I have a guy friend, we know each other for long time because we went to same school but we never really spoke before. We started hanging around in a group setting almost a year ago. Few months ago, I started thinking that he sees me more than friends. Its the little things he did, a look, a touch. For instance, I was away for a month, and no-one knew when i would be back to city. When i got back i didnt tell anyone but his friend saw me in the street we spoke a bit. One hour later, my guy friend messaged me to ask how I am and where I am. Considering the fact that we didnt spoke for 2 weeks time and that I saw his friend an hour ago, it was obvious that his friend told him that I am back. So this was the last thing that made me think that "yes, this guy likes you more than a friend or he is into you.". I wanted to have a conversation with him to tell him that i dont see him that way. If you ask me why I wanted to tell him this, because I like another guy. And this guy is a common friend.
The problem is that after we talked he told me our friendship is ruined now. I am posting the conversation below. And my question is: If he really saw me just as a friend, why did he react like this? Why did he take it too serious?
Now I am feeling so bad. Because I feel like I ruined a friendship. But my instincts tell me that i did the right thing. And my instincts tell me that yes he liked me more than a friend.
Me: I want to clarify few things but I dont want to hurt you.
Him: Tell me
Me: Ive had a feeling for some time that you see me more than friends. Is this true? Or did i misunderstand it?
Him: I cant believe it. Lets not talk about this.
Me: Why? if there is something like this, then you should tell me.
Him: I will act as if we never had this conversation and you never told me such thing. But this will ruin our friendship and the sincerity between us. There isnt anything like you assumed. I have a lot of friends that I am as close as I am to you. And I act the same around them, I am sincere with them. But since we are having thing conversation now, there wont be such sincerity between us anymore.
Me:Look, you are such a good person, and friend, we get along so well, we can talk about anything and i am so happy to have such connection. I had a feeling that you might like me more than a friend and I wanted to clarify with you that I see you as a brother.
Him: I really didnt think you would think like this. And i have no idea what made you feel like this. I would never ruin our good friendship.
Me: Sometimes I can misinterpret things. And I ruin everything. I didnt want to talk to you about this because i ddint want to ruin our friendship. BUT if we didnt talk I would always have this doubt in my head. and I would keep distant from you. I hope i didnt break your heart.
Him: Why did you wait all this time. Why didnt you tell me before?
Me: I wanst sure, plus i waited for the right time.
Him:I dont really know what to tell you.
Me: If i dint talk with then i would never know how you feel. We are human. we can misunderstand each other sometimes. I wanted to clarify things. Now that we talked, everyting is clear. Plus, you are an understanding person, so I though I could speak to you about this.
Him: To be honest with you, after this conversation, i dont know how to treat you and how behave around you.
Me: And i didnt know you reaction would be like this. If there wasnt such thing, I expected you to laugh it off, and if you liked me I expected you to tell me yes i like you.
Him: I want to ask you a question now. What made you think that I liked you more than friends?
Me: Good question. I just had a feeling. I was never 100% sure, I just said MAYBE he likes me more than a friend. I am not feeling well now, we can talk about this in more detail later.
Him: Now i understand, its normal that you felt like this. But since you were not sure, I wish you kept it to yourself and didnt even mention it.
Me: Well but I did.
Him:I can tell you with all my honesty that there isnt anything like you assumed. And it would be better if there will never be. But i am not happy that we had this conversation. In fact I am extremely annoyed. If i liked you more than friends I would tell you. But since we had this conversation, things got worse. Most probably, I will feel awkward to be in the same environment with you.
Me:Lets talk about his later face to face.
Him: Lets not talk about this again.