What is going on with this guy?! Is it a random check in!!

Hi all I need a bit of advice,

I met this guy in October 2016 and we texted briefly, he asked me out on a date, the first date went brilliantly we have a couple of other dates after that - he kept asking to see me, couldn't spend enough time with me.

Then strangely he started to make dates and cancel on me at the last minute and the last date he made just before Christmas he didn't even text me to tell me it was cancelled he just ignored my message completely. I stupidly drunk texted a few nights after that telling him I thought he was an a** for just ignoring me and if he didn't want to continue things why couldn't he just be honest and tell me, I asked him to delete my number and not get in touch again. Once I sent the message I then deleted his number and thought no more about it.

Mid January I then get a random what's app message from apologising for how he treated me, it wasn't him and that's not how he treats people, especially a girl he's keen to date but he just had a lot going on. He then asked if I would meet him for a drink so he could make it up to me, I agreed cause I thought I want to hear what he has to say, we had a great night and he arranged date number 2 for later that week.

As the week went on I was hearing less from him and sure enough the night before the date was due to take place I got a text with a list of excuses as to how his week was turning out to be so busy that he wouldn't be able to make it. He then said that he thought he had his s..t together but there was still loads going on he didn't want to invite me into it all, he needed to go quiet for the next few months to sort it all out, we could have had something special and the guy that gets to be with me had better appreciate how lucky he is and it was left at that.

Last Sunday I woke up to a what's app message from him earlier that morning, 2am say how's it going? I didn't reply because I didn't see the point, later getting another text apologising for texting so late just he'd been thinking about me a few days previous and wanted to see how I was, he's got his s**t together now and just wanted to catch up. I replied saying great to hear you're back on track and left it at that but it has been bugging me ever since!!!

I obviously like him even though he's been a total douchebag to me, but I think I'm more annoyed because he spun me what sounds like the biggest pile of crap the previous two times, I don't want him thinking he can just randomly check in with me every now and again when there's no one else to play with to see if I'm still interested!

I really want to message him and lay it all out there and call him out on it so that he doesn't just do the whole random check in thing but then if I do that he'll know it bugs me and that is just playing to him and giving the rise that he's probably expecting!! Plus it will also make me look like I'm mental...

Advice on what the best thing to do from an outsiders opinion would be greatly appreciated

Cheers in advance

Unfortunately it sounds like he's multidating flake who goes with the best opportunity. Lets face it, he doesn't have it or anything else together. No contact and full delete and block is the only cure for jerks like this.

He then asked if I would meet him for a drink so he could make it up to me, I agreed cause I thought I want to hear what he has to say, we had a great night and he arranged date number 2 for later that week. Last Sunday I woke up to a what's app message from him earlier that morning, 2am say how's it going?

He's toying with you. At 2am, he gives you a crummy text. Big effort.

No, just don't speak to him again. You win, he loses.

Why are you going to waste your time!

Sorry, but you shouldn't have even gone out on the second date, after the way he blew you off!

Block and delete. Also, heed red flags next time! Also, why do you like someone who treats you do poorly? You've only been on two dates!!!!!!

It's really simple. He loves playing head games and having his ego fed by confirming his suspicions that no matter how badly he treats you, you'll just keep coming back for more. He is over the moon happy that he is such a wonderful gent you will be putting up with and buying his BS.

Seriously no though, this is about his ego and him enjoying twisting the knife into you. No normal sane person does that. Who does that are manipulators, sociopaths, abusive personalities, narcissists, and other emotionally damaged individuals.

And you might want to take a second and look at why you're attracted to that type of person. Seriously, this guy is standing you up over and over because you're letting him. Block and delete and move on and try to reflect on what it is you think you're going to get out of remaining in contact and picking up the phone to fall for it yet again.

He does it to you because he likes having that much power over another human being. Which says something really flipped up about this guy and his general moral character, now that I think about it. You should too.

P.S. He already knows it bugs you, you've told him. But he's got a live one he can toy with, so of course he's going to keep doing so. What part of this is not a nice or good guy or decent person do you not get yet?