Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 22 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 216

Thread: She became distant when her ex-husband got married. Now I'm friend zoned.

  1. #1
    cousin
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    123
    Thanked
    25

    She became distant when her ex-husband got married. Now I'm friend zoned.

    I (39/M) met her (31/F) on a dating site a month and a half ago. We've gone on several dates. I have spent the night at her place five or six times.

    During the first few weeks of dating, she was into me big time. She texted me nonstop and called me all the time. She always initiated sex. Things got physical on the second date even though she initially said she didn't want to sleep together until marriage. She comes from a very religious family. She has been divorced for two years. She and her ex have two young children together.

    Her ex-husband cheated on her and ended up marrying the woman he cheated with a couple of weeks ago. The woman I've been seeing told me that she was "really sad" about it. She even visited her sister across the country to distract herself during the wedding. She posts things about divorce on social media all of the time.

    I noticed that she has been very distant lately via texting since the trip. She actually looked like she was in a daze when I dropped her off at the airport. She only texted me once during the trip. It was the night before she was to come back. She was drunk.

    I have texted her first almost every time since she got back from her trip. The only time she texted me first was to ask me to stay over this past Saturday.

    I asked her a couple of days ago if we need to talk. She said that she doesn't see me as a "long term romantic partner." She also said she "was forcing" herself to see things about us that weren't there. She also said she wants to continue hanging out as friends but that is all. She told me I didn't do anything wrong. I asked her if she was interested in someone else, she said she doesn't want to date anyone right now. She assured me that it will be a long time before she goes back to dating anyone else.

    She is on a trip with her family and friends right now. She said that she'd like to "chat" when she gets back next week. I'm not sure if we should continue being friends or just cut her off completely.

  2. #2
    Lostinlove31
    Bronze Member Lostinlove31's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    200
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    82
    Cut her off conpletely. She is still in turmoil over the kast relationship. She is trying to cure herself instead of seeking counseling or healthy outlets

  3. Thanks Wiseman2, KantSleep, Steve3244, Vivi0476, FlashEng1 thanked for this post
  4. #3
    Hollyj
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    12,484
    Thanked
    5670
    Stop wasting your time! She will use you as a sounding board/therapist.

    I'm sorry, but she used you as a rebound. Move on.

    You can't be friends when there are feelings.

  5. Thanks Vivi0476, lostandhurt, cousin thanked for this post
  6. #4
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,428
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16627
    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like this was painful for her.

    Unfortunately she doesn't sound ready for a relationship and at least she acknowledges this openly. She's open to hookups and casual sex for a distraction, it seems.

    If she shifted from fwb to friendzone then yeah, after 6 weeks of dating just cut the cord it's not worth the drama.
    Quote Originally Posted by cousin [Register to see the link]
    a month and a half ago. We've gone on several dates. I have spent the night at her place five or six times. She said that she doesn't see me as a "long term romantic partner." She also said she wants to continue hanging out as friends but that is all.

  7. Thanks cousin thanked for this post
  8. #5
    cousin
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    123
    Thanked
    25
    I agree with you. I don't really think we can meet up as friends at this point. I thought she was past her ex-husband when she told me she had dated a few guys since the divorce. I've seen old pics on Facebook of her and guys, so I was certain she just hadn't found the right guy. I guess I was wrong.

  9. #6
    cousin
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    123
    Thanked
    25
    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseman2 [Register to see the link]
    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like this was painful for her.

    Unfortunately she doesn't sound ready for a relationship and at least she acknowledges this openly. She's open to hookups and casual sex for a distraction, it seems.

    If she shifted from fwb to friendzone then yeah, after 6 weeks of dating just cut the cord it's not worth the drama.
    I think it was probably hard for her. I just don't understand how she can go from inviting me to sleep over one night to breaking things off (via text) three days later.

  10. #7
    Blue68
    Platinum Member Blue68's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    8,742
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1243
    I really don't see any point in being friends with her. She is just hoping to lean on you for emotional support because she is clearly not over her ex-husband. It is better to cut all communication now before you fall any deeper. Besides, the "friendship" will only really work one way because it will most likely be all on her terms.

  11. Thanks Wiseman2, cousin, Sportster2005 thanked for this post
  12. #8
    cousin
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    123
    Thanked
    25
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue68 [Register to see the link]
    I really don't see any point in being friends with her. She is just hoping to lean on you for emotional support because she is clearly not over her ex-husband. It is better to cut all communication now before you fall any deeper.
    I keep thinking she will get over him now that he is married. We haven't spoken over the phone or in person about this. I feel like she will change her mind if we discuss it in person.

  13. #9
    SherrySher
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Posts
    2,792
    Thanked
    2450
    Cut this completely, there is no point in continuing anything further.
    Start new with someone else who is ready for a relationship and is not still hung up on the past.

  14. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  15. #10
    Hollyj
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    12,484
    Thanked
    5670
    Quote Originally Posted by cousin [Register to see the link]
    I think it was probably hard for her. I just don't understand how she can go from inviting me to sleep over one night to breaking things off (via text) three days later.
    If someone is not emotionally available, it's easy. She not over the ex.

  16. Thanks cousin thanked for this post
  17.  

Page 1 of 22 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
I Just Don't Get It
I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now, things seemed to be going well. He lives 2 hours from me, so we've been meeting up in the
Why can't things be easy and consistent?
I started talking to a man I knew from years ago. We didn't date, we were just acquaintances. We reconnected recently and went for coffee. We both
Did I make the right decision?
Been out on 3 dates with this woman and I noticed that in between all of those dates, she never contacted me first whether it was text or phone
First date follow-up
Hello! So I had this great first date with a girl on Friday, I felt we had chemistry and we kissed a few times. Even though the date only lasted
4 Hour Date, No Contact Since
That's how long we lingered at the coffee shop. The conversation flowed, we giggled, fair amount of eye contact. We ended up closing the place
Have you Ever ghosted on a date? What would you do?
Okay so there's this girl I have only been out on 2 dates with so far over the span of roughly like 5 weeks (with 2 of those weeks being one where
Are these unwritten rules of dating or is it just my rules?
1. Never text or call a woman on a fri or saturday night unless you are telling her you are on your way to see her 2. Don't send messages to

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
The ex that wouldn't go away
I am engaged to the woman of my dreams. After a couple dates I told everyone I was going to marry her. She told her friends the same. My only hang up
Crying
IM A 63 YEAR OLD WOMAN ,and my life has turned upside down. I cry day and night. For some damn reason I'm lost , alone and just cant figure things
SO (girl of 23) doubting our relationship, won't let go of ex
So currently going through a very complicated situation with my SO. I started seeing this girl in November of last year, while she was still with
My friend has no life...No job and currently lives at home. At nearly 30
One of my very good friends has always been the impressionable type. When I encouraged her to have stronger boundaries, to be less passive and to
Ex is getting married
Hi, I went into no contact with my ex around 14 weeks ago. I had decided that there's nothing left for me to do or say that would bring her back to
Friendless and Lonely
Hi all, I've decided to turn to an online forum for advice on a current friendship issue. I want to say thank you in advance to those who take the
Swapping childcare, she stopped responding...
Background: I struggle with intimacy and relationships in general. Coming from abuse and neglect means I've always struggled with trusting others
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •