Lied to for 6 years

I met this guy online 6 years ago on a computers website

3-4 years into the relationship he calls me out of the blue crying and tells me he's been lying about where he lives, what he looks like and his age (I had a feeling all along) he said he would always blame me (which is true) but it was actually him who had the problem. he asked me to stay and said he really loves me I stayed ofc because I loved him back and thought we're finally going to get some where..he gave me his real number but he wouldn't show me what he looks like...kept making up excuses

Flash forward to today 6 years into the relationship:

About a month ago he sends me a snapchat of a fit muscular guy claiming to be him..if u know snapchat u know u can't upload a photo it has to be taken live, so I believed him...a few weeks after he sends me a pic of some dessert he was having. I realized that the dessert was on someones lap and that lap did not look proportionate to the pics I was sent earlier so I confronted him..when I did he said he would send me another snapchat to prove it right there and then so he did and this time I took a screenshot of it. Next day I find the pic on google. He printed it and turned it upside-down and took a snapshot. When confronted he said "you can't take a joke?" I told his he was a sociopath and he blocked me a few hours later he unblocked me and again said I can't take a joke.

now he's ignoring me calling me ugly pathetic stupid lazy ETC calling me obsessive (Coz I text a lot) asking me to leave him alone and to never message him again and saying "I left you, you didn't leave me".... but he hasn't blocked me..

I am so hurt and so confused..is he so insecure about himself that he would throw our entire relationship away rather than face the truth? or did he never care to begin with

So,....is six years on the computer and never meeting a "relationship" these days? I must be terribly old fashioned, but it sounds like you are being catfished or are chatting with a very married or very insecure man with things to hide. I would stop communciating with him, honestly.

Sorry to this happened. It sounds like he was catfishing you but wants you to feel sorry for him? You are right, he's a sociopath. And he's abusive. Block and delete him from all messaging and social media asap.

3-4 years into the relationship he calls me out of the blue crying and tells me he's been lying about where he lives, what he looks like and his age. I told his he was a sociopath he's ignoring me calling me ugly pathetic stupid lazy.

I have snapchat and there's a new update now where you can actually post photos from your gallery, so he can easily save a picture from google and send it to you.

Snapchat had this option for a few months.

I would ditch this guy since he is obviously lying about his life and his appearance.

If you prefer meeting someone online then try some dating website like Tinder, okcupid, or plenty of fish. You have to verify your fb account to have Tinder, okcupid and plenty of fish monitors their accounts a lot, so fake users tend to be deleted if they get reported enough times.

You have a better chance of meeting someone real on there then continuing to pursue this fake relationship.

Best of luck.

.. after he sends me a pic of some dessert he was having. I realized that the dessert was on someones lap and that lap did not look proportionate to the pics I was sent earlier so I confronted him..when I did he said he would send me another snapchat to prove it right there and then so he did and this time I took a screenshot of it. Next day I find the pic on google.

 

 

 

 

 

Aren't you clever! I wish I had your intuition and skills of deduction. I hope you are giving yourself credit for your determination to be your own advocate and refusing to be stifled in your efforts to get to the truth.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I agree with the others that this bloke's most likely a catfish. Given the length of time, the energy and effort he's expended to fool you and conceal his true self, I personally suspect that there is something quite wrong with him, a personality disturbance of a significant and cautionary kind.

You are pondering if anything he said was real with regard to his feelings - my impression is that no, healthy and functional people do not engage in this behavior, typically, and I can't imagine they'd do it after getting caught once/coming clean already, replete with waterworks and avowls to never be duplicitous about this again. I specify because I do not believe that, if he didn't care, it is in any way a reflection on you. Rather, this strikes me as the sort of person who can't or won't authentically care about anyone.

In other words, FWIW, I think this is a definitive case of it's really *not* you, it's all him.

I'm so glad that you are moving away from him and I hope you make the break permanently. I believe that his ineffectual raging and juvenile temper tantrums in response to his own trespasses may indicate that he is only going to grow nastier and more abusive in his interactions with you.

I wish you the best of luck.

I have since blocked him completely but I just can't believe everything was fake why would he do that?? he got no money from me no sex no nude pics..NOTHING!

What relationship? You haven't met or even seen one another. You're living in fantasyland.

Why are haven't you tried to meet someone that you can actually meet up with? What do you get from this? Why haven't you blocked. This is unhealthy.

Please seek counseling.

I have since blocked him completely but I just can't believe everything was fake why would he do that?? he got no money from me no sex no nude pics..NOTHING!

You should be questioning why YOU would waste six years of your life!

I have blocked him now and we met when I was 16...basically a child what did I know back then...I thought this was it the love of my life, talking on the phone for hours, joking around having debates honestly love can DEF be blind sometimes we're too excited or too "in love" that we give excuses to everything and completely over look red flags

You are not a child now.

The lies and strangeness of this whole thing is over-the-top. If you loved one another, why didn't you meet up?

You are not a child now.

 

The lies and strangeness of this whole thing is over-the-top. If you loved one another, why didn't you meet up?

I wanted to meet up he never did...always hiding from me. I really think this was all a game to him now but my mind can't get over the length of this "game" its making me sick to my stomach

I'm sorry. It's so upsetting to be left with such enormously bizarre and incongruous questions. I understand your frustration and dismay.

I wish I had something more substantial to say than this - but I do hope it might help to consider it in this light - not only do I suspect this chap isn't capable of emotions and feelings as healthy, functional people know them - but I presume he pulled this off by living in some alternate reality than healthy and functional people do.

That being said, I don't think that he *can* answer your (very deserved and reasonable) questions, because whatever he believes that allows him to treat another person this way is more than likely going to lock him in his warped perspective. I don't know that he can relate in any productive manner. I truly don't think that he's functioning in a fashion in which he can.

Hang in, mate. It really *will* get better.

Please get some counseling.

This should have been done a month in. Didn't you think that it was off that you could never Skype one another? Also, didn't you think it odd that someone who professes to love you doesn't want to meet up with you? Also, why didn't you finally dump him when you knew he had lied about his location?

After you get some long=term counseling, look for someone local, so that you can actually see and touch them.

I strongly suggest that you also look at baggagereclaim.com as you do not have the ability to see obvious red flags, or act upon them.

I wanted to meet up he never did...always hiding from me. I really think this was all a game to him now but my mind can't get over the length of this "game" its making me sick to my stomach

 

I bet he was married or living with someone. Or maybe he is a she! How about you look for someone near where you live so you can actually see and talk to them and go places and do things with them, like in a normal relationship!

"Or maybe he is a she!" LOL

OP, come on now.

Six years, you have never met the man, and you claim he's the love of your life? That isn't just overlooking red flags - that's living a complete fantasy.

Don't do this to yourself again. Get out there in the real world and date real guys. You have no idea who you've been talking to all this time. I think the reality would probably shock you. There is reason this person kept themselves hidden so long. It might be better if you don't discover what that is, and focus on living your life in real-time, offline.

 

I bet he was married or living with someone. Or maybe he is a she! How about you look for someone near where you live so you can actually see and talk to them and go places and do things with them, like in a normal relationship!

That was my first thought.

Or a dude who is old enough to be a grandpa, with a wife. Or an ex-con. Or Pee Wee Herman. Heaven only knows.

OP, I'm very sorry you are going thru this, but as others have suggested you may want to seek counseling to get over this.

Six years is a very long time invested, and while I can't guarantee what is going on here, I am 100% certain this guy is not who he says he is. He's either older, heavier, married, or possibly an antelope with a computer out in the jungle. No matter what, cut all contact and try to move on. You deserve better and should respect yourself more than to allow this person to continue using you for whatever game they're playing.

I met this guy online 6 years ago on a computers website

 

3-4 years into the relationship he calls me out of the blue crying and tells me he's been lying about where he lives, what he looks like and his age (I had a feeling all along) he said he would always blame me (which is true) but it was actually him who had the problem. he asked me to stay and said he really loves me I stayed ofc because I loved him back and thought we're finally going to get some where..he gave me his real number but he wouldn't show me what he looks like...kept making up excuses

 

Flash forward to today 6 years into the relationship:

 

About a month ago he sends me a snapchat of a fit muscular guy claiming to be him..if u know snapchat u know u can't upload a photo it has to be taken live, so I believed him...a few weeks after he sends me a pic of some dessert he was having. I realized that the dessert was on someones lap and that lap did not look proportionate to the pics I was sent earlier so I confronted him..when I did he said he would send me another snapchat to prove it right there and then so he did and this time I took a screenshot of it. Next day I find the pic on google. He printed it and turned it upside-down and took a snapshot. When confronted he said "you can't take a joke?" I told his he was a sociopath and he blocked me a few hours later he unblocked me and again said I can't take a joke.

 

now he's ignoring me calling me ugly pathetic stupid lazy ETC calling me obsessive (Coz I text a lot) asking me to leave him alone and to never message him again and saying "I left you, you didn't leave me".... but he hasn't blocked me..

 

I am so hurt and so confused..is he so insecure about himself that he would throw our entire relationship away rather than face the truth? or did he never care to begin with

Umm... you CAN upload photos on Snapchat now. And have been able to for a while. So I wouldn't use that as a yardstick of honesty.

Do you really want to be with someone who can't even show you the real them? After 6 years, you should have seen SOMETHING honest.

I met this guy online 6 years ago on a computers website

 

3-4 years into the relationship he calls me out of the blue crying and tells me he's been lying about where he lives, what he looks like and his age (I had a feeling all along) he said he would always blame me (which is true) but it was actually him who had the problem. he asked me to stay and said he really loves me I stayed ofc because I loved him back and thought we're finally going to get some where..he gave me his real number but he wouldn't show me what he looks like...kept making up excuses

 

Flash forward to today 6 years into the relationship:

 

About a month ago he sends me a snapchat of a fit muscular guy claiming to be him..if u know snapchat u know u can't upload a photo it has to be taken live, so I believed him...a few weeks after he sends me a pic of some dessert he was having. I realized that the dessert was on someones lap and that lap did not look proportionate to the pics I was sent earlier so I confronted him..when I did he said he would send me another snapchat to prove it right there and then so he did and this time I took a screenshot of it. Next day I find the pic on google. He printed it and turned it upside-down and took a snapshot. When confronted he said "you can't take a joke?" I told his he was a sociopath and he blocked me a few hours later he unblocked me and again said I can't take a joke.

 

now he's ignoring me calling me ugly pathetic stupid lazy ETC calling me obsessive (Coz I text a lot) asking me to leave him alone and to never message him again and saying "I left you, you didn't leave me".... but he hasn't blocked me..

 

I am so hurt and so confused..is he so insecure about himself that he would throw our entire relationship away rather than face the truth? or did he never care to begin with

Im sorry but glad you only lost 6 yrs of your life not your life virginity money etc to this idiot

So,....is six years on the computer and never meeting a "relationship" these days? I must be terribly old fashioned, but it sounds like you are being catfished or are chatting with a very married or very insecure man with things to hide. I would stop communciating with him, honestly.

Sorry to this happened. It sounds like he was catfishing you but wants you to feel sorry for him? You are right, he's a sociopath. And he's abusive. Block and delete him from all messaging and social media asap.