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Thread: When it gets dark, look for the stars...

  1. #41
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    My pleasure and I'm so glad I could help in some way!

  2. #42
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    Lost in Wonderland, not all is as bright as it seems

    I know they say that you should never let your experiences make your heart bitter. But Iím really finding it hard not to. Maybe itís because Iím still trying so desperately to find love when I havenít even accomplished loving myself fully yet. I know, that once again, this is all so self inflicted. But when I look around me, I canít help but panic. The generation of today brings me a lot of worry. Mainly when it concerns love. And finding a love thatís true and pure. I know I shouldnít spend so much time stressing over that and I should enjoy my life. And I do. I really do. But thinking ahead of time, what if I never find love? What if I never find someone as crazy for me as I am them? I know I should live every day as it comes. But what if? I know also it hasnít been five minutes since my last break up. Itís just, I canít help but notice that people are not so genuine nowadays when it comes to love. And that scares me... maybe Iíve been looking in all the wrong places. In fact, I know I shouldnít go looking for it at all. I wish love was like a movie. Is it ever like that? I just hope that one day I find someone who is tired of disloyalty too. Someone who wants something real. A best friend and a lover.

    My head feels awfully quiet again. Almost on the verge of just going MIA again and switching off my phone for a while. I like the peace of my own head sometimes. But admittedly, it can become a little dangerous. Reaching a point where I feel as though Iím completely lost in a Wonderland. One that I never want to leave to return to the real world.

  3. #43
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    I'm sorry you're struggling! What does true and pure mean to you? Do you want to find love as in a feeling or do you want to find a person you are inspired to give to and to care for and to share with and share romance with too? Love is a feeling but the loving as giving is -to me -what really makes a relationship strong and it need not be "pure" or "true" or any other abstraction -it's a boots on the ground front line messy nitty gritty action most often. It's giving when you don't feel like it -and giving especially then. It's a feeling too - it's remembering why you are with this person and committed to them - but mostly it's action and also inaction -choosing not to react out of a sense of loyalty and caring and love even though not reacting right then might require great patience and lots of self talk.

    I think most people who feel cynical find some way of blaming "society" or "today's generation". I don't buy it for a minute. I think ways of giving change over the years - for one thing gender roles have shifted so the way each gender is going to care for the other in a heterosexual relationship is bound to change.

    What is "something real?" I would avoid abstractions and stereotypes and idealizations especially when you're feeling cynical - I find that just escalates the negativity. One of my nieces is in her early 20s and found her future husband when she was about 13. He's a few years older than she is -so definitely of this generation. They seem very happy together and have two kids!

    Why do you want love to be like a movie? I mean sometimes it is but you know real life is so messy and can be kind of boring too (especially now!) but it keeps me alive - I love movies and romance novels etc and my life is not like a movie. The story of how we reconnected is and could be but the things that make me happy now have nothing to do with larger than life stuff. In fact, it's the opposite. And it's true to me, genuine to me, etc.

    If you think that people are generally disloyal that is who you will meet and attract.

    Again I am really sorry you're having a rough time.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ExoticDance
    But when I look around me, I canít help but panic. The generation of today brings me a lot of worry. Mainly when it concerns love.
    Why is that, I wonder? What are the thoughts that are going through your head about this?

    Originally Posted by ExoticDance
    I wish love was like a movie. Is it ever like that?
    Movies are bullsh*t.

    Fiction.

    They are glitzy and glamorous, so their messages eclipse our comparatively mundane daily experiences. But daily experience is where life happens. Not movies. Those are for dulling the senses.

    Real life is actually better than the movies. It just doesn't come with all of those stupid bells and whistles, and everything isn't tied up into neat, easily-to-process packages. It requires a little elbow grease.

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    If you think that people are generally disloyal that is who you will meet and attract.
    That's true. Or maybe it's better said that that's who you will recognize and accept.

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