Colleague is undermining

Hi guys - I have an issue with a colleague, Kassandra, who is more junior (though my age) - she is subtly undermining me.

She is an admin person and some of the work I do involves her (so it's her responsibility) but she will either ignore, delay or create difficulties on the things I ask her to do.

Kassandra has only been in the company for a couple of months, and I feel that this behaviour is influenced by her boss, Melissa, whom I've had some disagreements with, and I am aware that Melissa is actively trying to undermine me. I know that Melissa is the real problem, but I don't have any dealings with her, so I feel she is trying to influence Kassandra to be difficult on purpose and make me look bad.

I believe I am generally supportive and nice and have extended this courtesy to Kassandra as well, but I'm really struggling with her response and feel like she's taking advantage of my goodwill. Sometimes the CEO will ask me to coordinate things that are her responsibility, and if she doesn't do them, then how can my CEO trust me to make things happen when he asks me?

She is subtle in her behaviour which makes it difficult to confront it, as she could say "I misunderstood" or "I'm imagining it".

I don't want to "pull rank" with her, but how do I make her stop taking my goodwill for granted and get her to do the things she's supposed to to?

Does any of this look familiar?:

"7 Things Passive-Aggressive Employees Do

Passive-aggressive behavior isn’t always meant to be malicious. Sometimes, people become passive-aggressive because it’s convenient. At other times, they develop indirect communication methods because they think it's unacceptable to express anger.

Unfortunately, for some people, passive-aggressive behavior becomes a way of life.

1. They Manipulate Others into Doing Their Work

2. They are Inefficient on Purpose

3. They Avoid Confrontation at All Costs

4. They Exhibit Learned Helplessness

5. They Seek Revenge

6. They Backstab One Another

7. They Say Yes Even When They Mean No

Passive-aggressive employees can create a toxic environment, so it’s important to address indirect communication head-on. Confront a passive-aggressive person with the facts. Identify the behavior you’ve observed and discuss why it is problematic.

Role model open and honest communication. Show that you’re willing to listen to feedback and be careful to avoid punishing people who disagree with you openly. Doing so will only encourage more employees to take the passive-aggressive route.

Make your expectations for your employees clear and stay consistent. Periodically evaluate the culture of your organization and take steps to ensure that one or two passive-aggressive employees aren’t having a negative effect on your entire organization."

Are you in a managerial to her or otherwise in a senior role over her or are you both roughly in the same position?

Thanks for the replies. Wiseman, thanks for stopping by - I always enjoy reading your answers.

@DancingFool - I am in a much more senior position - in fact I am supposed to become her manager, however this is not yet known to her or her current manager and not sure I even want it given the dynamics/tensions...

Oh I have a book somewhere that addressss things like this but I can't think of the title and I'm out of state! Do a google search on delegating to difficult coworkers or something similar. There are some very helpful books about these issues.

Don't let her jeopardize your job or work reputation though. Can you do all your delegating by email so she can't make excuses? Can you tell her which projects need done by XYZ and add, "per CEO" - which is truthful. She hasn't been there very long and she already has this attitude, usually it takes more time to manifest.

Hey Jenny, thanks a lot for your reply. I'll look up your suggestion, let me know if the title comes back to you!

I do let her know it's the CEO, though sometimes she will still ignore it or not get it done, as he didn't ask her directly (and I can't really cc my CEO on every email I send to her). She should do it even if it comes from me, and without having to "threaten" her with the CEO if you know what I mean, so I'm more looking for ways in which I could get her buy-in (positive reinforcement)

Or maybe that's a crazy goal to start with?

Start over-riding her and show her your not playing around and to do as she is told.

I am supposed to become her manager, however this is not yet known to her or her current manager

So, basically. you're not her manager? How are you being expected to delegate tasks to her if neither she nor her actual manager know you're being tasked with a managerial role over her? Seniority doesn't imply responsibility over someone and, really, were I in your co-workers shoes, I wouldn't be prioritizing the tasks someone with no authority over me is delegating to me.

Your CEO needs to be providing you the appropriate tools and stature to coordinate another employee, if that is indeed her expectation of you. As it stands, there's not much you can do other than ask her to do things or tell her the CEO has said to. Without any actual authority, it'd be unfair for it to be expected that your leadership be recognized.

All you really can or even should be doing is relaying messages asked of you, preferably through email or some kind of logged correspondence. If she doesn't do it, she doesn't do it. I'd also ask yourself if your CEO is simply having you relay the message or to actually coordinate this employee. I have a nagging suspicion you may be reading too much into your seniority.

Is there no one else that you can utilize?

............ what

 

So, basically. you're not her manager? How are you being expected to delegate tasks to her if neither she nor her actual manager know you're being tasked with a managerial role over her? Seniority doesn't imply responsibility over someone and, really, were I in your co-workers shoes, I wouldn't be prioritizing the tasks someone with no authority over me is delegating to me.

 

Your CEO needs to be providing you the appropriate tools and stature to coordinate another employee, if that is indeed her expectation of you. As it stands, there's not much you can do other than ask her to do things or tell her the CEO has said to. Without any actual authority, it'd be unfair for it to be expected that your leadership be recognized.

 

All you really can or even should be doing is relaying messages asked of you, preferably through email or some kind of logged correspondence. If she doesn't do it, she doesn't do it. I'd also ask yourself if your CEO is simply having you relay the message or to actually coordinate this employee. I have a nagging suspicion you may be reading too much into your seniority.

Hey j.man, thanks for this. I like your very direct replies, even though I would instinctually take them personally, I am aware you're trying to help and they are a nice breath of fresh air.

Kassandra is our admin person, and she is the only one fulfilling these tasks as we're a small business. The things I am asking her to do are part of her job description, so it's not a matter of imposing my leadership, but things she is aware she has to do, but she will undermine them/me. So my question is how do I empower her to do them, despite the fact I am not her boss, yet these things are her direct responsibility.

Ok I believe the book is "Fierce conversations"

And you're right, you can't throw the CEOs name out there every time. You are in a difficult situation. yiu don't need to be her cheerleader, only cordial. She has a job, she needs to do it. I have low tolerance for these types.

And you're right, you can't throw the CEOs name out there every time.

You can, if you present a mild version of 'the problem' with this person completing her work to CEO, and get buy in to cc CEO on anything CEO has requested you assign to her.

While that may not sound ideal, you're dealing with a situation that's even further from ideal: putting yourself out on a limb while keeping the resistance you're getting a secret.

I'd skip that. It's a small office. Either CEO is in your corner, or not. I'd want to know that early.

Kassandra is our admin person, and she is the only one fulfilling these tasks as we're a small business. The things I am asking her to do are part of her job description,

You are asking her to do her job, right? And she's not doing it? Is she in over her head?