Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Hey guys, So heres the deal. Met a girl in class and I asked her out. Her answer was "maybe" because she didn't want to say no to me but just started seeing a guy. We became friends through class but she would like every one of my insta, Facebook post within seconds and even admitted to stalking my Facebook and waiting for me after class (in prior semesters) to see if I would talk to her (which I didn't at the time). There was clear sexual tension between us and even her friends in the class could feel it. Last week, she found out her bf ( of 3 months, who lives 5 hours away from her) cheated on her, so they broke up. We went out to get drinks with her friends a couple of days later and she rally turned on the attention (even more than usual). We went out for st Patties and we made out, had a great time but she got upset over the breakup later in the night. The next day, she texted me saying that she wasn't ready to trust anyone etc. I told her id give her the space she needed... she then has texted or gotten in touch with me the next 4 days, even finding me at school to hang out. What do i do here? she knows I'm into her and she's into me, but not ready to commit.. am I wrong the think wishfully ? Thanks Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 What exactly do you suggest I do in that case as well Link to comment
happyfrank Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Be her friend for awhile. You don't want to be a rebound guy. Give her 6 months. Link to comment
jujusamples Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 What exactly do you suggest I do in that case as well I suggest you remain friends with her (no making out) and keep it that way for a while. Keep some distance as well. In the meantime, you should try to date others, see what else is out there. This has re-bound written ALL over it! You don't want to get into that mess. You are just her cushion at the moment because she's hurt that her boyfriend cheated on her. She needs an ego boost, and you are her perfect candidate. Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 Distance in what way? like no texts or... its very confusing for me lol i don't usually allow myself to fall into this kind of stuff Link to comment
jujusamples Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Distance in what way? like no texts or... its very confusing for me lol i don't usually allow myself to fall into this kind of stuff As in not always being there when she calls texts. It's not good for you to get too close at this moment, you will eventually fall into the re-bound guy. You could remain friends with her, just don't get too close. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 If you like her be careful not to get friendzoned or be the shoulder to cry on. Pull back a bit and make sure convos aren't about 'relationships' and especially her ex.We went out for st Patties and we made out, had a great time but she got upset over the breakup later in the night. The next day, she texted me saying that she wasn't ready to trust anyone etc. she knows I'm into her and she's into me, but not ready to commit.. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 she knows I'm into her and she's into me, but not ready to commit ^You summed it up here beautifully. So, yes, you would be foolish to think and act otherwise. Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 do these type of situations work out? Link to comment
Jibralta Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Work out as fun flings or friendships? Yes. As healthy, committed long-term relationships? Not so much. Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 ^your reasoning ? other than complete negativity Link to comment
Jibralta Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 ^your reasoning ? other than complete negativity Wow, I wasn't being negative at all. I gave you my reason, which was your own statement: she knows I'm into her and she's into me, but not ready to commit. She said she didn't want a commitment. It's just a logical progression. Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 my question was, with time, do these things work out... if i follow calls advice... or is it to s already Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 or is it done already * Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Hard to stay because you may not be able to steer this in any particular direction, no matter how you work it. Too many fickle emotions involved. Maybe they'll make up, maybe she's pining, maybe she wants her freedom and the list of variables goes on and on.my question was, with time, do these things work out... if i follow calls advice... or is it to s already Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 so i basically do nothing lol? i guess thats the smartest thing to do at this juncture Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 All the responses you received above are very good.so i basically do nothing lol? i guess thats the smartest thing to do at this juncture Link to comment
Scadouche Posted March 23, 2017 Author Share Posted March 23, 2017 I just wish there was something I could build on lol without feeling completely gutted over the whole thing, but thanks for your honesty Link to comment
90_hour_sleep Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 i don't really buy the whole rebound thing. far too many examples of ''rebounds'' becoming lifelong partners. BUT...if she's venting about the ex...still feeling hurt...that's a different story. agree with the others suggesting that you're apt to get friendzoned. Link to comment
ExperiencedDad Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 If you think she's special, you should pursue her. Three months isn't much and the ex guy obviously wasn't serious. I met my now wife of 25 years when she was fresh out of a multi-year relationship with her high school sweetheart. She says I saved her. I knew she was special and I wooed her and never hid my intentions. Friend zone wasn't an option because of our attraction (sounds similar for you guys). She eventually did make a choice to be with me and cut her friendship ties with ex. I proposed not long after. Smartest move I ever made. (I presume again that you think this girl pretty special). Special girls don't just wait around.. some other goober will be smart enough to go after her if you won't. Best wishes. Link to comment
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