My wife's affair with my friend???

I can't believe that I'm the one on here but here goes

The guy was supposed to be my "best friend". For five or six years they had an affair (even in my own bed and my son's bed). I never caught them, she finally told me about it and said she loved me and would never do it again and will never see or talk to this man again, should I forgive her, and how can I ever get my trust back, and get this knife I feel is sticking in my back out??? how long before the pain goes away, because I don't even want to live anymore, it hurts so bad.

The guy's got an a** kicking when I see him, but should I trust her again?

Yes I do think you should forgive (for YOUR sake) holding onto anger and pain will only hurt you in the end. But should you trust her again? NO...flat out no. This is someone who has repeatidly chose to do something horrible behind your back with someone that was close to you. This person betrayed you in the worst way possible. She did not care about your feelings and she did not care that she was destroying your relationship with this man or was full out cheating and lying.

People are human, they make mistakes but this wasn't a mistake, after the first time, she was willingly choosing to mess you over and to do things to ruin your life.

Just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean they should be allowed back in your life.

You need to be on your own and to heal, even get counselling if needed to heal, but this woman has proven herself to be more than untrustworthy.

And yes, I know there are those rare couples that someone cheats and they still work things out, but it's incredibly rare. Once a cheater always a cheater and it's sadly true. It's normally only a matter of time.

You know what else makes this cheating incident far worse? If someone cheated once and made a serious mistake and it was with a random person, well possibly there's a chance to work past it. But she chose your best friend and carried it on for years....there is no fixing that.

I hope you remember as well that pain passes, situations change, as bad as it feels now, it won't stay this way forever. You CAN find your way out of this and onto something better and happier. It's only a temporary situation and you can heal from it and move forward and one day find someone who loves your properly and not like this.

Firstly, Im so sorry your going through that. you deserve love and loyalty. marriage is sacred, special, so beautiful...and she really betrayed it. please don't let this betrayal change how you act in marriage, or love, any kind of passion. stay of good character even in the worst of times, even when its hardest.

The guy was supposed to be my "best friend". For five or six years they had an affair (even in my own bed and my son's bed).

she finally told me about it and said she loved me and would never do it again

should I forgive her, and how can I ever get my trust back, ?

Cheated on you with your best friend for 5-6 years and says she loves you?? Is she for real? Don't kid yourself, This woman doesn't love you at all. I highly doubt you'll ever be able to trust her again (rightly so).

The guy's got an a** kicking when I see him,

Not only this guy, but hopefully your wife too. I would kick her butt to the curb so hard she won't know what hit her.

Sorry this happened to you. You deserve better.

Cheated on you with your best friend for 5-6 years and says she loves you?? Is she for real? Don't kid yourself, This woman doesn't love you at all. I highly doubt you'll ever be able to trust her again (rightly so).

 

 

Not only this guy, but hopefully your wife too. I would kick her butt to the curb so hard she won't know what hit her.

 

Sorry this happened to you. You deserve better.

I can't find imagine what he will try to say to me when I see him.

TBH I can't imagine the judge or jury sympathizing for either for them if I assaulted them.

you shouldn't let him even see you...dont cause drama or put yourself in a situation where they can get a break or get sympathy or anything from you. screw them, let them sweat and focus on you and your family

Wow dude, 6 years is a long time! Somebody that loves you wouldnt be able to do it for 6 years.

Btw dont beat your "friend" up because it'd be a whole lot of trouble for you, both if you decide to divorce and even if you stay together.

But, nice revenge as in taking him camping and 'forgetting" him there or telling his wife wouldnt be bad.

As for her,be pleasant to her, pack her things when she's out and call somebody (like her parents) to come and pick her up when she's home.

TBH I can't imagine the judge or jury sympathizing for either for them if I assaulted them.

Whatever you do, do NOT go that route! You have a child/ren to think about. Either look into marriage counselling or serve her with divorce papers.

It doesn't work that way. The way that would work is you go to jail in a cell with bubba and they have sex in your comfy bed. Then she divorces you in absentia and gets everything.

Really, see an attorney. A ferocious one. Let the attorney turn her into mincemeat. The pen is mightier than the sword, remember that and keep repeating it to yourself.

Start now to get the divorce going. Get her out of the house, file for custody of your kids.

I can't imagine the judge or jury sympathizing for either for them if I assaulted them.

Ok- I completely agree with Wiseman. Don't even talk to her. Talk to a divorce attorney first. Don't talk to your best friend, either. All of this could be used in court against you. Hire an attorney who knows what tf he's doing. Cause boy, you should win this one. Dont talk to her or him! Dont

I can't believe that I'm the one on here but here goes

 

The guy was supposed to be my "best friend". For five or six years they had an affair (even in my own bed and my son's bed). I never caught them, she finally told me about it and said she loved me and would never do it again and will never see or talk to this man again, should I forgive her, and how can I ever get my trust back, and get this knife I feel is sticking in my back out??? how long before the pain goes away, because I don't even want to live anymore, it hurts so bad.

The guy's got an a** kicking when I see him, but should I trust her again?

Sorry, I hit "Thanks" by accident.

What happened is just awful, a double betrayal. I'm very sorry it happened to you.

I have no idea what you should do next, but I can tell you that I have a friend who apparently cheated on her husband for TEN YEARS. He found out, and they worked through it. They've been together for 20 years now. I don't know what they did. Their marriage is far from perfect, but it works for them. People do work through it.

You think I can really win????

I can't help but wonder if he's bragging to everyone about what he did. I bet he has a swollen head too.

I don't know if anyone 'wins' in this situation.

Exactly, there is no "winning" in this situation. They did not "win" no one will win. It's two people who caused a lot of pain in this world and you who needs to find your strength and raise above it and heal, and finally, move forward.

In my humble opinion, we only win in this life by not doing any harm to anyone or anything and being the best versions of ourselves that we can be. Don't let this break you, you CAN move forward and not let them bring you down.