he has a girlfriend but we flirt?

So me and this guy i like grew up as acquaintances as kids but in the last year became really close, and when we got really close, we ended up flirting a lot. We live about 2 1/2 hours apart but so we only end up seeing each other like once every month or two. To make up for it, we video chat and text and snap constantly. When we're together in real life, everyone thinks we're a couple because we walk around holding hands and are really touchy with each other. He recently got a girlfriend and i when went to go visit him i brought my hot guy friend (so i didn't have to third wheel) and seeing him with his girlfriend for the first time was really eye opening. All of a sudden i realized that i couldn't just hold his hand and sit on his lap or kiss his cheek all the time because it would piss her off, and i realized i had actual feelings for him. When i drove back home that day, i texted him telling him that i needed a break from talking to him for a while because i realized i had feelings and i didn't want it getting in the way of our great friendship and stuff. He told me he admired me for being so honest with him and he, too, didn't want to ruin our friendship and attempt a long distance relationship when i'm his closest friend. I value our friendship so much, but now that i see him this way, i can't stop. We both value our friendship but one day i'm going to crack and just pounce on him or something... And i'm not sure what to do. I love him, in a friendship way and a romantic way. He and his girlfriend aren't super serious, but they're on their way and we've literally banned the topic of dating other people because neither of us can really stand the other talking about other people like that. Any advice? I see him again in a week and it'll just be the two of us. I'm not sure how to handle this anymore.

Thanks!

How old are you both?

Once you guys start having feelings for each other, you can't stay as friends. With holding hands and flirting, you guys crossed the friendship line. And once that line is crossed, it is damn near impossible to go back as friends.

He has a girlfriend now and now you can't be doing all those "fun" activities with him out of respect for his relationship. I have to applaud you for recognizing this and taking a major step back just to show that level of respect; so many posters who come here on ENA with this situation just don't care and keep doing what they have been doing.

I love him, in a friendship way and a romantic way.

You can't love him in both ways. It has gone to romantic... And he now has a girlfriend. You know what this is going to mean...

Any advice? I see him again in a week and it'll just be the two of us.

You're not going to like to "hear" this, but it's the right thing to do for yourself and him.

Stop seeing each other, especially alone.

1. His girlfriend will find out about the arrangement and she will not like it. How would you feel if some female friend started hanging out with your new boyfriend alone without you?

2. You guys have feelings beyond a friendship. Spending alone time together will lead to an emotional affair. This will disrespect his relationship and string you along to something he cannot offer to you... And you will end up getting hurt.

I'm truly sorry, but there is no way you can continue having a friendship with this man anymore. Plus he lives nearly 3 hours away and is moving on with his own life. The ship has already sailed with him. One of the sucky things about growing up is how old friends start to move on and friendships seem to faze out. It is much more difficult staying friends with someone of the opposite sex because of the high risk of attractions developing. The only way I ever see (from my own experiences) opposite sex members staying friends is if both parties at in solid relationships AND are spending time together with their SOs/spouses... No more alone time.

I really hate to say this, but it's time to faze him out of your life. Do not agree to see him alone at all, even if he tells you that's ok. It's no longer appropriate to do so with a taken man. Anytime he sees you should be in the presence of his girlfriend, so that she doesn't suspect an emotional affair is happening. And if you can't stand to do this, then it's a clear sign to say goodbye to this "friendship." It's going to hurt so much, but you both deserve to do the right thing... And sometimes, doing the right thing is not the easy thing.

Why would he go and get a girlfriend if he thought you and he might have something more than a friendship? And if he likes you so much and isn't even serious about his gf (as you say) why hasn't he dropped her and come for you now that he knows how you feel?

You might want to consider these things as it really shows where his feelings are and aren't.

Wow sounds like he was fine cheating on her until you met her. You need to go no contact and leave them alone.

Obviously he picked her, not you so that tells you something. Date your hot friend.

seeing him with his girlfriend for the first time was really eye opening. All of a sudden i realized that i couldn't just hold his hand and sit on his lap or kiss his cheek all the time

i realized that i couldn't just hold his hand and sit on his lap or kiss his cheek all the time because it would piss her off,

This guy is stringing you along and if you were kissing him, holding his hand and sitting in his lap its pretty darn clear that you like him yet he never asked you to be his girlfriend. As Sher has said, you have crossed a line and you've crossed the boundaries of a platonic relationship by acting like you were a couple. Time to stop talking to him and hanging out with him when you have feelings of the romantic kind for him and he does not reciprocate those feelings.

You are stagnating yourself from finding a great guy where you live by continuing on in this one-sided romantic "friendship." Don't let him keep you emotional embroiled. Zero contact is the way to go in order to get yourself over him and this so called "friendship."

He's fine with you sitting in his lap, holding his hand and kissing him because he gets to be the super stud who has two girlfriends.

Did you sit in his lap, hold his hand and kiss him in front of his girlfriend?

If not, it's because you know it's wrong.

If you think by continuing to act this way with him you will wrest him away from his girlfriend and you will get him for yourself, just remember...he's far away and will probably have another girl sitting in his lap, holding his hand and kissing him when you're not around.

And please don't delude yourself into thinking he thinks you're so special that he'd NEVER, EVER do that to YOU. Because he's already proven he DOES do this, and he will do it to you if you manage to get him away from his girlfriend.