Happy hour is 7 hours?

Great site and want some advice -

Girlfriend texted me to say she was going to happy hour with some work friends.

I reply - have fun.

At 9:00 pm I get a text to come join them.

Well, I'm on stand-by for work and don't feel like getting dressed to go out at 9:00 pm on a work night.

At 10:00 pm I get a text - they are all going to her house for a nightcap.

I wasn't invited and didn't respond. This seemed out of character for her, she is a terrorist about her sleep and bedtime.

She lives a block away. So on my way to work (emergency power testing) I drive by her place and see 2 guys at her door ?

I didn't think anything more and assumed there were other people there too.

Drive by on my way home @ 12:40 am and her lights are all on.

Head home and sent her an text. I ask her to text me in the morning and let me know what time the guys left.

I was fishing for an answer like - oh everyone left at 1:00 am or Julie and Ron sure got wasted, etc.

She calls me back at 4:10 am and is hammered, leaves VM and says "what are you talking about, there are no guys here".

Well, the truth comes out - she met 2 younger guys (that no longer work with her) for happy hour.

Then, she asks them to come to her place. They bring more alcohol.

I guess my question is - What had to be said or done at her place, that couldn't have been done at the restaurant?

This is someone that will make sure I'm gone by 9:30 if I'm not sleeping over.

But she invited other men over at 10:00 pm.

Is it cool to invite guys to your place and get waxed ?

I'm sure many will say I have gone off the rails about this.

Bring it. That is what I'm hoping to hear.

Thanks

Was she lying? That would be a concern, no? How long have you been dating?

Was she lying? That would be a concern, no? How long have you been dating?

Dating 4 months.

Both of us age 54

I'm sure many will say I have gone off the rails about this.

Not me. I'd be out the door, if I were you!

I'd be done - that's inconsistent with being in an exclusive relationship and she's old enough to know better.

Yeah, I would be pretty skeptical with all of this, too. Hope she comes clean!

Thanks to everyone for some feedback.

Reply to KM07970 -

"Yeah, I would be pretty skeptical with all of this, too. Hope she comes clean!"

I'm not sure how coming clean or telling the truth would change anything.

She has a character flaw. Telling the truth won't fix that.

I keep thinking - 4 hours at happy hour should be enough to catch up with your male friends.

Can't get past that.

Thanks again.

Thanks to everyone for some feedback.

 

Reply to KM07970 -

"Yeah, I would be pretty skeptical with all of this, too. Hope she comes clean!"

 

I'm not sure how coming clean or telling the truth would change anything.

She has a character flaw. Telling the truth won't fix that.

 

I keep thinking - 4 hours at happy hour should be enough to catch up with your male friends.

Can't get past that.

 

Thanks again.

Nothing to do with how long, at all. I don't think you should be controlling how many hours she spends with friends unless she is supposed to meet you at a certain time and even then, it's not about control. It's that she brought strangers back to her place and played with fire even though she is supposed to be in a committed relationship with you.

Yikes! This is a party girl. Yeah, at only 4 mos consider cutting your losses.

Dating 4 months.

Both of us age 54

Thanks for your reply and thoughts.

She said she used to work with them; so they were not strangers.

Much younger too. But I have no idea who they are or what happened.

But one last thing -

When I let her know this bothered me ............

She got aggressive and insisted she did nothing wrong and I had issues.

Even when I turned it around and asked if she would be ok with me bringing women home from happy hour.

To this day, she still thinks it was fine what she did.

So that tells me it will happen again.

And for that reason, I will no longer consider us exclusive.

The lying is what would end it for me. Period. No time for liars over here.

No, coming clean wouldn't change anything, but you seemed to really want to know the truth at the time that I responded to your post. It appears you are still hanging on a bit, despite your feeling she has a character flaw and no longer being exclusive. Given all that, none of the above will change anything.