Did I Do The Right Thing? ('Toxic' friend)

I recently made the decision to end contact with someone I thought was my closest friend. We would argue periodically, and each time she'd treat me quite badly during the argument/immediately after it. She'd often block me, change her number, insult my personality, misrepresent me to other people, upload screenshots of my communication to social media - I have never done any of this to her. This time, I decided to change my number, as often she will call in a few days or weeks and act normal. She also doesn't treat any of her other friends this way, and it is often I who receives the worst treatment in response to arguments.

Now, I considered this person my closest friend. I don't really know anyone, and I'm having low-confidence issues at the moment so I'm struggling to meet others. I'm at uni, but I don't feel my most confident and I am really having issues with meeting new people.

I tried to call her the other day, but, when she heard my voice, she hung up. I want to call back, but I don't want to be hung up on again and the sight of an email (she doesn't have my number) telling me she doesn't want contact will hurt. Either form of rejection will kill me.

The problem is now that I don't have anyone to talk to, and I'm also trying to gain the courage to leave a relationship that I'm not really happy in. But to be honest this has just made it worse.

Have I done the right thing, by cutting this person out? She never seemed to understand that what she was doing was really hurting me and each time would just return to normal. I just don't know, anymore. I really want to speak to her but if she rejects my contact I will be really hurt, and I will feel worse.

Good you distanced yourself and blocked her. She wasn't a friend, she was a bully. Stay no contact, avoid her and delete and block her from all social media. Do not be afraid of her. Also seek out a campus councilor. Read up on bullying.

You're at uni so join some study groups as well as various clubs, activities or sports and organizations. Volunteer. You make good friends by doing good things. Be friendly, smile, say hi to people, engage in chit chat.

IShe'd often block me, change her number, insult my personality, misrepresent me to other people, upload screenshots of my communication to social media. I'm at uni, but I don't feel my most confident and I am really having issues with meeting new people.

Thanks Wiseman2, I really appreciate the reply.

Yes, the word 'bully' has often gone through my mind when thinking about her. I've put up with this behaviour for a very long time, and I'm just not willing to continue with it. I am struggling with loneliness, but the fact that I've willingly put myself here rather than return to that dynamic just shows how fed up I am of it.

She falls out with people regularly (she sends me screenshots of arguments with others) and doesn't seem to recognise that she may be the problem - that she may be problematic. I seem to be the only person who keeps going back for more. She's even insulted my appearance and my mental health, when I've often confided in her about both.

She's told me that I'm jealous of her relationships, that I'm bitter and malicious, that I'm trying to hurt her, etc etc. None of these things are true - she just hates hearing anything negative or anything that differs from her own views. I'm just so fed up of being accused of these things when all I actually want is a friend. I've gone on a bit of a rant but this has really affected me.

Agree. She's very toxic. No one wants to be near Chernobyl, right? it's damaging to your well being on an ongoing basis, cut her off.

"Being alone isn't the worst thing possible. The worst thing possible is being around people who make you feel alone"

Keep searching for people who bring positives into your life and find your smile again. It will take time but don't settle for people who treat you so badly. Widen your circle and find other interests if necessary in order to find worthwhile friends, but don't think that you have to accept these kinds of people.

Thank you to all those who replied. I spoke to her briefly since I made this post, and nothing's changed - she still blames me for her behaviour. I am in such a dark place at the moment and I really need a friend - it hurts that I'm going through this. I am struggling to get myself together, life just seems to be getting worse.

Things won't stay this way forever. University can be like that for many, it's difficult to meet people. Have you ever thought to join clubs or go to social events etc? It can help give you more opportunities to meet new people and at least get you out of the house.

Come back to ENA at anytime and post if you need advice or want someone to listen to you. Nothing is permanent and you WILL meet new people again and find a decent friend. Please don't give up hope.