Found out I'm pregnant and now he's harassing me

Have been seeing this guy very very briefly. Only been dating a little over a month. We had sex the first time and the condom broke. I took plan b as directed and that failed too. I just found out yesterday I'm pregnant. Me and him pretty much do not know each other that well at all. When I first told him the news he flipped out on me when I told him idk what I want to do. He shot down my character and called me every name in the book. He belittled me. He even said if you keep it you can go be a single mother. He then called again saying he's sorry for reacting like that but he was mad. He went from saying he will support any decision I make then to saying he feels like commiting suicide. Today he's been blowing up my phone and sent a text saying he has to give his mom a kidney so he has to take a stress test and will fail if I don't get an abortion. His mom is also telling him basically he needs to get it through my head to go and get an abortion cause this "situation" is jeopardizing her life. These ppl are giving me hell. On top of all this he has a son already and saying he doesn't want to have a child with someone he doesn't have a bond. I know crazy story but this is real life. all advice is welcome.

Do you want a child with a creep like him? Imagine what a nightmare that would be. He doesn't want a bond or a child with you.

I just found out yesterday I'm pregnant. Today he's been blowing up my phone and sent a text saying he has to give his mom a kidney so he has to take a stress test and will fail if I don't get an abortion.On top of all this he has a son already and saying he doesn't want to have a child with someone he doesn't have a bond.

Do you want a child with a creep like him? Imagine what a nightmare that would be. He doesn't want a bond or a child with you.

Abortion sounds so wrong but at the same time him and his mom are evil and selfish. They are basically mentally abusing me into getting an abortion. I'd probably go thru hell the whole 9 months

More like the next 18 years and then some.

I'd probably go thru hell the whole 9 months

You should not have been so quick to have sex with some guy you dont know. Do you really want 18 yrs to life of having this bozo in your life? That's what'll happen if you have this child. He'll either disappear completely or make your life hell.

What do YOU want to do? Are you prepared to have this child? Are you prepared to be a single mother? How old are you? I see two realistic choices, adoption or abortion.

More like the next 18 years and then some.

I guess I have a different viewpoint on this. Having a child is not just a "responsibility", not for 18 years nor for 50 years. It's your child, simple as that.

OP it's your choice but don't be frivolous on your decision. If you decide for abortion do it as fast as you can, if not be prepared to change your lifestyle. Do you have family to support you at least?

Me and him pretty much do not know each other that well at all.

^

That's the sad part of bringing an innocent baby into the world. Either way, whatever decision you make, keep in mind that you're basically strangers, and the welfare of this child is what matters the most.

Plan b failed after a broken condom? Sounds like fate wants this child to exist... that is if there is such a thing. The choice is yours, if you do have the baby prepare to be a single mother, many women do it but it isn't ideal if you are a weakling. Are you strong enough to do this? You need to write this man off immediately, save any messages he sends that are abusive for future use in court. If in the future your child is old enough and wants to meet his or her dead beat father that will be up to them. Does the world need anymore of his gene pool? I have my doubts.

I am so very sorry they are harassing you . I would tell him you are keeping the texts for police discretion if he keeps it up. Then change your number.

OP, do not let him pressure you into making a decision you might regret later. He was comfortable enough with you to have sex. You took precautions, but this was a possible outcome.

Forget about him and his mother for a while and think about yourself and the baby. Would you consider raising a child alone or with limited support from him? Do you have another support network? Perhaps adoption is an another option to look into before making a decision. Do not rush into a such a weighty decision just because he would like to walk away. An abortion will not erase the pregnancy for you; whatever decision you make will have a lasting impact on you. Make a thoughtful choice.

I guess I have a different viewpoint on this. Having a child is not just a "responsibility", not for 18 years nor for 50 years. It's your child, simple as that.

 

OP it's your choice but don't be frivolous on your decision. If you decide for abortion do it as fast as you can, if not be prepared to change your lifestyle. Do you have family to support you at least?

Yes my family are willling to support whatever decision I make. But they see the drama surrounding this situation and they pretty much think it's best I go the abortion route. This is a very stressful and confusing situation.

Yes my family are willling to support whatever decision I make. But they see the drama surrounding this situation and they pretty much think it's best I go the abortion route. This is a very stressful and confusing situation.

What do YOU want to do? Do you want this baby?

What do YOU want to do? Do you want this baby?

I have not decided what to do

I have not decided what to do

I would suggest changing your number so they stop harassing you.

Yes my family are willling to support whatever decision I make. But they see the drama surrounding this situation and they pretty much think it's best I go the abortion route. This is a very stressful and confusing situation.

I'm glad that you have the support of your family. Remember that the current shock and drama surrounding an unplanned pregnancy announcement will subside. What will remain will either be the child, the gift of the child to a wanting couple, or the decision to have had an abortion. The father can give up his parental rights if that is a decision you ultimately both arrive at. There are many options and it is good to have as much support as possible.

My deepest sympathies. I've been where you are although the father of my youngest son was killed early on and completely out of the picture before I even knew I was pregnant. But his family? Oh my god, they came after me with big legal threats and had the money and resources to do it while I was a single mom with two little boys at the time.

So it's really simple. First off, the way this guy is acting you do not want him in you or the baby's life. Period. End of story. Not unless you want to end up with someone abusive, because he is not acting or behaving at all rationally and he and his family are frankly telling huge lies to try and get you to abort the child. I know this, because I know people who donated/received kidney transplants. There is no "stress" test and I'm really, really skeptical that this guy's mom suddenly needs a kidney and gosh she gets to jump ahead of everyone else on the donor list in her area to get one from her son. Kidneys aren't "undonatable" just because someone is under stress. If that were the case no one's kidney would be fit for donation.

Anyways, just want to point out you can simply terminate the father's and family's rights altogether. You can and should consult an attorney to find out how that is done. Cut these people out of your life altogether, because no good for you or your child will come from engaging with people who behave so irrationally that they're flipping out and making up stories and harassing you trying to get you to do something, that frankly in the end is your decision.

So see an attorney, find out how to get them removed from the equation altogether, then make your choice based on your own resources and desires. Good luck however you decide it, but for now I agree changing your phone number might be a really good idea to get them off your back long enough to make your choices based on what you want.

My deepest sympathies. I've been where you are although the father of my youngest son was killed early on and completely out of the picture before I even knew I was pregnant. But his family? Oh my god, they came after me with big legal threats and had the money and resources to do it while I was a single mom with two little boys at the time. So it's really simple..

Your advice has helped out more than you know. This is one of the most difficult depressing times of my life. I really appreciate and needed your feedback. In my heart I don't want an abortion. These ppl are trying to make me feel guilty and it really sucks.