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Thread: After 3 years he still pulls away then comes back with an "I apologize "

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Msbelize
    We don't argue, if we do disagree on something we resolve it and move on from it. Yes, he physically walks away. It's been almost a week. Last night I was thinking; he's done this when something has happened either to his family members and close friends. When his mother was hospitalized, we didn't speak for 2-3 days, after she was released, he reached out to me.
    He sounds like he has communication issues. It's okay to tell your partner "I need some space" but to disappear for a week, that's kind of extreme. You need to decide is that acceptable for you and if not then he needs help to learn to communicate or you need to decide what's best for you.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Random disappearances often indicate affairs.
    Originally Posted by Msbelize
    Yes, he physically walks away. It's been almost a week.

  3. #13
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    What kind of excuses does he give when he comes back? Just saying "I'm sorry" doesn't cut it.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Krankor's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Msbelize
    We don't argue, if we do disagree on something we resolve it and move on from it. Yes, he physically walks away. It's been almost a week. Last night I was thinking; he's done this when something has happened either to his family members and close friends. When his mother was hospitalized, we didn't speak for 2-3 days, after she was released, he reached out to me.
    It sounds as if when he's stressed or feels as if he needs to focus his energy elsewhere he just kind of disappears and doesn't want to deal with the relationship. When that happens, he seems to operate under the "It's better to seek forgiveness than to seek permission" model. And, really, why not? It's worked for him so far.

    Before there's even a next time, I think you should have this conversation with him. "Look, I don't intend to keep you under lock and key. You're a grown man and if sometimes you need to go and take care of something that's fine. But we are in a relationship and I need to be told, that's all. This disappearing act you like to pull is BS. I don't do it to you and won't put up with it anymore. The next time you decide to do it you may as well just stay gone."

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