Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: How bad are restraining orders

  1. #1
    Beastelstein
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    65

    How bad are restraining orders

    I'll preface this by saying I was very mentally unhealthy through all of this. Anyway awhile back I finally got the dream girl I wanted for 8 years until she inexplicably left me for a total ***hole.

    I had to rescue her everytime he upset her, one time she went overdosed on ativan from a situation with him. He held her dogs medication hostage, made up rumors about her sleeping with someone for money, came over several times without consent the first time involving cops. I've had an on and off relationship with her cause of this guy that wouldn't stay away.

    A month ago I had a lot of issues with my medication and after she went back to him, I was telling her I was ready to kill myself (I was severely depressed). I also got fairly mean with the man in question because of everything he's done. I tried asking her best friend for help cause she dislikes him too but she pushed all her friends away. Anyway my behavior isn't in the right I get that but I got threatened with a restraining order (apparently he can harass her regularly and it's okay). What I wanna know is what to expect from a legal standpoint.

    Note: Please don't criticize me for making mistakes. I finally have proper brain chemistry again.

  2. #2
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    4,280
    well obviously you're not allowed to go near her or get in touch because that's followed by arrest.

    think how that'll look on your record. restraing order and harrassment. you plan to be employed until retirement, right? they'll want clean records and no history of behavioral problems, harrassment, low impulse control, conflicts.

    stay on your stabilizers and in therapy and block all means of contacting either of them or their family and friends.

    have your life evolve around you. like your recovery, employment, hobbies, making friends.

  3. #3
    Jeffbobo
    Gold Member Jeffbobo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Minneapolis
    Age
    48
    Posts
    715
    Gender
    Male
    Depending on where you're at, I don't think they hand out restraining orders like candy and if violated, you'd be picked up, booked and put in jail so I'd take this very seriously if I were you.

    This whole situation is a toxic bomb. You shouid be strict no contact with her for both of your sakes independent of the restraining order. The restraint order should further hit you upside the head to enforce no contact. This means completely remove her and anything that reminds you of her from your life. Block and/or delete any way for her to contact you and any way that you can contact her.

  4. #4
    IAmFCA
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Age
    52
    Posts
    9,372
    Gender
    Female
    Restraining orders are easy to get where i live, requiring no evidence. And they are vigorously enforced.

  5. #5
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    4,280
    yeah it's quite easy to get one here too. they do ask evidence, but nothing a person would have trouble providing. neighbors or friends witnessing unwanted and disturbing visits, phone records, texts and snailmail arriving after you've asked them to stop.

    op if you are not med compliant or still figuring out a dosage and coctail that works, take group sessions or ask your couselor for help to establish rules of conduct when you're unstable to prevent such things from happening. i sympathise with the effects of an illness, but, and no judgement on my end as i say this, the illness or meds made me do it rarely holds. learn to manage your symptoms however hard. she is a risk person for you so eliminate temptation by blocking. have safe people like friends family and a support group to ride out your symptoms and talk them through so you don't act on them. have options of what you can do when you feel out of control, like a toolbox.

  6. #6
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    51
    Posts
    33,188
    Gender
    Female
    It means you have no contact with this person in any way or you get arrested and jailed.

  7. #7
    IAmFCA
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Age
    52
    Posts
    9,372
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~ [Register to see the link]
    It means you have no contact with this person in any way or you get arrested and jailed.
    Yes. I know someone who took a charge for sending his kids a merry christmas email, and that is all it said. Merry Christmas, I love you. The email was sent while he was under a restraining order, and was therefore a violation of the law. The judge upheld the charge.

  8. #8
    Beastelstein
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    65
    Quote Originally Posted by IThinkICan [Register to see the link]
    Yes. I know someone who took a charge for sending his kids a merry christmas email, and that is all it said. Merry Christmas, I love you. The email was sent while he was under a restraining order, and was therefore a violation of the law. The judge upheld the charge.
    Okay but I have no intention of contacting her, impulses and emotions be dammed. If I leave her be am I okay? I left her alone for about a month

  9. #9
    Matt3939
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    1,543
    It's not even worth it leave the situation alone. Have a clean record with anything it might help (YOU) in the future. Example getting a job that needs certain clearances.

  10. #10
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    23,145
    Gender
    Male
    Stay away from her and her people and her situation in any way, shape or form. Strict no contact and delete and block from social media.

    Take care of yourself and continue therapy. Don't worry about her, she made her choices.
    Quote Originally Posted by Beastelstein [Register to see the link]
    I've had an on and off relationship with her cause of this guy that wouldn't stay away. I was telling her I was ready to kill myself. I also got fairly mean with the man in question because of everything he's done. I got threatened with a restraining order.

    "You will not be officially notified of a restraining order until you are served. The court will not hold a 10-day hearing until it receives a return of service notifying that you have been made aware of the 10-day hearing. You cannot violate a restraining order if you have not been properly served.

    Anyone who claims to be in "imminent fear of bodily harm" can attempt to obtain a restraining order. A judge can issue a restraining order against anyone who qualifies as a family or household member. People are considered family or household members if they:

    are or were married to one another,
    are or were living together in the same household,
    are or were related by blood or marriage,
    have a child in common,
    have been dating or engaged. The court looks at the following factors when qualifying this: length of relationship, type of relationship, frequency of interaction during relationship, and time passed since termination of relationship.
    If the person who got a restraining order against you does not fall into one of the above categories, the restraining order is not legal. This is an issue to be brought up at the 10-day hearing.

    What happens if I get served?

    If you are served with a restraining order, it means that someone has gone to court and told the judge he or she is in fear of you. This initial order is valid only until the hearing. The hearing is usually 10 days after the ex parte hearing; however, if you have not been served, the court will postpone the hearing until you have been served"

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
Idk what she wants
Quick rundown.....gf of 2yrs breaks up with me now 3 months ago, she moved out. We tried being friends for a couple weeks after the breakup but after
I've been really stupid and now I'm conflicted
Right well first of all I would just like to clarify I know I'm an idiot. A big stupid idiot who has done this to herself. Myself and my now ex
Are we getting back together? Or am I still his ex or just a friend?
I don't feel like I'm loved by him like before anymore, but he is still stick around me. There is no words of love or any bf&gf-ish actions such as
Cheating?
So I'm in a serious relationship with my boyfriend but we're long distance and dont really get to meet eachother more than once a month (if we're
Is he right am I in the wrong?
Hello everyone I don't know what to do or who to turn to I feel lost and confused. I got with my ex bf in 2009 moved in together 2014 together as
So confused ... advice needed ASAP
So ... I have been seeing this guy for 2 months (I know itís not long but we have been speaking for over 2 years on & off). Everything was amazing

Featured Threads
Moving in together with my almost one year boyfriend but one big issue
Dear All, I haven't been back here for a while now. I have decided to post here instead than in the "pets" section, because I didn't want to
Back from the holidays: waiting for him to contact me
I am back form my holidays. I went away three weeks. We had two great dates before I went away. During the holidays we texted a few times, the
Should I do it?
Maybe itís because Iím such a nostalgic person, Itís going to be a full year since our breakup las January. I still think about her every f*cking day
He chose his lodgers side so I broke up with him but still love him
I just broke up with my boyfriend of one year because 4 months ago he let a friend move into his house with him she asked him ,and in turn he asked
Feeling unsure after 4 years and before marriage
Me and my fiancť are together for 4 years now, both in our mid 30s, had an engagement not long ago. We live in [B]MY [/B] apartment. I feel
Broke up with gf
So back story 4 months into the relationship. She knows about while she hasn't met my friends she knows of them. I know not much about her past. I
Girlfriend having abortion and says she needs time to herself. What do I do?
Hello, this is my first post in this forum and I am struggling and need a lot of help. 2 weeks ago my girlfriend found out she was pregnant, we are
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •