My co-worker was pushing invitations to her church, was my response rude?

My co worker that I'm friendly with would always invite me to her church and church related fuctions. She got really pushy and told me not to disappoint God one time when I told her that I pick up shifts every Sunday ... and that it is for my own good --church is more important and God should be my priority .she would also invite me to bible studies on week nights as well whenever I run into her at work.At some point she told me that she will keep bugging me until I come to her church but I just shrugged it off as a joke at that time

She always hand me religious pamphlets at work and forwarding religious images, videos and Christian inspirational quotes on WhatsApp

In addition, whenever I bring up a problem in our personal conversation at work, she would always say, don't worry, Jesus will get you though this then she would preach about God and how important he is in our lives.

I never really had any interest until one day I decided to just see how it is like since my other co worker who also attended the same church has recommended I attend their church. They all promised that I will enjoy it

This was a big mistake because she started expecting to commit to her start attending her church as she would constantly invite me.I had no intention of going back,so I always had excuses such as work etc.I was hoping she would drop it but she is always sending me a reminder to attend church every Sunday and church related functions.Few days ago, I decided that I should be straight with her so I sent a message that reads

"Hey,To tell you the truth I'm not a church person at all.I only came with you that one time just to see how it is and I had nothing to do so I figure out why not.Needlessly to say,I was bored out of my mind the whole service .I have zero interest in church. I never had any intentions of start going regularly. If it was something I was truly interested in, I would already been going on my own or at least volunteer to come along .You wouldn't have to drag me or keep reminding me.I'm a grown women who can make her own choices you know. Please don't invite me to church anymore.thanks

she responded the next day and say

You didn't have to be so rude.I thought I was just being a good friend

"Noted: Jesus still loves you, church or not.Have a blesses new week in Jesus name.Amen. I wish you the best and hope someday you will be convinced.

I responded and apologized .I let her know that I like her as person and not to take my unwillingness to attend her church as an insult to her. I hope will can still be cordial towards one another when our path cross. She never responded to my last message. My only concern is that we work for the same company but we don't directly work together all the time since I'm part time and she often has opposite shifts from mine..but every now and then we directly work the same shifts.I'm only staying with the same company for few months until I pass my probation at my new job(leaving for unrelated reasons)

I think you handled it as well as you could. I would be livid if someone kept pushing their religion on me. Does it matter if it's awkward? You are changing jobs soon. Just hang in there.

Stop talking to her, and if she tries pushing it onto yu again, tell her to bugger off.

Yes you were sort of rude but in my opinion she needed to hear it whether she liked it or not. I am the least religious person you will likely ever meet and people like her would bring out the worst in me and I'd end up saying much the same as you. Since you dont often see her, try not to dwell on it. When you do run into her say hello and keep going. Dont give her a chance to jump on you again about going to church. Church is such a personal thing to those who attend and often times they just dont get it when others who dont go aren't interested. They think everyone wants and needs to go to church and you cant convince them they are wrong.

She doesn't care about your friendship, she cares about evangelising and selling her church. I'd keep contact to a minimum.

I think she's rude using the workplace to increase her church's ranks. I think your response was way, way over the top, though. And this is coming from a non-believer who has no intention of ever stepping into a church again. Especially considering you prefaced your rebuke with excuses you can't go instead of a flat out, "not interested," I don't think she merited something that harsh.

It sounds to me like you wanted to be polite, but she pushed you into a corner. If you had tried to merely hint about her pushiness, she might not have gotten the message.

You have as much right to speak your truth as she does. If anyone was rude in this situation, I'd have to say it was her.

People who do things like this rely on your politeness and conforming to social rules and boundaries- meanwhile they overstep them.

It's good that you worry about hurting people. But you are being recruited by a religious group. Healthy religious groups generally don't recruit.

A firm no thank you is best. Don't let her hide her recruitment agenda behind 'she was only being a good person'. Distance yourself from these aggressive religious recruiters.

Is this allowed at your workplace? always hand me religious pamphlets at work and forwarding religious images

I think she's rude using the workplace to increase her church's ranks. I think your response was way, way over the top, though. And this is coming from a non-believer who has no intention of ever stepping into a church again. Especially considering you prefaced your rebuke with excuses you can't go instead of a flat out, "not interested," I don't think she merited something that harsh.

Atheist here...and yeah, totally over the top.

She was incredibly disrespectful badgering you to join her church though- she crossed a line. When you get invited to church with someone, keep in mind that they're trying to help you...so decline politely but candidly...I have some very religious family members who used to try to preach to me...but don't anymore because I laid out clear boundaries. I said something like, "I respect your religion and your right to go to church, but it's not something I'm interested in at all. But have fun at church on Sunday."

I'm not certain if you're response was rude or firmly worded, but I think that, given the context you sketched, you were more diplomatic than I might have been.

Good luck!

Yes you were rude, but only because you waited so long to send her that message. That should have been made clear early on. Radicals must be responded to in kind.

I will say as a believer I have no interest in having a religious discussions with those people who also have no interest . I know others can be far more Evangelical .

Personally I prefer to have religious discussions with those within my own religion .

She wasn't just being friendly and inviting you along, she was actively bullying you to go. In that respect, your response was harsh, but very much warranted and appropriate. When someone pushes you to the extreme that she was pushing you, you have no choice but to take the gloves off to get your message across to them. You have to meet their intensity with equal intensity, otherwise, they will continue to push and bully you.

Well people, if you think she was harsh - hate to think what you would do if you got a response from me!

Well people, if you think she was harsh - hate to think what you would do if you got a response from me!

Laugh?......

What kind of business are you in anyhow? Unless it's the same lady, you posted before about a coworker trying to push her Avon sales or whatever on you. If you're gonna stay at this business, you've really gotta start being politely assertive and sooner than later. Letting it fester until you're abrasive isn't going to do you any favors, especially if you're responding like that in writing.

A firm no thank you is best. Don't let her hide her recruitment agenda behind 'she was only being a good person'. Distance yourself from these aggressive religious recruiters.

 

Is this allowed at your workplace?

 

I'm not sure if it's allowed but I know solicitation isn't so I'm sure if I were to bring it to HR attention she would most likely get into trouble

What kind of business are you in anyhow? Unless it's the same lady, you posted before about a coworker trying to push her Avon sales or whatever on you. If you're gonna stay at this business, you've really gotta start being politely assertive and sooner than later. Letting it fester until you're abrasive isn't going to do you any favors, especially if you're responding like that in writing.

I work in food service in a retirement home and No this is a different lady.As far as the other lady who was pushing a sale on me,I simply told her that I'm not meeting her unless she tells me what is so that way I can decline if I'm not interested. and she left me alone when she realized that it was futile

What kind of business are you in anyhow? Unless it's the same lady, you posted before about a coworker trying to push her Avon sales or whatever on you. If you're gonna stay at this business, you've really gotta start being politely assertive and sooner than later. Letting it fester until you're abrasive isn't going to do you any favors, especially if you're responding like that in writing.

Have to agree with this too. When you are making excuses rather than just firmly and quickly declining the invitation, some people will get the hint, but others absolutely will not. What you are actually telling them is "maybe" and a "maybe" can be turned into a "yes", so they won't leave you be.

In the future nip it in the bud right away. "Thank you so much for the invitation and for thinking of me. Really appreciate that, however this is just not my cup of tea, so I'll have to decline, but really thank you so much for asking me." Or however you want to sugarcoat it. Still your first response needs to be a firm no, not a maybe.

Agree that her behaviour was inappropriate but your message was way over the top. You didn't need to go into detail of what you thought about her religion and how much you were bored by it, I imagine it would be offensive to someone who believes in it. Imagine getting a message from her telling you what she thought about non-believers, eg if she tells you she thinks they are going to hell, wouldn't you find it offensive?

A simple "I'm not interested and please don't invite me anymore" would've sufficed.

What happened is you held it in for too long, failed to enforce your boundaries and therefore built up resentment for her and offloaded in that message.

Have to agree with this too. When you are making excuses rather than just firmly and quickly declining the invitation, some people will get the hint, but others absolutely will not. What you are actually telling them is "maybe" and a "maybe" can be turned into a "yes", so they won't leave you be.

 

In the future nip it in the bud right away. "Thank you so much for the invitation and for thinking of me. Really appreciate that, however this is just not my cup of tea, so I'll have to decline, but really thank you so much for asking me." Or however you want to sugarcoat it. Still your first response needs to be a firm no, not a maybe.

Yes In hind sight,I realized that I might have lead her on .I just didn't expect her to be persistence or expect me to commit to her church.I assumed it was just a one time invitation.I thought she would drop it when I had failed to follow up to her church invitations couple times. Even whenever I would ignore her messages, she would ask me on why I didn't return her messages the next time we work together...putting me in an awkward position .I feel like I was driven over the edge to be as brutally blunt as I can so she can leave me alone

Do it. It creates a hostile discriminatory work environment. People go to work to make a living not be harassed buy these type of people. If they want to recruit people they shouldn't be doing it on company time.

I'm not sure if it's allowed but I know solicitation isn't so I'm sure if I were to bring it to HR attention she would most likely get into trouble

Yes. Tell HR she's a bible basher. Not cool.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are being targeted by spiritual recruitment. Her behaviour is not normal, and your normal level of politeness and the vibes you were giving would be accepted by most normal people.

Yes you could have been a bit clearer had you spotted her deal sooner.

You live, you learn. You won't make the same mistake again.