I found out my boyfriend is bisexual

I have been going out with him on and off for about 1 1/2 years. For the first half year we were only having sex casually until we started having feelings for each other. Our biggest issue has been him talking to other girls and flirting with other girls. That's why we've been on and off most of the time. For a while I really could see a future with him and he has thought about us getting married and eventually having kids. We connect really well when we're not fighting or when I'm not angry and he's the first man I have actually cared about. He has a lot of issues in the way that I know he doesn't love himself and has no self confidence and thinks he will never get anywhere in life. He has gotten better and he is continuously trying to get his life together he explains that he needs that extra push since he hasn't been in a relationship for a while. Last girlfriend he had, he told me he cheated on her but it appears there's more to the story then he told me.

In the back of my mind I know I should leave. I should find better, yet I'm still here. Whenever I try to leave, he pulls me back in.

Recently we got in an argument and something came up that I did not expect. The argument began with why he wasn't sexually satisfied with just one girl and he said there's a lot I don't understand and he can't tell me because I would judge so I told him to go ahead and tell me and he explained that he wants me to be more sexually open minded because he really likes sex, and when I asked how so ? What could I do? He said he would like to have another couple with us, when I asked why another couple (I don't mind having a threesome with a girl as l previously told him), he said that it's because he's bisexual. My first reaction was to cry and as soon as he saw my reaction, I feel like the sparkle in his eyes died. I asked him to explain further and he said he would never be in a relationship with another man but it'd just be for sex. He asked me why I was crying and I said because now I know we're definitely not meant for each other. I just feel so bad because turns out the reason him and his last gf broke up was because he was bi. I'm shocked and still really sad. My heart hurts for him but I feel like I have to move on but I just don't know what to do.. after learning this information about him idk if I could fully accept him and I don't think I could see a future with him but I still love him so much. I just wouldn't be able to keep him sexually satisfied... any advice?

He asked me why I was crying and I said because now I know we're definitely not meant for each other.

He cheated on his last g/f

He's admitted he is not satisfied being monogamous

You are open to experimentation but even what you WILL do is not enough for him

You argue all the time

You don't "love him so much" You are addicted to the drama and the way he breaks you in half when he leaves you (or you leave him) and the rush you get when he returns to you. Do you honestly think that he would in any way make a good LIFEmate to you?

Break up with him for good. Once you have broken it off then go ZERO contact so that you can detox from the dysfunctional relating that this man has you addicted to.

You can do it. All you have to do is add to the many more negatives that I've listed above that I'm sure there are and the resolve that you can do better then a sex addicted, non-monogamous, cheater.

I'm sorry you're going to have to go through some withdrawl but in the end, you will be glad you did the hard work of getting past him. Surely you KNOW you deserve better then what he's been offering you.

Bisexuality aside, he's a cheater with a history of cheating and low-self-esteem that he bolsters by flirting with other women. He could be totally straight and still not be a good bet for a relationship.

I'm bi and think it's odd that this is a deal breaker when him being incapable of honesty or monogamy (which I'm assuming he was asking for) wasn't the thing that made you realise this guy wasn't for you, but either way, you know what you can handle, and what you can't and you have every right to break it off with him.

You aren't right for each other. Let it go. There's this idea that love has to be a lot of work to be worth it, and it's total rubbish.

Bisexuality aside, he's a cheater with a history of cheating and low-self-esteem that he bolsters by flirting with other women. He could be totally straight and still not be a good bet for a relationship.

 

I'm bi and think it's odd that this is a deal breaker when him being incapable of honesty or monogamy (which I'm assuming he was asking for) wasn't the thing that made you realise this guy wasn't for you, but either way, you know what you can handle, and what you can't and you have every right to break it off with him.

 

You aren't right for each other. Let it go. There's this idea that love has to be a lot of work to be worth it, and it's total rubbish.

I know I need to end this for good. Him cheating on his ex gf was a cover up story as to why they broke up.. it didn't happen. It's just what he's been telling people because the real reason they broke up is cause he told her he's bi. His sexuality isn't the biggest issue but the fact that he is bi, I can imagine he'll want to experiment with men at one point and I can't give him that and I'm not okay with that.

I forgot to mention he tried to kill him self after his ex left him when she found out he was bi

that's still not your responsibility.

As a bisexual woman, it is very difficult to come out of the closet. The majority of society tends to pin us as perverts, cheaters, or swingers. I even found that people who are bisexual are even rejected by the gay/lesbian community for the same reason. I still haven't told my husband about my true sexuality because of two things:

1. I'm afraid that he would end up leaving me and drive his own insecurity.

2. He is going to suggest a threesome (which I am strongly against).

Like Agent mentioned, the issue isn't his sexual preference- it's the cheating. Bisexual people are very capable of maintaining monogamous relationships, but we have to want it. There are many out there - myself included - who are in happy marriages. Some of us explore and even have fun with our sexuality first before it is time to settle down.

This guy is not ready to settle. He is not ready to be in an exclusive relationship with anyone, may it be a guy or a girl. I'm sorry this has happened to you, but please do not blame it on his sexuality.

As a bisexual woman, it is very difficult to come out of the closet. The majority of society tends to pin us as perverts, cheaters, or swingers. I even found that people who are bisexual are even rejected by the gay/lesbian community for the same reason. I still haven't told my husband about my true sexuality because of two things:

 

1. I'm afraid that he would end up leaving me and drive his own insecurity.

2. He is going to suggest a threesome (which I am strongly against).

 

Like Agent mentioned, the issue isn't his sexual preference- it's the cheating. Bisexual people are very capable of maintaining monogamous relationships, but we have to want it. There are many out there - myself included - who are in happy marriages. Some of us explore and even have fun with our sexuality first before it is time to settle down.

 

This guy is not ready to settle. He is not ready to be in an exclusive relationship with anyone, may it be a guy or a girl. I'm sorry this has happened to you, but please do not blame it on his sexuality.

Perfection. OP this is probably the best advice you are going to get regarding this topic.

Even though you say this guy didn't physically cheat on his last gf, he did cheat on you. Emotionally, to be specific. He flirts and is inappropriate with other women. Now that there's the potential for doing the same with another man, you feel more threatened? Because perhaps you feel you can be the better woman for him in the end, but being a man is impossible? Is that why this discovery is more of a dealbreaker than his cheating on you?

Unfortunately you can't fix heal or change him. You can't love him into being loyal or straight or wanting only you or stop lying and keeping secret.

If you want a monogamous relationship leading to marriage kids picket fence happily ever after, he's not your guy. Do not be friends or fwb or on/off or anything. End it go no contact and delete and block him.

Find your happiness how you define it. Get tested for stds. He hasn't been not-bi or exclusive while you were dating on/off.

we've been on and off most of the time. he wants me to be more sexually open minded because he really likes sex. He said he would like to have another couple with us he said that it's because he's bisexual. he said he would never be in a relationship with another man but it'd just be for sex. the reason him and his last gf broke up was because he was bi.