possible std

Hi everyone,

This is extremely embarrassing for me to talk about and equally humiliating, but I have no one else to turn to.

I just want to preface this by saying that I get tested for stds's every 6 months. About 3 weeks before I met the individual, who I am dating now, I went to the doctor and had my routine tests done. They were all negative.

Now, when I met my boyfriend, he was adamant that he would always use condoms and that he was tested and that he was negative. He also bombarded me numerous times and kept asking me if I have been tested, etc, which I have.

After I got on my birth control, I guess I stupidly trusted him, and we started having sex sometimes without condoms.

On Monday, I started experiencing symptoms typical of a UTI. After 4 days of antibiotics and tests, the medicine did not help and the tests were negative for a UTI.

I went back today to the office and after a complete exam, I may have one of numerous bacterial infections that are common for women or I could have chlamydia or gonorrhea. She took a sample and will test me for all of this. I won't know the results for another 3 days. He is a very hard headed individual and I am 100% sure that he's not going to take responsibility for what happened if I am positive for an STD. I am 100% sure that I did not have it beforehand. I feel like he will blame me, dump me, and tell my friends what happened. Maybe I am just overreacting because I am scared, but it's kind of hard to think clearly at the moment.

Should I have a discussion with my boyfriend about what has occurred or should I just keep quiet and wait until I get my results? I was also given another set of antibiotics, but I don't know how helpful these will be.

Who cares if he denies it and dumps you??? Obviously, by deductive reasoning, he gave it to you (if you test positive).

YOU need to take a hard stance. If you test positive, lay it all out there: you were clean before him, you've only been with him, and therefore he gave it to you.

Tell him you will only remain with him if he tests and gets treatment. If he doesn't agree, YOU end things.

I won't know the results for another 3 days. He is a very hard headed individual and I am 100% sure that he's not going to take responsibility for what happened if I am positive for an STD. I am 100% sure that I did not have it beforehand. I feel like he will blame me, dump me, and tell my friends what happened. Maybe I am just overreacting because I am scared, but it's kind of hard to think clearly at the moment.

Should I have a discussion with my boyfriend about what has occurred or should I just keep quiet and wait until I get my results? I was also given another set of antibiotics, but I don't know how helpful these will be.

You are in a very, very stressful situation right now, but try not to put the cart in front of the horse. He hasn't blamed you. He hasn't dumped you. He hasn't told your friends that you have an STD. He hasn't denied responsibility. You don't have your test results yet. There's no reason for a confrontation at this point. If you test positive, well, yeah. But you're not at that point, so don't make things worse.

Should I say something now before my results?

Nope. Get your results

I am not so much concerned with him dumping me, I am more concerned with my reputation. I don't want our mutual friends to think I am dirty or an individual, who spreads diseases. I am just going over the top now because I am so stressed.

Should I say something now before my results?

Up to you. You definitely should not have sex with him in the interim. If you test positive, you should absolutely tell him.

Sorry you went through this. Yes wait for the results, then have a talk. Not a blame talk, but if he needs to be treated, he needs to know. Of course until then have no sex or condom sex only. This is a hard talk because many stds are silent and even more so in men.

should I just keep quiet and wait until I get my results? I was also given another set of antibiotics, but I don't know how helpful these will be.

I am not so much concerned with him dumping me, I am more concerned with my reputation. I don't want our mutual friends to think I am dirty or an individual, who spreads diseases. I am just going over the top now because I am so stressed.

Well, he hasn't told them anything yet, so why would you treat him as though he did? You would just be lashing out with stress.

He is a very hard headed individual and I am 100% sure that he's not going to take responsibility for what happened if I am positive for an STD

The above is a bit concerning. If that's the case why sleep it this guy in the first place?

Why get tested every 6 months if you are only with 1 person at a time? I'd stop having sex. Wait for the results to come back. If they are positive see what it is and how long it takes for something like to show up. Good luck

He is a very hard headed individual and I am 100% sure that he's not going to take responsibility for what happened if I am positive for an STD

 

The above is a bit concerning. If that's the case why sleep it this guy in the first place?

 

Why get tested every 6 months if you are only with 1 person at a time? I'd stop having sex. Wait for the results to come back. If they are positive see what it is and how long it takes for something like to show up. Good luck

I do it just to be safe. I always have even when I had sex for the 1st time. It's just something I do, so I don't compromise any future partners.

Try to not think of the worst case scenarios ( I have difficulty with it as well).

No, for now don't say anything to him until you've results.

It still might just be some type of infection that has nothing to do with std's, right? I know it's difficult to hang tight for now, but that's all you can do.

Crossing my fingers and toes that it will all be okay.

Try to not think of the worst case scenarios ( I have difficulty with it as well).

No, for now don't say anything to him until you've results.

 

It still might just be some type of infection that has nothing to do with std's, right? I know it's difficult to hang tight for now, but that's all you can do.

Crossing my fingers and toes that it will all be okay.

Thank You Sherry! I really do appreciate the kind words.

Its good that you do that. It will be alot easier to nail this down. I'd just wait it out see what it is and look at time frames. Hopefully it's cut and dry and not something that you can get from more ways then just sex. Then it gets a bit tricky. Again good luck

I am not so much concerned with him dumping me, I am more concerned with my reputation. I don't want our mutual friends to think I am dirty or an individual, who spreads diseases. I am just going over the top now because I am so stressed.

I realize we're talking about a different STI here, but almost all sexually active people will have a strain of the HPV virus at some point in their lives. I've had it. I don't consider myself a 'dirty disease spreader'. If someone thinks that of me, they can hightail their behind in a time machine back a few decades, because I'm not interested.

Both of those STIs they are testing you for are relatively easy to treat. If you have friends that would call you a dirty disease spreader, they're not your friends.

Is it possible that either of you could have had a false negative on your previous test before getting together? You each could rightfully believe you are STI-free? I'm not sure if tests are 100% accurate.

Once your results are in, ask the physician about it. For example are these stds or just random infections women get?

And if there is an std, can people be asymptomatic and not know they have it, etc.

Always keep in mind that no one (sane) spreads stds intentionally. Should something come back that the bf needs to know about and be treated for, approach with a clam clinical attitude and be well informed. If you think he cheated and it's from him, just break up. Is that one of your concerns?

I am not so much concerned with him dumping me, I am more concerned with my reputation. I don't want our mutual friends to think I am dirty or an individual, who spreads diseases. I am just going over the top now because I am so stressed.

Is it possible that either of you could have had a false negative on your previous test before getting together? You each could rightfully believe you are STI-free? I'm not sure if tests are 100% accurate.

I am not really sure to be honest. Both a urine and a blood sample was taken when I was tested. They called in 3 days and said I was fine. I waited about 4 months after the end of my last relationship to get tested.

Once your results are in, ask the physician about it. For example are these stds or just random infections women get?

And if there is an std, can people be asymptomatic and not know they have it, etc.

 

Always keep in mind that no one (sane) spreads stds intentionally. Should something come back that the bf needs to know about and be treated for, approach with a clam clinical attitude and be well informed. If you think he cheated and it's from him, just break up. Is that one of your concerns?

I mean if he cheated then there's not much I can do about that. I will just have to end things. I think before I go further with him even if I am negative, I'll ask him to get tested again.

I also think you should wait until you get the results, and then if there is an STD then discuss it with him. Sometimes it takes a while for STDs to show on tests, so he may not have known about it.

Also, something to keep in mind is that when you have unprotected sex, the PH and "friendly" bacteria we all have in there can change, which can lead to abnormal symptoms; they don't signal an STD, it's just the usual flora getting off balance. So, as difficult as it is (and I know how stressful these situations are!), try not to fret and focus on worst case scenario.

Wait to hear the results first, and then take it from there.

First off, deep breaths. You need to see the test results. So right now, tell him you aren't feeling well, stop having sex altogether. Wait for the tests to come back. If they come back negative then you need to decide if you really want to continue sleeping with someone you can't trust and who you think will toss you under the bus if confronted with lies, because that makes zero sense to me to continue even talking to someone like that.

If the tests come back positive you have two choices - a) you simply break up with him and tell him it's not working, never tell him or anyone else about the tests, and go about your merry way which I don't recommend only because it leaves him to spread it to someone else OR b) you tell your friends first he gave you something and that's why you're dumping him, because he lied to you. Then you tell him he gave you an STD, he needs to get it handled, and BTW he's dumped.

Pretty much any avenue I can see you should just dump the guy, because your reaction is one of shame and fear, not an "I need to share this with my partner," which is just a bad sign that this relationship isn't a good one to begin with.

P.S. You could also ask the doctor for your last test results, which were clean to show him, "Look, this is before I met you, I was clean, here's the proof. And these are the test results after we've slept together with unprotected sex." He may still deny, but you have proof you were clean before that, which I would have given him a copy when he first started in on you about that.

Lesson learned, get medical documents showing clean test results, never take anyone's word for it they've been tested and are clean. I had to learn that lesson the hard way myself when I was young, fortunately I only got something easily treatable, but yeah it's just something you need to do, because it's your health on the line.

If they come back negative then you need to decide if you really want to continue sleeping with someone you can't trust and who you think will toss you under the bus if confronted with lies, because that makes zero sense to me to continue even talking to someone like that.

as far as trashtalking goes...it's not the same but..iit's always the same infantile crap even highschoolers wouldn't pull. your friends can't possibly take that seriously.

*ancecdote* i have someone at work who talks trash about everyone to everyone. i knew that meant they talk the same way about me. one time i was talking to this person, and in the conversation they tried to twist a particular circumstance to make me appear bad...to my self. i thought they must not understand, and i pulled out three legal documents proving otherwise. big mistake. it upset them visibly that i can't be portrayed badly...the rage was quite intense, and this is what this person is like with anyone. i never mentioned a word about it, knowing they would talk, and anyone sane there knows they spread lies about everyone. my bestie is my coworker. several months after this incident she mentioned feeling irritated at this person's back-talking. and i said yeah i know, i have a feeling they said something about me about that situation which was wrong. i pulled out the legal documents showing bestie what i had shown this person and how they insisted the truth was opposite, and i laughed like, how frustrated can one be right. my bestie gasped, dropped what she was doing and went "omg!!! that was me, she told me that lie". it turned out on the same day, when i left after that conversation the person called my bestie over and flat out told her the lie. bestie ended the convo quickly, feeling uncomfortable being called to hear gossip, and knew from our previous conversations on the matter the statement can't be true. a few months after, other people started commenting on the bull this person spreads, and often just get up and leave a staff a meeting when they start to gossip. everyone pretty much despises them now. *end redundant he said she said anecdote*

there isn't a sane person, much less a true friend, Almira, who will turn against you because of someone's frustrated lies. not to mention Cheet is right, contracting an STI doesn't make one dirty, people would have to be really mean to conclude that you're a toxic swamp-c*nt just because you caught something.

try to not overthink it now. when you get your test results, you'll tell him, and if you have it and he's anything other than taking full responsibility wish him luck with his infectious d*ck tenants and leave. nobody normal will judge you.

Hi everyone,

This is extremely embarrassing for me to talk about and equally humiliating, but I have no one else to turn to.

I just want to preface this by saying that I get tested for stds's every 6 months. About 3 weeks before I met the individual, who I am dating now, I went to the doctor and had my routine tests done. They were all negative.

Now, when I met my boyfriend, he was adamant that he would always use condoms and that he was tested and that he was negative. He also bombarded me numerous times and kept asking me if I have been tested, etc, which I have.

After I got on my birth control, I guess I stupidly trusted him, and we started having sex sometimes without condoms.

On Monday, I started experiencing symptoms typical of a UTI. After 4 days of antibiotics and tests, the medicine did not help and the tests were negative for a UTI.

I went back today to the office and after a complete exam, I may have one of numerous bacterial infections that are common for women or I could have chlamydia or gonorrhea. She took a sample and will test me for all of this. I won't know the results for another 3 days. He is a very hard headed individual and I am 100% sure that he's not going to take responsibility for what happened if I am positive for an STD. I am 100% sure that I did not have it beforehand. I feel like he will blame me, dump me, and tell my friends what happened. Maybe I am just overreacting because I am scared, but it's kind of hard to think clearly at the moment.

Should I have a discussion with my boyfriend about what has occurred or should I just keep quiet and wait until I get my results? I was also given another set of antibiotics, but I don't know how helpful these will be.

You should NEVER take someone's word on testing! You should also always use condoms!

Wait until you get the results. It could also be a bacterial infection. Please, use condoms from now on!!!!!!

I mean if he cheated then there's not much I can do about that. I will just have to end things. I think before I go further with him even if I am negative, I'll ask him to get tested again.

How do you even know if he was tested? Did you see the results? You should have gone together to get the testing.

Don't play Russian Roulette with your life.

How do you even know if he was tested? Did you see the results? You should have gone together to get the testing.

 

Don't play Russian Roulette with your life.

Going together doesn't mean she would've seen the results. Medical law says she can't see them unless he allows it. He could lie then too.