Lying about my age to a guy

I lied about my age to this guy that I made out with at a party when I was drunk.

I told him I was 15 almost 16 but in fact I'm 14. He was already quite uncomfortable about me being 2 and a half years younger when I told him I was almost 16 since he's technically an adult, so I don't know how he's going to react if he finds out I'm a year younger than I said.

I didn't have much of an issue lying about my age that night because I'd already lied about my age a bunch of times because I look about 17 anyway. I thought I'd never see him again and no one at that party was meant to know my real age because I went as my best friend's plus 1; she's on r than me and at a different school. Somehow we ended up adding each other on snapchat a few days after the party. We started speaking a lot. I've been to group hang outs where he's been there too, during some weeks following the party.

But last week we were at another party where we ended up making out again and almost sleeping together this time but I stopped myself knowing that if someone somehow found out he could be in a lot of trouble.

We still talk a lot and it's been a month since the first party but I think now he wants to genuinely be with me.

I don't know what to do? It wouldn't feel right if I started a relationship with him or had sex with him because I'd be stressing about my age way too much.

I feel so bad for lying in the first place but I like him now, he's really sweet, isn't trying to take advantage of me, doesn't want me just for sex like most guys, we get along really well and I'm always really happy when I speak to him.

I feel like if I tell him it'll ruin everything but if I don't I could be making things a lot worse.

I'm so confused about what to do!

I don't want to hear about how I'm "too young" to be doing all this stuff or how he's technically a pedophile. I just want help

How old is the guy? He has a right to know your age, especially if not knowing could cause him to end up in prison.

I'd tell him the truth. He may stop talking to you, but that's definitely not the worst possible outcome in this scenario.

If he likes you and isn't just out for sex then being honest with him won't matter. How old is he? 18?

You should tell him the truth. You are not 16, you are young and only 14. Not fair for him. You could be getting him in a lot of trouble.

If you like him, why are you lying to him? That's very selfish of you.

Hopefully, he has half a brain and does his own due diligence about your age and background before getting more involved with you.

He's 18. I know it could be a lot worse but I've met someone that I can be so comfortable and be myself around.

He's 18. I know it could be a lot worse but I've met someone that I can be so comfortable and be myself around.

You're not being yourself if you're lying about your age.

He's 18. I know it could be a lot worse but I've met someone that I can be so comfortable and be myself around.

Your setting him up for big trouble. You should tell him the truth tonight.

I'm still scared that he'll cut off all contact or that he'll feel like because of my lying

I know but I'm just scared of the outcome

But he is allowed to cut contact. You are a minor. He is too old for you.

So you'd rather keep lying?

He will eventually find out. Maybe when your parents have him arrested for sexual contact with a minor.

Why do that to him?

If you really like him, don't do him like that.

I know it's incredibly selfish but I sort of just blurted it out without thinking, when I first met him I thought he was about 16 because he looks it. He knows a lot about me except for the real year I was born

Depending on where you live, OP, you can also get yourself in a tight spot having deliberately concealed your age and practiced underage drinking (you are putting your hosts in significant risk for your behavior, as well) and other behaviors legally impermissible to a minor.

Please leave this man alone. What you've already done is bad/risky enough - you are now purposefully and inexcusably setting this adult up for utter ruination.

I know but I'm just scared of the outcome

You have to face consequences sooner or later. Don't be a coward.

You need to tell him. Period.

Unless you want the police to tell him when he gets arrested for sexual contact with a minor. I bet he'd be pretty mad if that happened.

But he is allowed to cut contact. You are a minor. He is too old for you.

I know age wise he seems too old but it's only 3 and a half years

Sophia, what kind of advice are you looking for. I think you know deep down, that when he finds out he will stop talking to you. It's only for his own safety that he should stop talking to you.

I have no idea what *all* the criminal ramifications are in your location, but you may be risking calamitous financial repercussions, to boot, for your family or caregivers with civil litigation at any point an affair is discovered by this adult and his family.

Why do this to everyone, including yourself?

Eventually he'll find out and being a liar is worse than being 14. Level with him, he'll respect you for being so mature.

He's 18. I know it could be a lot worse but I've met someone that I can be so comfortable and be myself around.

So you'd rather keep lying?

 

He will eventually find out. Maybe when your parents have him arrested for sexual contact with a minor.

 

Why do that to him?

 

If you really like him, don't do him like that.

I understand what you mean. My parents would never find out but you do have a point that if I like him I shouldn't do that to him

being a liar is worse than being 14.

yessssssssssssssssssss

I know age wise he seems too old but it's only 3 and a half years

Please tell your parents a/o a trusted adult what you are plotting.

You don't have to sort this out alone. There are professionals in place who will sincerely listen to you and help you to best help yourself, privately and safely.

I understand what you mean. My parents would never find out but you do have a point that if I like him I shouldn't do that to him

You get pregnant. You get an STI/STD (from anyone, not only him). Your latest frenemy is on a downward swing.

The chances of this coming out are quite extremely high.

The chances of what you are doing *ruining* a man's *life* are astronomical.

Please tell your parents a/o a trusted adult what you are plotting.

 

You don't have to sort this out alone. There are professionals in place who will sincerely listen to you and help you to best help yourself, privately and safely.

I feel like you're missing the point. It's not about underage drinking or how anything else I've done will affect my family because it won't. I'm not "plotting" anything that anyone needs to stress about, I'm simply trying to figure out how to sort this whole thing out with the least amount of repercussions