She cancelled our date and I had no time to make other plans

The girl I was scheduled to meet today cancelled on meet through text last night and I was left with no other options tonight and home alone. I don't want to start scheduling 2 dates in one day because that would be just plain rude. But doesn't a person need a back up plan in situations like this? I hate the fact that my saturday was ruined and I didn't get to go out.

I suggested we meet at a place that sells coffee, sandwiches, pizza, and salads which was right across from a park but she shot down my suggestion and didn't offer any. Didn't see this coming at all.

I can say I do have a 2nd date with someone else next saturday so I do have that to look forward to as I begin to put this awful weekend behind me. I just wish she had cancelled on wednesday instead of friday night so I would have some time.

But I don't want to start scheduling two dates in one day so I guess if this happens again I just have to deal with it

But doesn't a person need a back up plan in situations like this?

No-one NEEDS to do anything. This is life. You aren't the first person and you won't be the last to be stood up on a Saturday night. How would a back up plan work anyway? If Girl A still goes ahead with the date you pull out of a date with Girl B ... she's then left doing nothing on a Saturday night.

If it worries you, don't plan dates for a Saturday night. Stick with what you would normally be doing and plan dates for other nights of the week.

There's a lot of hours on saturday. I'm sure you could divide up the 24hrs. I would suggest 3 hrs per woman with 1hr downtime. That way you could see 6 people. I would suggest subtracting 2 so you can get some rest. Good luck

Yeah I'm not seeing how an entire Saturday gets ruined from a 1 - 2 hour no-show. You need to pick times that put you out less if that's the case. Don't dump prime real-estate on women you barely know. It honestly takes me a few dates before I start throwing any weekend time into the mix.

Also, scheduling two dates in a day isn't "rude." How the hell are either of them going to know anyway? What's rude is if you don't keep track of time and end up late meeting another women because you didn't duck out of the date with the previous.

No-one NEEDS to do anything. This is life. You aren't the first person and you won't be the last to be stood up on a Saturday night. How would a back up plan work anyway? If Girl A still goes ahead with the date you pull out of a date with Girl B ... she's then left doing nothing on a Saturday night.

 

If it worries you, don't plan dates for a Saturday night. Stick with what you would normally be doing and plan dates for other nights of the week.

Yeah I agree that's why it's foolish to plan two dates for the same day

Yeah I'm not seeing how an entire Saturday gets ruined from a 1 - 2 hour no-show. You need to pick times that put you out less if that's the case. Don't dump prime real-estate on women you barely know. It honestly takes me a few dates before I start throwing any weekend time into the mix.

 

Also, scheduling two dates in a day isn't "rude." How the hell are either of them going to know anyway? What's rude is if you don't keep track of time and end up late meeting another women because you didn't duck out of the date with the previous.

Yeah during the week makes sense but she lives a little out of the way so we decided on saturday.

It was rude of her all right, but surely you can grab a buddy and go to the bar or shoot some pool or see a movie? There are a ton of things one can do without having to have a date to do them with.

My backup plan has always been I have so much going on, that sometimes I confess I've been happy when someone cancels on me. "Oh thank heaven's, I don't have to dress up and shave." I can then grab a movie, call a few friends up or cuddle with my pets, pull out a bag of chips and enjoy the sweet freedom of zero obligations.

Enjoy your time with second date girl, don't worry about it. People will stand you up sometimes or cancel last minute, so it just is what it is. But a good alternate is, "If this date cancels/sucks/is so bad I have to run out the back of a kitchen then I will just go see that movie I wanted to watch instead."

It was rude of her all right, but surely you can grab a buddy and go to the bar or shoot some pool or see a movie? There are a ton of things one can do without having to have a date to do them with.

 

My backup plan has always been I have so much going on, that sometimes I confess I've been happy when someone cancels on me. "Oh thank heaven's, I don't have to dress up and shave." I can then grab a movie, call a few friends up or cuddle with my pets, pull out a bag of chips and enjoy the sweet freedom of zero obligations.

 

Enjoy your time with second date girl, don't worry about it. People will stand you up sometimes or cancel last minute, so it just is what it is. But a good alternate is, "If this date cancels/sucks/is so bad I have to run out the back of a kitchen then I will just go see that movie I wanted to watch instead."

That used to be the backup plan but my friends are all married with kids now or living in another state.

First off, why did she cancel? Actually, scratch that. The fact that she canceled and didn't offer a makeup day, OR suggest an alternative (like you did with the pizza place) says that she isn't interested in seeing you. Maybe she got cold feet, maybe she got a better offer, maybe she's a catfish (using fake pics) and therefore CAN'T meet you. No matter the reason, she's a definite waste of time who will frustrate you if you let her. So delete her from your phone and move on.

As for having a backup, yes. ALWAYS have a backup plan. A lot of girls flake. That's just how it is. So if you're able, make two dates for Saturday. Let one be a daytime outing and let the other be an evening date. If the evening date cancels, you can stay with your daytime girl well INTO the evening if things are going well. If the daytime girl cancels, you still have your nighttime date. If neither girl cancels, you leave the daytime girl wanting more, and you have fun with the second girl. EITHER WAY, your Saturday isn't ruined. (Unless of course, they BOTH cancel on you. In which case, you just have lousy luck. lol)

Why are you wasting Saturdays on first dates in the first place? That's what weeknights are for.

I'm surprised that a few posters equate having a date to having a good Saturday... my goodness. You should be happy without someone. You shouldn't "always" have two dates, you should have dates when someone is on your radar that you may be interested in. If that comes to two on one Saturday, great. If it means you go a month or two without a date, great.

Yes it's rude that she flaked on you, but it happens. Why is your day ruined though? Why can't you be happy doing something on your own on Saturday?

It's understandable that you're annoyed with being stood up on a Saturday night. It's rude and annoying any night of the week. Yes, other plans can be made or one can just decide to stay home and relax, but still. The flakiness of people today truly is appalling.

I agree, though, with j.man in that you shouldn't "dump prime real estate on women you barely know." I've known guys to spend a lot of time and money on first dates, and they then are upset when it just doesn't work out for one reason or another. I'm a female, and always suggest coffee or something similarly priced for first meetings. It's much lower pressure and no one ends up feeling they "wasted" too much time or money if there aren't sparks.

First off, why did she cancel? Actually, scratch that. The fact that she canceled and didn't offer a makeup day, OR suggest an alternative (like you did with the pizza place) says that she isn't interested in seeing you. Maybe she got cold feet, maybe she got a better offer, maybe she's a catfish (using fake pics) and therefore CAN'T meet you. No matter the reason, she's a definite waste of time who will frustrate you if you let her. So delete her from your phone and move on.

 

As for having a backup, yes. ALWAYS have a backup plan. A lot of girls flake. That's just how it is. So if you're able, make two dates for Saturday. Let one be a daytime outing and let the other be an evening date. If the evening date cancels, you can stay with your daytime girl well INTO the evening if things are going well. If the daytime girl cancels, you still have your nighttime date. If neither girl cancels, you leave the daytime girl wanting more, and you have fun with the second girl. EITHER WAY, your Saturday isn't ruined. (Unless of course, they BOTH cancel on you. In which case, you just have lousy luck. lol)

It was because I don't drive right now. Car is not necessary because where I live parking is very limited and I get around in cabs, uber or lyft. Plus I have other financial obligations like getting out of debt and increasing my savings. So I still live alone and have a stable job but the car thing was a big deal with her. It wasn;t with the girl I met last week and seeing her again next weekend. So I guess everyone is different. And since I see in my own building that there are men who have no car and no place of their own and being taken care of by a woman, I am in no rush to get a car right now. Just from my coworkers I can see that having a car is nothing but a financial headace

Why are you wasting Saturdays on first dates in the first place? That's what weeknights are for.

True but she lived a little further from me and worked overnight since she is a nurse so that would not have been possible. If we both worked during the day and had evenings free then that would have been a possibility. That actually makes more sense for a 1st meet instead of a saturday or sunday.

Yes it's rude that she flaked on you, but it happens. Why is your day ruined though? Why can't you be happy doing something on your own on Saturday?

I actually was going to go shopping from spring and summer clothes but decided to just wait since my rent is due in a few days.

It's understandable that you're annoyed with being stood up on a Saturday night. It's rude and annoying any night of the week. Yes, other plans can be made or one can just decide to stay home and relax, but still. The flakiness of people today truly is appalling.

 

I agree, though, with j.man in that you shouldn't "dump prime real estate on women you barely know." I've known guys to spend a lot of time and money on first dates, and they then are upset when it just doesn't work out for one reason or another. I'm a female, and always suggest coffee or something similarly priced for first meetings. It's much lower pressure and no one ends up feeling they "wasted" too much time or money if there aren't sparks.

My female friend always tells me that no grown women wants to get dress and make herself all sexy just to meet at a cafe for coffee. lol

My female friend always tells me that no grown women wants to get dress and make herself all sexy just to meet at a cafe for coffee. lol

I prefer to meet for coffee/tea but the problem is most of the nice cafes close at 5 or 6pm and most dates are 7 or 8pm so we end up having drinks instead somewhere. Food is out of the question as I am not in the habit of buying food for strangers, unless I am hungry and she wants to share some appetizers or something.

I prefer to meet for coffee/tea but the problem is most of the nice cafes close at 5 or 6pm and most dates are 7 or 8pm so we end up having drinks instead somewhere. Food is out of the question as I am not in the habit of buying food for strangers, unless I am hungry and she wants to share some appetizers or something.

I feel so foolish after reading this. How did I become that guy who always buys food for strangers once I meet them off a dating site?

I feel so foolish after reading this. How did I become that guy who always buys food for strangers once I meet them off a dating site?

I always set first dates for around 7:30-8:30 because by then she has eaten

I always set first dates for around 7:30-8:30 because by then she has eaten

And what can I do since I don't drink?

I think there's far more of a pity party issue here than one person cancelling plans on a Saturday night. Certainly that is annoying but she's not responsible for your social life or for your choice to meet her despite it having to be on a Saturday. You don't drink -meaning no liquids? Please. You go to a bar if that is the plan and you get a sparkling water - no one's business as to what you order, alcohol or otherwise. You can choose "poor me with no plans on a Saturday night because someone canceled" or you can choose "ok, that's irritating so instead I'll [fill in blank of activity on your own or with someone else]".

I get that you know your predicament could be much worse given the state of the world but I'll share this anecdote in the hopes it will give perspective. Yesterday my 8 year old son was invited to an outdoor birthday party at our local playground starting in the morning. It was supposed to go all afternoon too. We knew we couldn't get there in the morning and we were delayed in getting there even in the afternoon because he needed to go to the doctor and get antibiotics for what turned out to be an ear infection -so understand he'd barely been able to have any fun most of the week because he was sick. We get near the playground and see the table with the decorations and balloons -he starts to run there and when we get there we realize (1) that's not the party we were invited to and (2) the party we were invited to is long gone.

It was a beautiful day, playground teeming with kids/fun things to do, and my son was distraught. Insult to injury, the world is awful, the whole thing. He sat next to me on a park bench while I got work done and cried/moaned/whined "I missed out on all the fun!" and "I want to go home!" But guess what - after about a half hour, he calmed down, looked around and found something fun to do. And played happily for hours until dinner time. His plans were ruined and he had to see another party going on to boot. He'd been sick most of the week. And he had his pity party and then made the most of the beautiful afternoon at the park. I comforted him but not in an overblown way or telling him how to feel other than pointing out what is right with the world a few times - letting him sit with me - because I knew he had to get over it on his own as much as possible and frankly I was too busy with work and this was not ultra serious. So I suggest the same for you. Get over it after a short pity party. Strategize as to what you can do next time -minus the negativity and "all of my friends are married". If they are -guess what -they probably still would enjoy hanging out with you and if you want to meet single people well roll up your sleeves and get to work. If my 8 year old can do that, you can too. It's fine to vent here but at some point it's not going to be that helpful for you.

Good luck and again I'm sorry she canceled.

I think there's far more of a pity party issue here than one person cancelling plans on a Saturday night. Certainly that is annoying but she's not responsible for your social life or for your choice to meet her despite it having to be on a Saturday. You don't drink -meaning no liquids? Please. You go to a bar if that is the plan and you get a sparkling water - no one's business as to what you order, alcohol or otherwise. You can choose "poor me with no plans on a Saturday night because someone canceled" or you can choose "ok, that's irritating so instead I'll [fill in blank of activity on your own or with someone else]".

 

I get that you know your predicament could be much worse given the state of the world but I'll share this anecdote in the hopes it will give perspective. Yesterday my 8 year old son was invited to an outdoor birthday party at our local playground starting in the morning. It was supposed to go all afternoon too. We knew we couldn't get there in the morning and we were delayed in getting there even in the afternoon because he needed to go to the doctor and get antibiotics for what turned out to be an ear infection -so understand he'd barely been able to have any fun most of the week because he was sick. We get near the playground and see the table with the decorations and balloons -he starts to run there and when we get there we realize (1) that's not the party we were invited to and (2) the party we were invited to is long gone.

 

It was a beautiful day, playground teeming with kids/fun things to do, and my son was distraught. Insult to injury, the world is awful, the whole thing. He sat next to me on a park bench while I got work done and cried/moaned/whined "I missed out on all the fun!" and "I want to go home!" But guess what - after about a half hour, he calmed down, looked around and found something fun to do. And played happily for hours until dinner time. His plans were ruined and he had to see another party going on to boot. He'd been sick most of the week. And he had his pity party and then made the most of the beautiful afternoon at the park. I comforted him but not in an overblown way or telling him how to feel other than pointing out what is right with the world a few times - letting him sit with me - because I knew he had to get over it on his own as much as possible and frankly I was too busy with work and this was not ultra serious. So I suggest the same for you. Get over it after a short pity party. Strategize as to what you can do next time -minus the negativity and "all of my friends are married". If they are -guess what -they probably still would enjoy hanging out with you and if you want to meet single people well roll up your sleeves and get to work. If my 8 year old can do that, you can too. It's fine to vent here but at some point it's not going to be that helpful for you.

 

Good luck and again I'm sorry she canceled.

I dont like the bar atmosphere since it's too loud and I wouldn't be able to hear what my date is saying. I prefer a more calm atmosphere when meeting someone

And what can I do since I don't drink?

You don't have to drink alcohol, tell your date that as you order a club soda or whatever. If you are traveling to another part of town for a date, just google around for a nice cafe (open late) and then it wont even be an issue. A couple cups of tea or whatever is also going to be peanuts compared to going to a restaurant and feeling obligated to buy her dinner. I had two dates last week, #1 she had a glass of wine and I had a beer. #2 I had a blueberry smoothy and she had some chocolate thing. Both were cheap (and failed) first dates, as they should be.

My female friend always tells me that no grown women wants to get dress and make herself all sexy just to meet at a cafe for coffee. lol

Maybe not, but if you like us and we like you, we sure will get all sexy to go to dinner with you!