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Thread: On and off relationships... help

  1. #1
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    On and off relationships... help

    I've been dating this guy on and off for about 5 months now. We get into fights, end things then get back together. ( i know this isnt a healthy relationship already) but for some reason I am obsessed with him.(dont know why lol). We started talking again, but things are very different.... Before he used to talk to me 24/7 every day and would get upset if i didnt respond right away. I enjoyed the attention and could tell he really liked me. He would always ask when he would be seeing me next etc. Anywyas things this time are very different. I keep nagging asking if he really wants to get back into this because it truly feel like he doesnt... Hell msg me every couple of hours, is becoming a bit more distant but promises me he isnt. I even woke up to a txt this morning (after confonting him last night that I felt things were different) along the lines of "night babe, i dont want you to think im being cold because im not, i miss you" ........... I didnt respond, acted like i didnt care and he txted me again this morning wondering why i didnt reply. We talked for a bit and then he said "have a good day at work i have some work to do babe txt me lateR" He would NEVER leave me alone like this before... Do you think hes not interested anymore??? or trying to gain control?? It's just soo not like him. so im confused. its like as soon as I care, he doesnt, as soon as I don't care, he does. do you think maybe cause I keep asking him what's wrong/why hes being different etc that's pulling him away or is he simply not interested?

    Anwyays just looking for some advice on how to make him want me again and to gain the upper hand..
    Last edited by sc1234; 03-17-2017 at 02:29 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    How old are you two? Have you met in person or is this all online?

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    im 23 and hes 26.... no its long distance! we visit eachother back and fourth.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is this a LDR? How often do you see each other? What are the fights about?

    So many red flags here and the slow down in texts isn't really one of them.

    Texting 24/7 sounds exhausting, too much too soon and over-saturated and as if on a text-tether leash. Yes, nagging about 'what's wrong" when the texting isn't excessive and incessant could have been annoying.

    Just pull back, stop the relationship texts and wait until he texts you. Let things calm down.
    Originally Posted by sc1234
    I've been dating this guy on and off for about 5 months now. We get into fights, end things then get back together. Before he used to talk to me 24/7 every day and would get upset if i didnt respond right away. he said "have a good day at work i have some work to do babe txt me lateR"

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Do you think that maybe some of the fighting could be due to the distance?

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    I agree with the texting. It's just weird to me how he was text obsessive with me before ( i was never like that ) and now he has no problem saying "okay txt me later" ... Do you think something is going on?

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    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Often times someone's intensity is not a reflection of how special you are to them. It often has more to do with how insecure they are. It might have nothing to do with you.
    I know in the past when someone blew up my phone. . I naively thought that they must really like me. It wasn't the case. They just had low self esteem and trust issues.
    I must have as well or would have thought otherwise.

    Things that don't start well, don't end well. Do you really think there is a chance things will get better for you two?
    It looks like you've tied your self worth to whether this guy likes you or not. I'll bet if you had him, you might not actually want him.

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    He is very insecure so I can see that. But what made him get confidence back though to not want to talk to me 24/7 I dont get it...........

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    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sc1234
    He is very insecure so I can see that. But what made him get confidence back though to not want to talk to me 24/7 I dont get it...........
    who knows. . maybe he got tired of all the push and pull and decided the drama wasn't worth it.
    How come you haven't come to this conclusion before him?

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    Yes of course thats why. when were together we never fight!!!! It is definitely the long distance

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