Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20

Thread: On and off relationships... help

  1. #1
    sc1234
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    31
    Thanked
    1

    On and off relationships... help

    I've been dating this guy on and off for about 5 months now. We get into fights, end things then get back together. ( i know this isnt a healthy relationship already) but for some reason I am obsessed with him.(dont know why lol). We started talking again, but things are very different.... Before he used to talk to me 24/7 every day and would get upset if i didnt respond right away. I enjoyed the attention and could tell he really liked me. He would always ask when he would be seeing me next etc. Anywyas things this time are very different. I keep nagging asking if he really wants to get back into this because it truly feel like he doesnt... Hell msg me every couple of hours, is becoming a bit more distant but promises me he isnt. I even woke up to a txt this morning (after confonting him last night that I felt things were different) along the lines of "night babe, i dont want you to think im being cold because im not, i miss you" ........... I didnt respond, acted like i didnt care and he txted me again this morning wondering why i didnt reply. We talked for a bit and then he said "have a good day at work i have some work to do babe txt me lateR" He would NEVER leave me alone like this before... Do you think hes not interested anymore??? or trying to gain control?? It's just soo not like him. so im confused. its like as soon as I care, he doesnt, as soon as I don't care, he does. do you think maybe cause I keep asking him what's wrong/why hes being different etc that's pulling him away or is he simply not interested?

    Anwyays just looking for some advice on how to make him want me again and to gain the upper hand..
    Last edited by sc1234; 03-17-2017 at 02:29 PM.

  2. #2
    SherrySher
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2,071
    Thanked
    1788
    How old are you two? Have you met in person or is this all online?

  3. Thanks sc1234 thanked for this post
  4. #3
    sc1234
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    31
    Thanked
    1
    im 23 and hes 26.... no its long distance! we visit eachother back and fourth.

  5. #4
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,408
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16505
    Is this a LDR? How often do you see each other? What are the fights about?

    So many red flags here and the slow down in texts isn't really one of them.

    Texting 24/7 sounds exhausting, too much too soon and over-saturated and as if on a text-tether leash. Yes, nagging about 'what's wrong" when the texting isn't excessive and incessant could have been annoying.

    Just pull back, stop the relationship texts and wait until he texts you. Let things calm down.
    Quote Originally Posted by sc1234 [Register to see the link]
    I've been dating this guy on and off for about 5 months now. We get into fights, end things then get back together. Before he used to talk to me 24/7 every day and would get upset if i didnt respond right away. he said "have a good day at work i have some work to do babe txt me lateR"

  6. Thanks sc1234, lostlove76, vesper thanked for this post
  7. #5
    SherrySher
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2,071
    Thanked
    1788
    Do you think that maybe some of the fighting could be due to the distance?

  8. #6
    sc1234
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    31
    Thanked
    1
    I agree with the texting. It's just weird to me how he was text obsessive with me before ( i was never like that ) and now he has no problem saying "okay txt me later" ... Do you think something is going on?

  9. #7
    reinventmyself
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    6,105
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4201
    Often times someone's intensity is not a reflection of how special you are to them. It often has more to do with how insecure they are. It might have nothing to do with you.
    I know in the past when someone blew up my phone. . I naively thought that they must really like me. It wasn't the case. They just had low self esteem and trust issues.
    I must have as well or would have thought otherwise.

    Things that don't start well, don't end well. Do you really think there is a chance things will get better for you two?
    It looks like you've tied your self worth to whether this guy likes you or not. I'll bet if you had him, you might not actually want him.

  10. Thanks sc1234 thanked for this post
  11. #8
    sc1234
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    31
    Thanked
    1
    He is very insecure so I can see that. But what made him get confidence back though to not want to talk to me 24/7 I dont get it...........

  12. #9
    reinventmyself
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    6,105
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4201
    Quote Originally Posted by sc1234 [Register to see the link]
    He is very insecure so I can see that. But what made him get confidence back though to not want to talk to me 24/7 I dont get it...........
    who knows. . maybe he got tired of all the push and pull and decided the drama wasn't worth it.
    How come you haven't come to this conclusion before him?

  13. #10
    sc1234
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Posts
    31
    Thanked
    1
    Yes of course thats why. when were together we never fight!!!! It is definitely the long distance

  14.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Been almost two and a half months nc.
(Please fully read) So a little update on my recent breakup, I've had this girl for 4 years we loved each other. We then broke up because well I
Understanding where we are
So about a year ago she broke up with me. I was partying all the time and not really doing much with my life. Fast forward a few months and I quit
confused? help what is he doing/thinking?
hi- long story short. i had broken up with my boyfriend of a year approx 4 months ago. it hasnt really been a true break-up, where as we still
She left, came back and left again. Do we still have a chance after this?
Hi everyone, I am 37 and she is 25. We met at work one year ago. We work in different departments so I see her rarely if me or her don't aim to
Ex blocked me on WhatsApp and social media
So it's only been the third day into NC and he suddenly flared up and scolded me? We broke up about a month ago, and 3 days ago I texted him telling
How do you feel when you ex sleep with someone else
I came to this forum to try and find someone in a similar situation as me, and see what people thing about this situation, and there are many similar
4 years down the drain
Me and my girlfriend was together 4 years we argued we fought but always stayed together it was never as bad but most nights we would sleep without

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I didnt know this was cheating until i saw how much it hurt him
So my boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. It's been pretty close to perfect over all until last weekend. We trusted each other before this
Interview Vibes
Hello, eNA! I have posted a few times about my career search - thank you all for the help! I've been having a lot more luck lately and have four
Ex from seven years ago married
My ex from seven years got married in November 2016 he began dating this girl eight months after dumping me.hiw have I found this out? By the
❌Did i just get stood up????❌
A few weeks ago this guy and i started texting. It was a pretty instant interest right from the start, on both ends. He kept telling me how
HELP My boyfriend blocked me after an argument
Almost 3 weeks ago me and my (EX) boyfriend that ive been seeing for about a year had a huge explosive and petty fight over him being selfish/ self
My wife has zero trust in me
So we have been married for about 8 months now, everything was fine prior to marriage. From the day we got married to today, it has been a living
21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated
I'm 21 (female) and I'm dating a 28 year old. Ive had my round of men before him so I know exactly what I like during sex and he's PERFECT. But what
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •