Does no contact ever work?

So long story short, I was used, stood up multiple times, lied to, and played by the same guy in a short amount of time. I allowed it because I had strong feelings for him and he was my bestfriend before we dated. I told him if he can't treat me right to just let me go and all he said was " I'll let you go". I've been in no contact for 3 days ( not long) and he's blocked on everything except my phone doesn't really block just store the message in a folder with no notification. It helps because whenever I get a text message I know it's not from him.

Anyways, I usually break no contact only to be loved for a minute and be rejected the next. I truly want to move on but I miss our friendship. I wish we never would of went further.

How to not break NC and have you ever broke it?

For my fellow people who are in NC, how long have you been doing it? Are you hoping they will still come around and text you or are you officially moving on?

I think that's my problem, I'm secretly hoping he will message me and say how much he miss me, if he doesn't I'll be hurt. Hopefully it will get to a day where I'll no longer care.

Thanks for those who reply and those who simply read my story!

Most people go on-and-off NC for a while, but eventually stick with it.

Just do your best not to contact or check up on what they are doing. That's all you really can do.

Why haven't you blocked and deleted him. You are not NC!

I would reassess why you allow someone to treat you so poorly - it's not due to your feelings, but very low self worth. Take the focus off him, and understand why YOU allowed this.

He is blocked!! However, with my phone when you block someone it doesn't completely delete the texts it just store them in a folder so I can see if he texts or not. He cannot call me though. I agree, my self worth is definely lacking that is why I joined for a little bit support.

It is like a scab on a wound - you might not be able to resist picking at it initially, but you will eventually realise that doing so is just preventing you from healing.

Personally, I have grown to find it pretty easy to maintain no contact. Must be a stubborn streak that is inside me. But what is the alternative? Give him the ego boost when he sees you can't live without him? Let him continue to treat you like dirt? No thank you.

Find the strength within to focus on improving your own life.

You may want to consider changing your number, then.

Yep, change your number.

Yes, you can.

It only took me about 15 minutes to have my contacts imported from my old phone (do NOT have his number imported!) and another 15 minutes to text my family and friends my new number (do NOT text it to him!).

Any reason you can come up with why you "can't" change your number is just an excuse.

Change your number, problem solved!

Unless, of course, you don't really want him to be unable to contact you because you hope someday soon he'll "realize" he truly does love you and will stop jerking you around. Which, of course, is highly unlikely. Not because of some lack in you but because he's a jerk user (NOT a "friend").

It's not unusual to break NC now and again at the beginning, especially if it's the first time you've ever had to do it. But sooner or later you get sick of it or they do something so bad you can't fool yourself any longer that this person is at all good for you, and then NC becomes easier.

Personally this guy sounds erratic and into massive gameplaying. I know you miss the friendship, but really how good of a friendship was this to begin with IF this is how he treated you when dating you? I'd say it was kind of superficial before and dating him is when you saw the real him.

Anyways keep doing it, stay NC, write down every bad thing he did to you if need be to keep as a list to read back to yourself should he reach out, It helps when you can look in black and white and go, "Wow, this person never treated well, or that was a really rotten thing to do, why would I want to be friends with someone who did that to me."

Give yourself time to heal. One of the nicest things about NC, is if you stick with it, you come to your senses and can start to be more objective about what happened and why. For now you just need to adopt the attitude, "I have to heal from this guy and the damage he's done to my self-worth."

It does get easier and it gives you space and distance, which are vital in being able to pull back and really fully see everything in a way that lets you process things and move on.

I'm in NC with every ex I've ever had except the one I share kids with, but we don't really care and our kids are grown, so we have little contact anyways. The only one I repeatedly broke NC over was the toxic one, that was my last ex. Ugh, never again. I would have been over the guy a lot sooner if I'd just stopped letting him weasel his way back into my life to begin with, but lesson learned.

Right now focus on you and treating yourself right. Remember, you should be your very best friend, so show yourself some TLC and kindness, reach out to family and friends, find a new hobby or activity to grab your interest and move forward. It's going to be okay down the road, heartbreak is something we heal from and learn from and I think you will too. Good luck.

Keep in mind that this person didn't see or treat you as a best friend. Do you lie, stand up and use your best friend? I would imagine not.

No Contact works wonders for detaching from someone and letting go of false hope, yes.

Hey, I'm totally in the same situation as you. But I tried my best to not contact him. It's freaking hard! I have strong feelings for him. I broke up with him and he said he still wanted to hang out with me. Aka, he just wanted to get laid I suppose.

I broke the no contact rule a few times but this time around, I decide to not give him any attention and went silent. I'm traveling a lot lately, I guess this will help me quite a bit.

 

How to not break NC and have you ever broke it?

For my fellow people who are in NC, how long have you been doing it? Are you hoping they will still come around and text you or are you officially moving on?

To not break NC, you have to just, well, keep NOT contacting the person. This also means no checking up on them on social media, no fishing for info from mutual friends, nothing. Radio silence. It's hard at first, as we can all attest. I have been in NC with an emotionally abusive ex fiancé for over 8 months now. I hoped for months and months that he would come back around; funny enough, he did come back around about 6 months in and I told him to walk. I've been NC ever since then.

Sadly, I'm in NC again right now with a guy who broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago (my thread is on here as well). It was hard at first, especially because we were good friends long before we tried to date, and I DID break NC 8 days in, but now another week has gone by and I feel a lot better. As mentioned elsewhere in the replies to your post, NC really does work to detach and stop holding on to hope of them returning. The guy you were with sounds unworthy of you, and he did you a huge favor by letting you go. Once the sting of this goes away, you will see this and appreciate it too. Good luck!

To not break NC, you have to just, well, keep NOT contacting the person. This also means no checking up on them on social media, no fishing for info from mutual friends, nothing. Radio silence. It's hard at first, as we can all attest. I have been in NC with an emotionally abusive ex fiancé for over 8 months now. I hoped for months and months that he would come back around; funny enough, he did come back around about 6 months in and I told him to walk. I've been NC ever since then.

 

Sadly, I'm in NC again right now with a guy who broke up with me almost 3 weeks ago (my thread is on here as well). It was hard at first, especially because we were good friends long before we tried to date, and I DID break NC 8 days in, but now another week has gone by and I feel a lot better. As mentioned elsewhere in the replies to your post, NC really does work to detach and stop holding on to hope of them returning. The guy you were with sounds unworthy of you, and he did you a huge favor by letting you go. Once the sting of this goes away, you will see this and appreciate it too. Good luck!

Thank you so much, it sucks to give 100 percent to someone who can barely give you 10 percent. It's crazy how we feed of that 10 percent they give us. I'm officially done, atleast I can say that I tried my hardest to do everything I could. Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope everything goes well for you as well!

It's not unusual to break NC now and again at the beginning, especially if it's the first time you've ever had to do it. But sooner or later you get sick of it or they do something so bad you can't fool yourself any longer that this person is at all good for you, and then NC becomes easier.

 

Personally this guy sounds erratic and into massive gameplaying. I know you miss the friendship, but really how good of a friendship was this to begin with IF this is how he treated you when dating you? I'd say it was kind of superficial before and dating him is when you saw the real him.

 

Anyways keep doing it, stay NC, write down every bad thing he did to you if need be to keep as a list to read back to yourself should he reach out, It helps when you can look in black and white and go, "Wow, this person never treated well, or that was a really rotten thing to do, why would I want to be friends with someone who did that to me."

 

Give yourself time to heal. One of the nicest things about NC, is if you stick with it, you come to your senses and can start to be more objective about what happened and why. For now you just need to adopt the attitude, "I have to heal from this guy and the damage he's done to my self-worth."

 

It does get easier and it gives you space and distance, which are vital in being able to pull back and really fully see everything in a way that lets you process things and move on.

 

I'm in NC with every ex I've ever had except the one I share kids with, but we don't really care and our kids are grown, so we have little contact anyways. The only one I repeatedly broke NC over was the toxic one, that was my last ex. Ugh, never again. I would have been over the guy a lot sooner if I'd just stopped letting him weasel his way back into my life to begin with, but lesson learned.

 

Right now focus on you and treating yourself right. Remember, you should be your very best friend, so show yourself some TLC and kindness, reach out to family and friends, find a new hobby or activity to grab your interest and move forward. It's going to be okay down the road, heartbreak is something we heal from and learn from and I think you will too. Good luck.

Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into your reply, it was an eye opener for me. We tend to give the most attention to the person who gives us the least. It has to do alot with our self respect and I realized I didn't have much until now. Once again, thank you! I hope things go well for you as well.

Hey, I'm totally in the same situation as you. But I tried my best to not contact him. It's freaking hard! I have strong feelings for him. I broke up with him and he said he still wanted to hang out with me. Aka, he just wanted to get laid I suppose.

I broke the no contact rule a few times but this time around, I decide to not give him any attention and went silent. I'm traveling a lot lately, I guess this will help me quite a bit.

It's okay, I've broke it numerous of times as well after I promised I will never look back. We just have to be strong!!!! Contacting them gives us a temporary feel of hapiness but after they play us again ( which I know my guy will I dont know about yours). Just stay strong, we can update eachother everyday! What day are you on?