broken

I met this guy last year...When I met him he just came out of a five year relationship he was a mess ..We became friends and I helped him through it we began dating shortly after , I fell in love, after a while he began treating me so badly , ignoring my messages ..Not answering my calls I was confused as to what was going on, he didn't speak to me for two weeks I was a mess, till he eventually came out and admitted he has a 2 month old baby and is moving in with the mother of his child, and this girl is not the ex I helped him get over ..So where did she come from ...I was confused, devastated , heartbroken, was I just a rebound, he used me to get over his ex then dropped me like I never meant anything...He wasnt even sorry...I cannot eat ..I cannot sleep ... I just curl up and cry all day ...I have lost my strength...Getting up to take a bath is such a task ..I feel numb ..I feel lost ...Like I have no reason to live...The father of my child left me when I was pregnant four years ago..I have never loved another man since then...I decided to give it another try and this is what I get ....I jus don't know what to do..

I am so sorry he has done this to you. It's often the ones we treat so good who decide to walk all over us!

You are a good person, you have a good heart, you had the right intentions. His ex prbably left him when she found out that he got someone else pregnant (reason I left my ex but a little more complex!)

You dodged a bullet, he's a waste by the sounds of it and you can do so much better!

Post on here when you want to vent!

This too shall pass.

How long were you dating? Unfortunately it does sound like you were a rebound. Was he busy making babies elsewhere while you were dating?

Go no contact and block and delete him so you can heal and move forward. Next time do not over-invest or get over-attached and run if you see red flags like not over and ex etc.

When I met him he just came out of a five year relationship he was a mess .. I helped him through it we began dating shortly after. he eventually came out and admitted he has a 2 month old baby and is moving in with the mother of his child and this girl is not the ex I helped him get over ....The father of my child left me when I was pregnant four years ago.

I'm sorry that has happened to you. I'm going through something very similar. I started dating my ex after she was only 5 weeks removed from a serious, long term relationship. She assured me she was not rebounding and completely over her ex. We moved really fast and we're practically living together after a short time. We had a ton of chemistry and talked about serious things (marriage, kids, etc) I was happier than I'd ever been and thought I had found the one. Then one day out of nowhere she just ended it. Never gave me a reason. I ended up finding out later through her best friend that she never wanted anything serious and was stringing me along the whole time because she "didn't want to give up a good guy." So basically I was the rebound and once she didn't need me anymore she didn't hesitate to discard me. I'm still devastated 3 months later and she is happy as can be. All the signs were there too. I was just too blinded by my infatuation with her to see them. It sucks but you have to realize there is something wrong with them not you.

He told me his ex left him because another man came along and treated her better but at this point I don't know what to believe ....Maybe that is exactly the reason she left ..I feel like everything he ever said was a lie

Unfortunately it probably was. You dodged a bullet.

..I feel like everything he ever said was a lie

We dated for 7 months ...He told me that he didn't know this girl had a baby ...He told me that he slept around on his ex with this girl and she just appeared months later with this child .. they took a paternity test and it turns that the baby is his so he decided to go with her ....But he is not a very good liar because I don't believe​ that story at all ....I tried NC for a week then I caught myself unblocking him and viewing his Facebook page...i restored his number on my phone and post stuff on my what's app so he could see what I'm going through...I know this is not helping and he doesn't really care...He has moved on and I'm miserable...But I just don't know how to deal with it

The unfortunate thing is he doesn't care. Your misery is only boosting his ego. I too made the mistake of breaking NC multiple times and it set me back each time and made me feel like crap. I know it's hard. But you have to just stay the course and stay away from him. It's very hard to deal with it. But know you're not alone. Joining this forum has helped me in realizing lots of people me and you included are going through similar things. I can't stress enough you have to get him out of your life in every way. I spent months going NC and then breaking it and it only made it worse. I'm two months in since my last contact and am finally starting to see why going NC works. You got to stick with it though.

Thank you so much you have no idea how much your adviced helped ......But don't you ever wonder how they are doing? Aren't u curious to know what their life is like now without you

Im going to say he does care, but there is nothing he can do about it. I am almost positive he liked being with you, but he had a child with someone else so you were the odd one out. He probably told you those things so you would leave him alone. This guy is not happy, he is no better position than he was after he got out of his relationship. So in a way you didnt help him thru it because he got another girl pregnant. However if you did do anything, you did make him smile.

Now, in all fairness, you picked the wrong guy and situation to get back into dating. You picked a guy who just got out of a relationship and he was not emotionally available to you. You probably figured if you helped him along that a love connection would build up. And Im going to say there were A LOT of signs that you missed. This guy was going thru a break up and seeing two or more woman at once, possibly a pregnancy scare and you mean to tell me there was ZERO indication of this? He is either a master actor or you were blind to see the signs. Dont let this be your example of the men that are out there. Next time, dont be an emotional crutch to someone you just met.

In the end, this is the best thing to happen to you. He made a mistake and now he is going to have a lifetime to think about the one that got away. Meanwhile, once you heal, you will go out there and find true happiness.

It was both ...Trust me that man could act....But it was also my fault ..I saw the signs I saw many signs when I just met him and also along the way that this guy is bad news ...But let me tell you..we women have a habit of letting our emotions cloud our better judgement....I saw the signs I was jus too in love to acknowledge them .....There is smth he could've done ...A simple explanation and apology would've made me feel a whole lot better ...It would've still hurt and it would not change the situation but it would've helped ...But he acted like what he did was nth and had no remorse

It was both ...Trust me that man could act....But it was also my fault ..I saw the signs I saw many signs when I just met him and also along the way that this guy is bad news ...But let me tell you..we women have a habit of letting our emotions cloud our better judgement....I saw the signs I was jus too in love to acknowledge them .....There is smth he could've done ...A simple explanation and apology would've made me feel a whole lot better ...It would've still hurt and it would not change the situation but it would've helped ...But he acted like what he did was nth and had no remorse

You are not the only one Hun. I stayed with a liar for seven years. Gut feeling always said he's a liar, his own friend and family members told me he's a liar. He would swear on his mum, his sisters, on God and the holy book that he's telling the truth. Every now n again he would go out of his way to prove things to me. But ultimately he kept the biggest things from me!

I'm a bright woman, don't know why I let him get away with it but I did! Because I loved him, still do love the man I THOUGHT he was! I wanted to prove the world wrong but he was playing it all sides.

The explanations and apologies don't help. My ex stil said he wants to marry me after I found out all the lies but the past can't be undone.

You don't need the baggage and stress you will do better. Leave him and his twisted web of mess!!!

Kamalidaniel23 unfortunately I don't have to wonder about how she's doing without me. I know she's doing great. We have some of the same friends and they've told me how well she's doing and when I was still fb stalking her I could see by her posts she was happy. And that really hurts. I'm heartbroken and she's out loving life. But she's the one that decided to leave me so I guess it makes sense.

@jy1986usa wow I know exactly how you feel...But it's gonna be okay ...I don't understand how someone can do that to another person though...Use you when they knew all along it was nothing serious...That's messed up in so many ways ....I think we both made bad decisions by getting involved with people who are fresh out of relationships but that's life..We live..We learn we let go....

From your description and timeline of the events, it sounds like he very poor impulse control, so it doesn't sound like being in a rebound relationship was a calculated action. Not that the impact is any less.

Just poor judgement on many levels. Be glad it was only 7 mos. This other one is stuck dealing with him because of the kid.

We dated for 7 months ...He told me that he didn't know this girl had a baby ...He told me that he slept around on his ex with this girl and she just appeared months later with this child

I feel so lonely at times and like nth is helping....I was thinking maybe getting into a rebound relationship with someone or just have someone as a Friend to help me through it..but I would not do it without letting them know what they are getting into first ... Maybe like a no strings attached kinda thing ...But then again that doesn't make me any better than this guy ... do u think that's a good idea? Or should I not go down that road

Anything to make the pain go away

What does "nth" mean?

Why go from bad to worse?

I feel so lonely at times and like nth is helping....I was thinking maybe getting into a rebound relationship with someone or just have someone as a Friend to help me through it..but I would not do it without letting them know what they are getting into first ... Maybe like a no strings attached kinda thing

@Heartgoeson "nth" is just an abbreviation for nothing

@Heartgoeson "nth" is just an abbreviation for nothing

Netspeak is not allowed on the forum. You have to spell your words where it's readable.

I'm sorry that has happened to you. I'm going through something very similar. I started dating my ex after she was only 5 weeks removed from a serious, long term relationship. She assured me she was not rebounding and completely over her ex. We moved really fast and we're practically living together after a short time. We had a ton of chemistry and talked about serious things (marriage, kids, etc) I was happier than I'd ever been and thought I had found the one. Then one day out of nowhere she just ended it. Never gave me a reason. I ended up finding out later through her best friend that she never wanted anything serious and was stringing me along the whole time because she "didn't want to give up a good guy." So basically I was the rebound and once she didn't need me anymore she didn't hesitate to discard me. I'm still devastated 3 months later and she is happy as can be. All the signs were there too. I was just too blinded by my infatuation with her to see them. It sucks but you have to realize there is something wrong with them not you.

Jy1986usa, I am in almost the exact situation except he got back with his ex. I hate that it actually hurts and I ignored so many warning signs. No one has ever done this to me and I can not sleep without meds (it's been 3 days) and can't stop thinking "how could you?". I feel so lonely I've never felt like this before. I don't know what to do 😥

Jy1986usa, I am in almost the exact situation except he got back with his ex. I hate that it actually hurts and I ignored so many warning signs. No one has ever done this to me and I can not sleep without meds (it's been 3 days) and can't stop thinking "how could you?". I feel so lonely I've never felt like this before. I don't know what to do 😥

Princess and JY... I think counseling would be good for the two of you. But also forgiveness. Forgive yourself for making mistakes. We all do it and we are not perfect. You two were fooled and conned and that's okay to say. I have played the game and been burned and it hurt, but I had to say that she won, I lost and I learned to see the signs and not make the same mistakes again. I know loss sucks and heartbreak is painful. But look at the guy doing it to you. These guys are not worth your tears. They were too smart to know what they had, eventually someone else will see how wonderful you two are.