Help needed asap

I'm a 19 yr old girl who has been in a relationship with my recent ex who is 45. I have been with him for 2 years (living with him) and working alongside him in his business, which is how I met him whilst doing a weekend job selling flowers and also he is a show man (has funfair rides). At first he adored me and didn't even like spending a few days apart as he missed me and I missed him. After about a year he would start telling me I'm messing the business up, spending too much money, not tidying the house properly and that all I care about is drink (I only drink at the weekend or if we go out together the same as him). He started critising me regaring my lifestyle telling me I'm lazy even though I do all the cooking and housework and work beside him most of the year helping put up fairground machinery and selling Christmas trees. I also need some work done on my top teeth (nothing much just previous fillings have discoloured) of which I'm very self concious. I am told I'm a pretty girl and shouldn't worry about this as it can get fixed by my family but he points it out to me in a nasty way if for example I'm enjoying a chocolate bar. Over the last 6 months I've felt I've been walking on eggshells as at the moment there isn't much work so I have been looking for work independently and because if location of where we live he has told me to stay at my mums (in town) and only see me at weekends and even then arguments really prior comments I've made occur. I know for sure this isn't because he's cheating and feel he's pushing me away. Last night I went back we went to the pub had a good time came back and slept together but I felt I needed to say how I felt about being pushed away and only seeing him once a week. He got angry and aggressive and said it was my fault and told me that he said this would happen in a couple of years time (at beginning of our relationship) if I kept ignoring things he told me to do and kept doing things wrong. I said to him " you don't care how I feel do you" and he said " no I don't ing care..I've only cared for two years" in a sarcastic way then said I'm going to bed... so I went into bedroom but he refused to talk so I said I'm going home to which he said " are u sure you want to do this it's 11pm" I said yes I do and he called me a taxi and didn't try to stop me but sent a text asking if I was home safe and that he didn't want me to go but wasn't going over the same again. . Since then I've tried calling him twice this morning but he wont answer but has messaged me to ask for all his work receipts that are on my email I can't help feelin the break up is now all my fault. I still love him and don't know what to do. Please advise

He doesn't respect you, he see's you as a little girl who needs to be bossed around and isn't taken seriously. He does not view you as a grown woman and doubtfully he ever will.

You were something for him to mess about with but not taken seriously.

He talks down to you.

Its not going to work, the age gap is an obvious issue and it's not going to change. You should really just let it go, he will never treat you properly no matter how much you might want him to.

Find someone closer to your own age.

Girl you need to get away from this controlling creep as soon as you can, and try to put your life back together! Don't waste even another day on him, and start living your life, because what you've done for the past 2 years is not the way a teenager should be living her life!

First of all, just think about it: what kind of person messes with a 17 years old, at 43 years of age? Does the fact that he was unable to be with and connect with someone his age not tell you anything? You sound mature for your age, but even so, what could you possibly have in common with a middle aged man, when you two are at completely different stages in life?

And even age gap aside (although it is very telling of his mental state/issues), he's been treating you like a maid! A maid that he had full control of and put down at leisure, was rude to, and even emotionally abusive to if you ask me. This is as dysfunctional as it gets, and it is only his fault. Not yours, despite what he would like to have you believe, like the manipulating a$$ that he is.

You may not realize it now, but this is your opportunity to break loose from him and start living life as it should be lived, at 19. Give him all the receipts he wants, then block him so you don't have to hear his fake declarations of love, when he comes crawling back. This man has issues and he will never be able to find a woman his age to be with, because women his age know better. So, since you are young and gullible enough to stay, he will not let you go easily. But you need to be strong and not fall into his trap again. Break free and you'll be amazed at how much fun life really is, when you're surrounded by people your age, with the same interests as you!

Ty very much for your reply..I feel I haven't shown him as a whole and this post is a little biased on my part.. he has been very supportive and loving in the past would give me money even if times were hard..took on caravan holidays made me feel loved and secure tried to make effort with my family as he felt they thought he was too old for me. Thinks I haven't been bought up with the right morals. For example lent my mum money but she didn't pay it all back which caused a lot of conflict and I can't help but think I'm not seeing the bigger picture here. Is it me? Am I not understanding him because of my age

Men shouldn't be giving you money sweetheart, you should be on your own two feet and not be needing any man to be handing you or your mother money. That's bordering on prostitution, and control not love.

He does not see you as his equal nor will he ever.

Besides the fact that Greta is right, something seriously wrong with a grown man chasing after a teenager. It's not normal but if it does occur, it is usually because the grown man is not mature enough for women his age or he wants someone weak that he can control and use as he pleases.

He thinks you haven't been brought up with the right morals? Hes not your father and he has bad morals by the sounds of it.

This guy is a creep, stop allowing him to use you and speak to you so badly.

Stay with your mother continue to look for work and earn your own money. Get your parents to help you with whatever health and dental care you need.

Focus on your career and career training. Focus on a self improvement program of getting in shape, new clothes, dental care, a new hairstyle, etc. Also join clubs, groups, enroll in classes, lessons or a local college. Volunteer. Spend time with friends and family.

He treated you like a naive housekeeper, slave, sex toy and he's abusive. It's amazing your parents didn't help you get out of this disaster and let you ruin 2 yrs of your young life on this creep. Stop investing in this daddy-aged moron and invest in yourself.

Stop wasting your life on this jerk. End it. Go no contact and sever all your ties with this opportunistic scum.

I'm a 19 yr old girl.ex who is 45. I have been with him for 2 years living with him. he has told me to stay at my mums. Last night I went back we went to the pub had a good time came back and slept together. he said " no I don't ing care..I've only cared for two years"

Do you live in a culture where it's normal to pawn off a teen daughter to someone more than twice her age so the parents can ease the financial burden of supporting her? It's incredible your parents turned a blind eye to this usage of you.

"In many communities here in one of the world’s poorest nations, daughters grow up with a single purpose: to be sold into marriage for cows to expand a family’s herd — the closest thing most people have to a bank account — and to buy wives for her brothers. Across much of the troubled country, young girls remain as much a commodity for marriage as they ever were. The vast majority of those marriages are thought to be families trading their daughters for cows. The bride price is typically 20 to 40 cows, each worth up to $500. A girl who is seen as beautiful, fertile and of high social rank can bring as many as 200 cows."

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