Wanting a family

Im flat broke but i really want to start a family. I also still live with my parents while all my friends already live with their significant others. I think id make a wonderful stay at home mom. My needs are pretty basic. Everyone around me seems to be starting families with ease and i feel left behind. I wish i could get financial help from someone. Im 30, petite and young looking but already tired from my years of prior working minimum wage jobs.

Are you currently in a relationship? Or just trying to plan your future?

Im currently dating a guy a lot younger than me. He doesnt even have a vehicle but he does work. Yeah i guess im just trying to plan my future.

What about doing volunteer work with children / families until you feel like you are more financially stable to start your own? I realize that it's not the same thing, of course, but it might give you ideas and suggestions as to how to best set yourself on your path for raising your family when the time comes?

Im flat broke but i really want to start a family. I think id make a wonderful stay at home mom..

How do you propose to raise this child with no money? Children are VERY expensive! Try going to a store one day with a list of all the things you need for a baby ... and believe me, the list will be endless. In no time you will run into thousands of dollars, and this is only the beginning. You have feed and clothe them too, and send them to school and educate them for the next 18 years. You can't just sit at home, with no money and raise the child. It doesn't work that way. It's not a doll to play with, with no needs.

Do you have a good job? A partner? A steady relationship?

This is such a bad idea, even contemplating having a child because your friends do. It takes upwards of 1/2 million bucks to raise a child to age 18! Where are you gong to get that kind of money when you have none at the moment? Got a secret on how to win the lottery? Kids are not like goldfish, you have to feed them, clothe them, take them to the doctor when sick, nurture them, do the right things by them. I've got two grown kids and the expenses never really stop, but until they are on their own they are a big financial hit to your bank account. Work on getting yourself and your life together first.

I think a human babies NEEDS are pretty simple. People MAKE having a child expensive by buying stuff they dont need. Im all for thrift store shopping and self taught education. Being a mother is a job and I believe the man should spend their money supporting their familes.

I think a human babies NEEDS are pretty simple. People MAKE having a child expensive by buying stuff they dont need. Im all for thrift store shopping and self taught education. Being a mother is a job and I believe the man should spend their money supporting their familes.

What do you mean by self taught education ? And why does a man have to support his family ? I would say the vast majority of families are supported by both parents or you have very little leeway .

I actually get by on very little thanks. Im just crafty like that.

Is your boyfriend on board with financially supporting you and any children you two have?

Okay, will you be able to take your child to a hospital or doctor if need be ? I'm not sure of your country or how they go about insurance where you are . Or insurance to have that baby . Do you have a lot of family and friend support? Is your relationship stable ? Are you sure your boyfriend's going to be there when this baby is born ? There are many things you need to consider .

I guess you just need to find someone who is financially stable and want their wife to be a stay at home mum. They are out there, you just need to meet the right person who have compatible needs, wants and goals in this regard.

Also I do agree that while it's expensive to raise a child, it depends on how much luxury / non-necessities you buy, whether you send them to private school (where I am, public school is free, government provide loans for all university students, which they pay off only once they start earning over a certain amount), we also have universal health care, so if the baby is really sick or injured, it's also free to treat (not for minor sickness though), so you're right it doesn't have to be expensive depending on where you are. But it WILL cost quite a bit of money, which if you're in a min wage job, I highly doubt you can support on your own.

More importantly, children need a stable family, with mum and dad, so if you have the choice, I would not actively choose to have a child by yourself or with a partner who you're not sure will be around for the long term or that will be able to support the family long term.

Of course relying on someone else for financial support means you won't have much financial freedom and it will be difficult to leave if the relationship falls apart. So that's something to think about.

Yeah i guess there is a lot to consider. My family has money but there not very supportive of having children. Kind of makes me sad.

Also what if your child has a disability? Mine does and he may with us his entire life. He's almost 20 years old and I haven't been without him for longer than a 24 hour period. Raising a child with a disability actually costs more than $1 million if you include costs of programs etc.

I had no reason to think we would have a child with a disability . We were both young and healthy I didn't even so much as take a Tylenol when pregnant. It just happened that way.

Thanks for your wise input.

Just give your child the best opportunities you can . Get the both of you in the right place to have a child . Because your friends are having children is not really a good reason .

I know for myself I didn't have that pressure because I was the first of the people I knew to have children . And I'm sure it has to be hard . But I was born to parents who barely had a pot to pee in. It was hard when I was little. My parents were only 20 years old . And I think I had a lot more to offer my son being I had him when I was almost 31 .

If you rely on someone then you rely on that person. They could end up being horrible. They could die. They could get sick. Your child could have many problems that need $$. I say you always want to try to be on equal footing with the person you enter a relationship with. If you want to have a child you have to be able to support them by yourself if need be.

Who am I to talk though I'll never have children.

I think a human babies NEEDS are pretty simple. People MAKE having a child expensive by buying stuff they dont need. Im all for thrift store shopping and self taught education. Being a mother is a job and I believe the man should spend their money supporting their familes.

Babies take a lot of money to get started with, you need clothes, possibly formula, definitely a lot of diapers, crib, stroller or carriage, toys, the list goes on. If you have to pay to see a doctor there's another big expense. I shopped in thrift stores all the time in order to make my money go further, and yes it helps, but you still need money, and lots of it, to raise a child. Once they go to school there's another pile of expenses. Or are you suggesting home schooling? Personally, I am not in favour of that but that is another topic. Most kids to go school with other kits.

Yes being a mother is a job, I was a stay at home mother for my kids and it was hard, financially. My husband worked hard to earn the money to keep us going. He wasn't blowing money in the bars!

Do you have kids?

Good luck with that.

The best thing you can do is focus more on financial independence and your career. Also get a place of your own with roommates.

"Stay at home mom" is not a career. Most guys will run from this "career goal".

Can you take courses or some sort of career training?

Im flat broke but i really want to start a family.I think id make a wonderful stay at home mom.I wish i could get financial help from someone. Im 30, petite and young looking but already tired from my years of prior working minimum wage jobs.