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Thread: Was this guy 24 years younger just playing head games??

  1. #1

    Was this guy 24 years younger just playing head games??

    I met this guy who works at our local casino. I've talked to him sparingly for about 2 years while he worked in valet but over the last 3 months I have talked to him several times each week since he now works inside the casino. Since it's while he's working, it's only a few minutes here and there. He is 23 and I am 47. As far as I know he doesn't have a girlfriend and I am separated from my husband and have no children . He is an attendant for the slot machines and since I frequent the casino almost daily, I would see him often. He is the one who initiated the conversations and actually came to my business to visit a few months ago. It was strictly a friendship where most conversations revolved around him. He loves to talk about himself. I questioned him about two months ago because it seemed to me that sometimes he would stop and talk with me and other times he would blatantly( well it seemed to me blatant) walk right past me. He told me that he always looks past people and doesn't pay attention, so sometimes he doesn't see me. He says that coworkers try to get his attention a lot of times and he doesn't see them. He claims this is a problem he has. Don't ask me how when your job is to watch when people need help!? He also said that he doesn't like to let people get too close to him and he puts a wall up and won't let people in. He had found his Mom dead from a heart attack 3 years ago and I'm not sure if this is where that stems from. I feel that's why he puts a wall up because he feels he's going to lose everyone that gets close to him like he lost his Mom.

    Anyway, some nights he would stop for five minutes to see me and then get a call to go tend to a machine and he would leave. I always questioned if it was a legitimate call or if he just pretended since it comes through an earpiece so I would never really know. He would say he would be back and probably 40% of the time he would stop back. But other times he would be stationed in the area where I was ( they have sections they are assigned to and switch every few hours ). But he would not stop back even though he was walking past me or right behind me and he wasn't busy! It's part of his job to socialize with the guests and he always told me he can talk as long as he wants and wouldn't get in trouble because I would always be concerned that he would get in trouble for standing talking to me. I started getting very aggravated because I felt like he would only bother with me if and when it were convenient for him. About 3 weeks ago during a major snowstorm I was at the casino and he was working and literally talked to me for about 2 hours. But then the next week again it was hit or miss with him. We would text periodically so I did text him and asked what was going on. I asked him if I was being a pain in the ass being at the casino all the time and texting him. I also made a comment that maybe I should go to my other house which is 12 hours away for a few weeks. I felt like he was playing head games with me and I never knew which "friend" I was going to get when I did see him. Was it the one that ignored me or the one that liked our talks? I should mention that I did develop a huge crush on him and had strong feelings for him. I never did tell him but I think he did overhear me about a month ago answer a lady who asked if he was my boyfriend and I said no but I wish he was. But in the same instance some of the comments he would make made me feel that maybe he wanted more than just friendship. It took him a day and a half to just read the text and he texted me back when I told him I felt like there was something wrong, that he seemed to be playing games, sometimes stopping to talk and other times just walking right by. He said this is the best he had felt in a long time and there was nothing wrong. He never did answer about me being a pain in the ass or about me possibly going away for a few months. I asked him if we could get together and go out for dinner just to talk while he wasn't working since we had never gotten a chance to be alone outside the casino. It took him a day and a half again to just read my text. He responded back and said yes. I then sent a text back saying that I was so relieved that all was ok and again he didn't read it for a day and a half even though he knew I was upset about how I felt like he was playing games with me! So I decided to send him a text saying that I was going to walk away and not bother with him anymore. It was too stressful not knowing from day to day how I would be treated. I explained in detail why I felt like I did, that no matter how busy you are it only takes a second to read a text and it was so disrespectful to keep doing that to me over and over . He says he doesn't do much so I know he wasn't too busy every day to read the texts . I told him the ball was in his court now. I said that I am taking his blatant hint by not reading my texts for a day and a half, that I was being a pain in the ass. I said if he wanted to talk just let me know. He never responded. A few days later I sent him a text saying I don't like to be mad at anyone and that I was sorry and asked him if we could talk since I didn't want either of us to have to be uncomfortable and avoid each other at the casino. He did respond a day and a half later saying that he's fine and he won't make it uncomfortable for either of us there. He usually walks right past people so he probably won't see me anyway. So in other words he didn't walk to talk and make peace!

    I still see him two or three times a week for a minute or two while he's walking around and yesterday I came face to face with him. I said hi how are you and he said fine but was very rude and didn't smile.Even though it's less than 2 weeks since I walked away, I cannot stop thinking about him. I don't know if it would have ever turned romantic but I miss all the talks we used to have. I always tried to get him to open up about things because I know he used to bottle up alot inside himself . I worry about him and about that. BUT in the back of my mind I keep thinking about how all the talks would always center around him. I still don't know if he knows my last name or even where I live? But then on the flip side he's the one that came up to my business to visit me???? So I am just so confused. Should I have sent him that text saying that I'm walking away from his head games he plays?? But I feel that's what he wanted. Now after how rude he was to me I wonder if he really is bothered by me walking away ? I don't understand why then he wouldn't want to get together and talk about my decision when I asked him if we could? So why would he play these games? I often wonder if him finding his mom dead has affected him more than I know . He told me he trusted me and that's why he would tell me things . He did say he's a very private person and doesn't talk to too many people . Maybe he felt like I was getting too close to him or too personal and didn't want to let me inside that wall . Was I wrong to send him that text and should I try to get him to talk to me or take the hint that's he doesn't even want to be friends? I worry about him every day and I think if I could just get him to talk to me away from work we could be friends again and just start over. I could really use some advice!!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    You have a crush on him. He is clearly not interested. The best thing is to move on. Don't hurt yourself further. He was not your friend to begin with. Friends are not rude to each other and do not play head games. Let it go. You need to move on to new people.

  3. #3
    Think you Cleo for taking the time to respond to my post. I guess deep down I knew that, I just needed to hear it from someone else. I was just hoping to get together and talk to him to see why he started acting the way he did, not reading texts etc. I just worry about him because I was one of the only people he would confide things in and I think he has a lot bottled up inside him since his Mom passed away. I was just hoping to be able to make sure he's OK !

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    It seems to me that you like him a lot more than he likes you, and also like he must get some sort of kick out of watching you dangle there on a string. Sounds like a sadist. I think you did the right thing by walking away. This situation would have been all stress and no romance.


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