LDR, need some solid advice

Hi

my name is mike

i was once a normal teenager growing up into this world and thinking that i will achieve something good to make my family and peers and relatives happy, but unfortunately it didn't workout that way in college and i had my brother die, my ex girlfriend of 8 year's cheated and married the same guy, when i taught we were life partners and past that stage, but she did it anyway and that threw me into hospitals with other patients looking to overcome pain suffering and depression dropped out college and became house bound but i developed another disorder because of my ex called body dismorphic disorder till this date i haven't really had any photo's of myself with family or myself alone enjoying new adventures like exploring, i never contacted her and decided to let her leave forever because i didn't wanted to be the villain or the hero in this anymore, year's passed i did meet other women in the process but only those who wanted to sleep around and never commit to anything, so comes around 2016 i met a beautiful girl who had been divorced she lived in Los Angeles, because of my body dismorphic disroder i showed her pictures of someone else i was so insecure thinking i will find love behind someone else's image that perhapes there's something wrong with my own when i should've known i was more attractive then her that the taught never crossed my mind and it was absolutely worse thing someone can do to someone, but in the process i tried many times telling her the truth even said what if i wasn't the guy in those pictures would you still love me and be with me.

she didn't mind it and continued to go along and said i know your joking until one day she found out the truth and she confronted me about it i was left hopeless and ashamed of what i had done...

but she talked to me and said i understand that your going through a lot and she forgave me and still told me i was the guy she had fallen for not those pictures, as relationship advanced to half of a year mark, we would have great time talking to each and not so great time talking when she would fight with me out of no where, her social media was constantly on and she would recieve phone calls or messages during the day, even sometimes at 5am, i would get mad and not having good trust was important and imporant in any relationship so i would think she was cheating on me, we would fight more than disconnect the phone and i would go to work, she started her last year at college and made new friends, and i started to work for myself, we would talk occassionally but the conversations were limited now, i loved her deeply and i would question her love for me, her intentions, came around her birthday she didn't celebrate it with me but she decided to celebrate it with her friends at some hotel left me disappointed because i celebrated mine with her, during these days conversations came to almost nothing and whenever we would talk she would use foul language and i would tell her to calm down and tell me if she is seeing someone and she would even get more violent like and use foul language, she spoke to my parents and told them she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life and she was happy and told them she loved me a lot, but she lied to them..

than the relationship ended, but i called her to ask her what's going on and why did she leave me i needed to hear the truth and she never told me, she hide it in a disguise and blamed me for everything, she broke my heart really bad specially when i had given up on relationships and happiness and lived my life quietly and didn't bother anyone, a lot of negative things happened many times i asked her to come back and lets work things out and she would say i can't trust you anymore, how our future is going to be like? how you going to raise my children with that tone, basically all b.s she blamed me for everything and i left her alone again for 2 weeks during this stage she and i talked, and her friend told me she was back with her ex husband and that he's in the United States, meaning Los Angeles but she said he was back in Rome married and settled down with someone... she never gave me the truth at the end, always blamed me, broken my heart, right now i'm working my way up, and applied the no contact rule to see if any good will come out of it but it's been almost 5 days and i haven't heard anything back from her so maybe she did play and toy around with my feelings... or maybe her husband did get back with her and she left me to be with him, or maybe she was cheating and got tired of me calling her out saying she was doing it I'd like some advice from people who have been in relatio ships which are long distance or all in general thank you and here's some advise for people

1 ) never lie about who you are, or what you do for a living to a women honesty is always more important because if you fall for her chances are she won't stay

2) always appreciate the women in the relationship and gave them 100 percent respect otherwise she will get it from somewhere else

3) don't ever involve yourself in long distance relationships it will end bad and when they do leave cheat or mess around you wouldn't know

4) do not believe in love cause it just didn't exist

- God bless

Goodness gracious I am not very into astrology but the stars and sun must be strangely aligned today, because this and other threads I have read today are especially sad and really intense.

@Badboi, did you ever meet this girl in person? Your post doesn't read like you have and your feelings seem unusually strong and intense towards someone you have never met in person. Not that I am judging, we can't help our feelings, and I get the distance could also add to the intensity factor.

I agree with your nos. 1, 2 for sure. Number 3, LDRs can work if you have developed a secure trusting relationship prior to it becoming long distance. Or do you mean 'cyber' relationships? Where two people agree to be in an exclusive committed relationship without ever having met in person? I don't think those could ever work. I definitely do not agree with your number 4.

I am sorry to hear about your brother, that must be hard losing him. Hope you feel better soon. You seem like a nice sensitive guy, you should move on from this girl, you will get over it and like you said, lots of lessons have been learned which is a good thing.

((((BIG HUG)))))