Bad job or just my anxiety?

To start off, I always have some sort of anxiety over stuff like new jobs etc.

I was bullied during my elementary,so this could have something to to with anxiety.

I'm young still,but I changed 4 jobs allready during my final hs years and when I was studying (mostly short term jobs for few months,kind of seasonal and last one lasting over a year).

Anyway, this last job was amazing and wage and freedom I got from this job was well above average in my area. They loved me too. But had to leave this job because I was leaving my studies and hours dropped too.

So now I'm in search for new job. My first problem is that I'm really hard on myself about things I know to do (I'm constantly worried about underperforming). Even though I volunteer for one charity organisation on pretty high level stuff (I cant put it yet under my resume because it's been going on for just a few months,even though we have great numbers to show), and people involved in this always congratulate me, I still have low self esteem when it comes to work.

I tried job search counseling and it simply didnt work, counseler put me into entirely different are from what I have experience with and even though those jobs are pretty good I really dont know how to do them.

So I tried finding myself some low level jobs that would probably show me what I am good at.

Today I went on the interview. First,the guy was 30 minutes late without any explanation (I came 10 minutes earlier as I like being punctual). I tought that it was a bit unprofessional but hey,he'd be above me. It turned out he's in family relations with the owner,has no qualifications for his job and even forces his workers to do stuff that are not legal (such as cleaning tanks with toxic waste that they are not trained for , I got to know this later while contacting one of my hs friends that worked there). He continued to talk for an hour and a half about himself, how he's awesome ,how he does this,how he does that. Telling me how they dont need anybody right now but would take me etc. Job is like 45 minutes from me, is one of the low paying jobs (I'm ok with this since I know what I'm getting into and I need to start somewhere), no traveling expenses are paid for and they prefer you not to use your vacation time (even though it's perscribed by law). I'd be working extra hours almost every day and ofcourse they are not paid for.

Now, I'm invited to go and try it out on monday. But I dont really feel like it. Most of the things he said are pretty awfull, he's so full on himself and would be in charge of my department.

I'm just not sure whether this are my insecurities/anxiety talking or am I concerned for normal reasons.

Also I'd like to get a recommendation on how could I find "my thing".

Thank you

I think your anxiety here is perfectly normal. It sounds like a horrible place to work.

It may take some time for you to discover what your "thing" is. You may have to go through a few jobs. But you don't have to take bad jobs. Try to always pick places where the management respects the workers.

One of the things you have to do when looking for a job is interview your potential boss. Don't assume that just because a person is interviewing you, that he or she is "above" you, and entitled to certain privileges (like being 30 minutes late to your meeting). Don't work for people who are disrespectful, who put you in danger, or who refuse to give you the things that you are legally entitled to have.

Just about everything about this job sounds absolutely horrendous. I'd avoid it like the plague.

Having a bad boss can be very destructive to certain types of people. Like me if you're type who can get bullied, you need to be really sure about who you are working for. It's worth the effort, even if it means prolonging the search a bit longer.

And yes, you will find your thing. I find the trick is to keep tasting different jobs and you'll figure out what "fits".

I took it, I had to take it because of how things work in my country. I really dont like it, so I'm wondering,how long should I work untill I start searching for something that'd make me feel better?

Why wait? I'd start searching NOW.