hope so because you have a lot of stuff to work thru and need professional guidance.

You emotionally abused her by threatening suicide. That shows her that you are unstable and manipulative. She's probably scared to get near you.

Your right which is why I said I wouldn't go near her unless she felt I was safe to be around.

You should never ever use suicide to manipulate someone into getting back with you. She called the cops because it's the right thing to do! If if it's a person I don't know, if they have told me they took pills to kill themselves, I would have called the cops as well.

 

You need to focus your attention on bettering yourself and get over this relationship. I know it's not something you want to do at the moment but it's something you HAVE to do. I suggest going no contact as in contact with her is not going to help you.

 

You have a lot of self reflection work to do.

I agree, I had never acted like this before and will be working on myself to better myself. I don't plan to get back into the relationship anytime soon, I left the messaging choice open between us so that after time has passed and I've done a lot of healing and reflecting that the possibility might still be there.

I will be getting a lot of help, I never want to see myself in that position ever again.

You emotionally abused her by threatening suicide. That shows her that you are unstable and manipulative. She's probably scared to get near you.

Listen to this, mustlovedogs is right on the money. My abusive ex did this to me... he told me he had taken pills and called me saying he was dying and all kind of emotional manipulative arsenal. Lets just not say that it got me scared and of course reenforced the reasons why I needed to get out of that toxicity.

I think in your case you actually did things to harm yourself. You need to continue therapy for real and totally cut contact from her. You're very emotional unstable at the moment and going through something very serious that requires professional help to cope with this break up and move on.

It will pass though.

Well, no one goes from a suicide attempt to a new man from a week therapy. I don't believe that. She should run like mad. Despite the harm to yourself there is the severe emotional abuse to her.

I knew I was wrong when I got admitted. I never had past behaviors like this and have been making a strong attempt to better myself. I don't blame her for running nor do I blame her for calling the cops, I know that everything that happened was my fault and I went about it in the worst way possible. By better man I don't mean fully recovered, but someone who wants very strongly to make a full recovery, to put this behind him and move on. I still love her but that's also why I'm willing to wait till I'm better and give her as much time and space as she needs to feel that I no longer pose a threat in such a way.

I knew I was wrong when I got admitted. I never had past behaviors like this and have been making a strong attempt to better myself. I don't blame her for running nor do I blame her for calling the cops, I know that everything that happened was my fault and I went about it in the worst way possible. By better man I don't mean fully recovered, but someone who wants very strongly to make a full recovery, to put this behind him and move on. I still love her but that's also why I'm willing to wait till I'm better and give her as much time and space as she needs to feel that I no longer pose a threat in such a way.

I understand the urge to be better. I was suicidal for over 30 years. I have almost 5 years of therapy from 15 to 49. So Rome isn't built in a day. I understand that you are committed to ongoing therapy but she should not come back to you because you were there for a week . See? What you did was terribly abusive . And when you can see that and fully make amends for that and never do it again that when she should even consider talking again if she ever does. Have no expectations here .

I'd take this as a blessing. You got a second chance. Some folks aren't always that lucky.

That being said. I'd focus on you. Forget this girl and being to heal and move forward. Get into counseling, support groups, friends, hobbies etc.

You can cherish the memories, but at this point I'd leave her be. It was a hard lesson but at least you survived.

I strongly recommend you seek professional counseling/therapy. In the meantime, leave her be and focus on getting yourself sorted out with therapy. And continue with therapy for as long as it takes.

Forget about her altogether dude. She's not ever coming back especially after all that. I messed up severely with handling the break up with my ex and there was no suicide attempt/threat involved. I know where you're at. You desperately want things to be different but they're not and they won't ever be what you want. Get help. I am doing the same thing. Its a hard pill to swallow but it's over. Live and learn and move on.

I agree, I had never acted like this before and will be working on myself to better myself. I don't plan to get back into the relationship anytime soon, I left the messaging choice open between us so that after time has passed and I've done a lot of healing and reflecting that the possibility might still be there.

Don't focus on the possibilities of getting back right now. Work on yourself, talk to your therapist and do the homework. You need a lot of self help at this moment.

I'd move past the idea of trying to deal with her in the future. There's no way to prove to someone that if she ever wants to leave again you won't try to off yourself or take her down, too. So who in their right mind would return to a trap like that?