24 year gap

Hi guys I am new here this is my first post I hope this is the right place. I am 23 and have been dating a 47 year old for about six months now. I have had very bad experiences with relationships in the past and I have never been in love before and have only had 2 serious relationships. She has been married twice and has four kids. The first three months were great and then it started to go downhill. She works way to much for her own good and she literally worked herself sick. When she is sick its very hard because she is very cranky and stubborn and doesnt want anyone near her. Since then its just been fighting all the time. But mixed in is amazing sex and great times together. The fights have all been over little petty things. The main issue is I am having trouble leaving that "honeymoon" phase. I really want this to work and to evolve into the next step but I am having so much difficulty. I have been trying to talk to her about it but she just doesn't really understand.

So. . what is your end goal exactly?

Where do you see this going 10, 20 years from now?

Just because you have had bad experiences in the past doing mean you need to settle for something that is only half as good, half the time.

If you've had bad experiences, consider the lessons that they provided you and learn some valuable lessons that make you a healthier, stronger partner for a better suited person.

Isn't that what you really want? Is so, hold out for it and believe you deserve it.

Life isn't suppose to be this hard. Being on your own in peace is always an option too.

At 23 you say you've never been in love before as if youre an old man. It's not uncommon to be your age and haven't experienced real love. You are still young!

Don't waste anymore time on this.

Jump ship, regroup. .

Do you sense this is purely sexual for her? Like a midlife crisis thing?

I am 23 and have been dating a 47 year old for about six months now. She has been married twice and has four kids. The first three months were great and then it started to go downhill. Since then its just been fighting all the time. But mixed in is amazing sex and great times together.

I overthink things and it makes it hard for me to give her a chance because I have trouble trusting people. I dont know how to get into the right mindset. And no its not just sex for her. We have talked about that before.

I overthink things and it makes it hard for me to give her a chance because I have trouble trusting people. I dont know how to get into the right mindset. And no its not just sex for her. We have talked about that before.

I learned a valuable lesson years ago. While struggling with trusting others and the endless search to find someone I could trust, I had a light bulb moment:

It doesn't have as much to do with finding someone you trust - It has much more to do with trusting yourself.

Once you get this and work on it, you learn to trust yourself to -

*make better choices

*you'll know when to walk away

*you'll be able to give your self fully to someone else

*and you'll trust that not matter what happens, you have what it takes to be ok

I just need to learn how to do that. When we don't fight she makes me happier than I've ever been and outside of me overthinking hasn't done anything that makes me not trust her

What are the fights about? What do they have to do with trust?

I just need to learn how to do that. When we don't fight she makes me happier than I've ever been and outside of me overthinking hasn't done anything that makes me not trust her

Dumb things like she put a passcode on her phone because she has "work stuff" on it. It wasn't like I go through her phone I asked her to use it because I didn't have my phone with me and I needed to look something else. It mostly has to do with her phone. She's very private and hides it when she's on it

Dumb things like she put a passcode on her phone because she has "work stuff" on it. It wasn't like I go through her phone I asked her to use it because I didn't have my phone with me and I needed to look something else. It mostly has to do with her phone. She's very private and hides it when she's on it

not ok. .You can't have access to her phone. It makes you look really insecure and likely unattractive.

Has she ever done anything to cause you not to trust her?

This alone is a good reason for her not to have you use or look through her phone.

She has been married twice and has four kids.

I understand that and I realized just how bad that sounds. I look at things very black and white and have to be more open.

How old are her four kids? Do any live at home? Do spend most times at her place or yours?

I understand that and I realized just how bad that sounds. I look at things very black and white and have to be more open.

I think you're trying to bite off a bit more than what you can chew, so to speak. Just a guess, and JMO.

6,16,23,28 the younger two live there. The six year old has a great connection with me. I spend half my time at my house half at hers

I think that you should not be bonding with the kids.

You are complaining that she works too much, etc, - she needs to support these kids - the 6 and 16 year old for sure and possibly the 23 year old's schooling. This is who she is and at her age she is not going to make major changes. My brother was in an age gap relationship similar to this and he had the sense to get out of it because he realized that once they got out into the real world - being eachother's plus ones, etc, and not sitting at home, they were worlds apart. I really think that you need to rethink this - the 23 and 28 year old cannot possibly be supportive of this. If you were 45 and wanted to date a 60 year old woman who was very young for her age I would say have at it - but not at 23.

I guess you don't want children of your own?

She is a single mother with directly being responsible for the well being of two kids and possibly the other two. Work hard and provide the best she can for her children. That's her world.

When I read this, I hear:

1, First three months were great.

2. Started to go downhill

3. Fighting all the time over petty things.

4. Amazing sex mixed in.

I get the feeling from this that you are/were a new shiny boy toy; excitement and distraction from her real life. I don't feel she really had any intention of taking this to the next level with you.

As a man in my 40's with kids, personally I'd never even consider dating someone half my age for many reasons. The main reason would be that it'd be very selfish of me to deprive that person of all the life experiences that I'd had; going through them and learning with someone their own age.

I'd step back from this situation and really think about it. Specifically with your big head.

 

 

As a man in my 40's with kids, personally I'd never even consider dating someone half my age for many reasons. The main reason would be that it'd be very selfish of me to deprive that person of all the life experiences that I'd had; going through them and learning with someone their own age.

 

Jeffbobo, I'm not saying that I agree or disagree with your thinking here, but I absolutely want to commend you for it. This level of empathy and sensitive consideration for others truly impressed me to no end. You have the right stuff! What a fine example you must set for your children. Good on you, mate.

As a mother of sons, I can't phantom having a relationship with a young man my sons age or younger no less.

I can't help but believe that her intentions are not in the right place where you are concerned.

But that's me.

We all know the proverbial man that takes a wife his own daughters age. No doubt women are entitled to too

As a mother of sons, I can't phantom having a relationship with a young man my sons age or younger no less.

I can't help but believe that her intentions are not in the right place where you are concerned.

But that's me.

We all know the proverbial man that takes a wife his own daughters age. No doubt women are entitled to too

As a mother could you actually go out with a young lad younger then your oldest son . I don't see what she could possibly even have in common with someone in their early 20's when she is kicking almost 50

Agree. Hot sex, lots of fights, 1/2 her age. Enjoy the sex for now but don't get too attached.

I get the feeling from this that you are/were a new shiny boy toy; excitement and distraction from her real life. I don't feel she really had any intention of taking this to the next level with you.

Hi guys I am new here this is my first post I hope this is the right place. I am 23 and have been dating a 47 year old for about six months now. I have had very bad experiences with relationships in the past and I have never been in love before and have only had 2 serious relationships. She has been married twice and has four kids. The first three months were great and then it started to go downhill. She works way to much for her own good and she literally worked herself sick. When she is sick its very hard because she is very cranky and stubborn and doesnt want anyone near her. Since then its just been fighting all the time. But mixed in is amazing sex and great times together. The fights have all been over little petty things. The main issue is I am having trouble leaving that "honeymoon" phase. I really want this to work and to evolve into the next step but I am having so much difficulty. I have been trying to talk to her about it but she just doesn't really understand.

I'm in a relationship with a man that's 21 years younger than me. We went through a period of arguing often after we got past the first six months. It was different than arguments with my ex because we didn't stay at odds with each other for days on end. It was like we would argue and get over it in a hour or two. A lot of that is because he is persistent and refuses to let us waste time being angry with each other. Even during the argument, the love is still there.