Would you be ok w/ your significant other hanging out w the opposite sex alone?

Would you be alright with your significant other hanging out with the opposite sex alone? I know everyone has different opinions on this - some are okay, some say it depends on trust levels, and some outright think it shouldn't be done unless they are tagging along with their significant other. Leave a response and a short explanation why!

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. I will readily admit that I am insecure and I have trust issues. But even if I were more secure, it doesn't seem appropriate to me for someone in a relationship to be hanging out with someone of the opposite sex. My parents have been married for over 40 years, and I've never known them to do this. When you're in a relationship, your partner's feelings should come first. There should be no room for doubt.

It would depend on who she was and how long they had known each other.

Long time/childhood friend? Sure no problem, it's not my place to ruin established friendships.

New friend, recent coworker? I mind quite a lot.

My LT boyfriend recently broke up with me unexpectedly and was in a full-on, very public relationship with his best friend of seven years, two weeks after the breakup!

I didn't have a problem with them hanging out alone back then, but in hindsight I wish I would have stepped in and set some boundaries.

I don't think it matters how long the people have known eachother (eg my situation) but I do think it depends on how trustworthy that person is. I also think your 'gut feeling' can help a lot - when my ex was hanging out his 'best friend' alone i always had a niggling doubt at the back of my mind but I always pushed it back and told myself I was being silly not trusting him.

I also think if someone is in the mindset of cheating, they will cheat eventually regardless of if you allow them to hang out with the opposite sex or not. It's not something we can control - and these people suck

It totally depends on the opposite-sex person in question. I'm a female with many male friends, and one of them even rents a room from me and it is 100% platonic. That said, I would be hypocritical to get too upset if my hypothetical SO was hanging out with a girl, especially if it is a long-time friend. I agree with greta96 that I would not be so cool with "new" female friends or acquaintances.

Context matters.

Well I think for me personally, I would judge it on a case by case basis and try to listen to my "gut feeling". I do think that men and women can be friends but it just depends on the situation. For example, if my partner was hanging out with someone of the opposite sex but their friend was also in a relationship/married and they'd been friends for a good while, then it most likely would mean the friendship was only platonic. Or if it's just someone they've known for a really long time and nothing romantic had ever happened then that obviously means they're just friends. I also think that friends of the opposite gender who just want platonic friendship would be respectful and be friendly to me and try to get to know me and include me too. For example if the friend added me on Facebook or invited me to their parties or group events, that would most likely mean they had nothing to hide.

My best friend is a guy and we've been really close for six years. Although he's basically bisexual/mostly gay and he has a boyfriend. But I do have some other not as close male friends that I've been friends with for 10+ years. I think if I met a guy and he told me to dump all my male friends, I would be more likely to dump him to be honest because those are long term friendships and they mean a lot to me. I think when you first start dating someone, it's not really fair to ask your partner to cut off all opposite gender friends because thr friends may have been there long before you. Also there is that saying "boyfriends/girlfriends come and go, but friends are forever". I mean what if you break up with your partner but you made them dump some of their friends and they'll have less support?

Also I think that men and women CAN actually be friends if they're both not attracted to each other. So I think my view is just based on the situation and it's usually fairly obvious if people have something to hide or not.

Were they friends before you came along?

No history together?

Yes, opposite sex can be 'friends'.... just act respectfully if they're in relationships.

Anything questionable.. spending tooo much time together, etc.. I'd be weary about.

I didn't have a problem with them hanging out alone back then, but in hindsight I wish I would have stepped in and set some boundaries.

It's terrible this happened to you, it was so crappy of him to put you through this knowing he had his eyes set on his 'friend'... Unfortunately I doubt setting boundaries would have helped one bit, if he liked her that much and wanted her as more than a 'friend', there is nothing you could have done to change it.

The truth of the matter is, you can never really know, even the best of people can surprise you.

You can take all the votes and polls you want but it's really up to you.

Not okay and it's not just an insecurity thing, it's just risky and there's no reason to even open up the possibility of anything happening.

As you said the key word is hanging out ALONE. It's different if it's a group of friends or a group of couples hanging out, or you reach out to an acquaintance of the opposite sex as a resource for something specific. Like for example, you have a friend who is a lawyer and your seeking legal advice so contact them one time. But if it's a constant, alone, thing and it's playful, chances are that if it's not already a romantic or sexual attraction then eventually itll become one, especially if that person is readily available when the other is going through a conflict or struggle.

I will speak on behalf of men and women. As a woman I do not have friendships with men unless I am single, chances are if I'm speaking to men regularly it's because I'm unhappy in my relationship and looking for something that I'm lacking in my relationship. Problem with that is that it doesn't fix the problem because you're further separating yourself from the relationship by giving/getting attention to/from someone else.

I've also seen men in relationships continue friendships with women (myself included) in order to flirt and get attention and eventually end up cheating, even if at the beginning it was "just a friend".

Would you be alright with your significant other hanging out with the opposite sex alone? I know everyone has different opinions on this - some are okay, some say it depends on trust levels, and some outright think it shouldn't be done unless they are tagging along with their significant other. Leave a response and a short explanation why!

Depends. If I suspected there were feelings on either side, absolutely not!

 

If it's a strictly business thing, like a lunch or whatever, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

 

As a man, I know I, personally, wouldn't invest a lot of time into any woman unless I had at least some background attraction to her. I think a lot of men are the same way.

 

I also think a lot of women are overconfident, like male attention in general, and think they can control feelings when being "friends" with a guy that's obviously into her. I think that's dangerous in a committed relationship.

 

I know Mike Pence took a lotta flak for saying he wouldn't take another woman to dinner. I kind of agree with him though.

If it was exes and past FBWS probably not. Friends, sure.