Going far too fast straight after a break up? (its long)

(This isn't something I have done before. I don't ask for advice online but I feel I could do with some.)

(Background)

I broke up with my Boyfriend of 5 years just this weekend. For a variety of reasons such as no longer feeling right, knowing myself I do not want a future with him and other more personal mental issues. I met him in my second to last year at school and we just never broke up (even though I felt a few times we should). He is also the only person I have ever dated or had feelings for (I just sort of shut them off most of the time).

I must stress I was the one to end it, and I did feel very guilty but am ultimately happier now (even if it has only been a few days).

However, in just about a month beforehand I meet a guy at a random social event and we just "clicked" (for lack of a better word).

We went from seeing each other at the event (I had briefly seen him 3 months before at the same social event but not noticed him too much) to only two weeks later seeing him about 6 or more times and talking every other day. I even nipped to say hello on Valentines day after pestering him to find out where he lived.

I did not feel I was doing much wrong as I did feel commited to my now ex, and all we did was eat or chat (what I do with most of my friends - I mainly have male friends and do this anyway). But I did start to question my relationship much more and distanced myself if only a bit (and subconsciously it seems).

My now ex picked up on this on Valentines day and after some intense and awkward and frankly guilty calls, a few days later I said I did not love him as much as I used too. So, I ended it.

(Now to the main issue)

Just the day after I broke up with my ex, I was asked to nip out to see my new friend (interest?) for some dinner as he could tell I was a bit down and I had hinted at the break up.

We spent hours talking until I really needed him to leave. We even "cuddled" (just cuddled/hugged) as I was freezing at the time.

Two days later we went out again. A whole day out and he came over afterwards as he did after the meal.

We enjoyed each others company and "chilled" all night and he just didn't leave and stayed the night. We believe we have silently agreed we are now together. But nothing much happened then a few short make-outs and the obvious he fell asleep next to me.

For someone who is literally only days out of her first ever (and very long) relationship... I know this is abnormal. This to me is not a rebround. As to me... nothing has ever happened to me like this (I have basically never thought of other guys or girls before).

So, my issue is what on Earth to do?

As I know its very very soon... to even consider anything that already happened according to most.

(Other issues)

One or two more things... he is also 7 years older than me. This is my last year of uni. He works now and finished a few years ago.

He also has a chronic illness which obviously concerns me (he is always in pain, and I feel my worrying may annoy him).

I also fear for any retaliation from my ex when he finds out (though we are not telling anyone until we are very sure this is right and happy (though I am pretty much mesmerised by him)).

(So, in short...)

Just came out a 5 year relationship, and mutual crush slept over only two days later (nothing more than kisses and sleeping next to each other) and we seem to now be dating.

I know is far too fast but no idea what to do as I am extremely happy. (and I have only ever dated one person)

Basically... any help would be appreciated.

Not necessarily going to say this is GIGS... since you were falling out of this last relationship anyways.

But, if it was long term.. can't say you'd be mentally or emotionally stable enough yet for someone new. I suggest you take it slowly... and if you 'feel' your heart's not in it, then speak up! Don't drag this guy along.

I'm sure you'll see how you really feel and think about all of this in the next month or so.

Usually, after a long term relation ends, one needs a bit of 'down time' to work on getting themselves back to good. Not just jump into another relationship again.

IF this is just a 'crush' because you've been 'bored' over this last guy, then it likely won't last.. because this is all the 'honeymoon phase'.. and that ends, eventually.

Honestly.. if you're still dealing with your 'ex'.. as you're trying to move forward, I don't think you are truly over him.. or your BU.

I second the taking it slow advice. It may or may not turn out to be a rebound. Only time will tell. His chronic illness/pain may become an issue down the line and so is your difference in life stages. Again, time will tell. However, it sounds like you have been emotionally detaching from your ex for quite a while so you may be able to avoid the rebound thing. However, the issues you mentioned may prove challenging during stressful times after the end of your "honeymoon period".

As for your ex, the kind thing to do would be to try not to shove your new relationship to his face for as long as it's possible. He doesn't need to know the timeline nor the specifics of how/when you met this guy. If you do not "advertise" it (e.g. on social media) for a couple of months it would be nice of you even though you are under no obligation to do so other than the .

You did the right thing breaking up since you were bored and before cheating. You were involved with him before you broke up not 2 days later so it's a bit longer.

Your ex can't do a thing because hopefully you are no contact and deleted and blocked him from all messaging and social media? Why and how would he retaliate?

We enjoyed each others company and "chilled" all night and he just didn't leave and stayed the night. I also fear for any retaliation from my ex when he finds out.