Been on mat leave, feeling pressured to go to a staff appreciation event

Hi everyone,

I have been worrying myself sick about going to my companies staff appreciation event. It is tomorow evening.

My mat leave is soon coming to an end, I go back to work March 16th. I have some issues with social anxiety. Even more, I found out a few weeks ago my position is no longer there. My prior manager took over that role when a new manager replaced her. My company did offer me another position, no longer in the accounting dept where I used to work. But never the less a comparable position. I just feel shy and even a little unliked. I do often see myself as misunderstood. If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom, I would be greatful.

Thankyou..

I think being pressured to go means they like you.

In my experience, an employee self exiling themselves is always less liked because those bonds aren't there. If you have the energy and resources to go, I think it would be good for both your career and your work relationships

Thank you. I do agree with you. I did say I will go. I wish so much to have more strength. I worry about things like where will I sit a who will I talk to. My department previously was just me and my manager. Doesnt help that I am shy with ++anxiety. My husband is coming with me. I wish I could somehow get rid of my emotional weakness!

Go for 45 minutes with the excuse that you need to get home to the babysitter, promise yourself you will talk to 3 people who are there and then you can leave.

Not a bad idea. Goal being to set up things I will strive to accomplish. If things are not going well, I will consider to go after the dinner.

I think what Batya said is good. Don't get too worried and you'll do great.

I am so thankful for this forum. Thank you both. 😊

I am so thankful for this forum. Thank you both. 😊

It will be ok. I get it -and it must be even harder as a new mom. But yes you have to go and yes you don't have to stay long. You can do this.

I find the anticipation is worse than the actual event. I'm introverted and get socially anxious as well, but it's getting better the older I get. The only way to get rid of it is get to know them to the point where you feel comfortable around them. You spend 40 hours a day with these people so you might as well make the effort to feel comfortable around them.

Most people are too self involved to be too worried about you. And they probably don't dislike you. 😁

Start with small goals as Batya suggests.

Definitely go!

I realize that after such a long leave of absence why you would feel like this, but it genuinely seems like they want you there considering they offered you a new position and are pressuring you into coming for a social event!

You're just overthinking it, Go and have some fun

Hi everyone,

 

I have been worrying myself sick about going to my companies staff appreciation event. It is tomorow evening.

 

My mat leave is soon coming to an end, I go back to work March 16th. I have some issues with social anxiety. Even more, I found out a few weeks ago my position is no longer there. My prior manager took over that role when a new manager replaced her. My company did offer me another position, no longer in the accounting dept where I used to work. But never the less a comparable position. I just feel shy and even a little unliked. I do often see myself as misunderstood. If anyone has any advice or words of wisdom, I would be greatful.

 

Thankyou..

For whatever it's worth, when I read this, as a third party observer, my firm impression is that you must be quite a bit liked and valued as well. They want to see you, and they offered you not only a position to keep you with them, but an comparable one (as of course they should have).

I don't say that in any way to make you feel dismissed or patted on the head patronized. I do understand that social anxiety is not something that should be taken lightly and absolutely not something to be overridden with well-meaning platitudes, just as it would be ludicrous and worse to tell someone suffering from depression to 'get over it/cheer up.'

But I hope knowing how it strikes others might offer even a little comfort.

I'm rooting for you and I hope it goes swimmingly! Congratulations on your little one