Help co worker problems

Okay so basically I work with this guy and he talked to me a lot at work (he likes to talk in general) and I would always find myself trying to run past him because it's exhausting sometimes as nice as he is. Anyways eventually the more he talked to me then added me on fbook I realized he like probably me. One day after work he flat out confessed this to me it was very intense but kind of sweet. I was unsure if I liked him or not because he's not my usual type at all but something about him did attract me and he's pretty funny. So then we end up talking quite a bit I start to realize that he's falling very fast and becoming a little too much. Example: always asking me to take breaks with him, telling me how good I look all the time, staring at me, constantly coming over to talk to me saying he missed me, and so much more. One day while taking break sitting soo uncomfortably close to me and then gave me an awkward long hug after. We ended up going on a date and honestly I like talking to him and all but worst date of my life. He kept telling me how perfect and beautiful the date was and had a heart to heart with me in the car saying how sorry if he's being too much but he's being honest I'm the only girl in his heart and all this crazy stuff and made a joke even saying imagine if you went home and said I think we should just be friends. In my head I'm like oh my god. He also says how alike we are all the time but we're nothing alike really. This guy forsure has issues and he's a really good guy but just way too clingy. So I told him I wanted to be just friends he freaked out a bit at first then took it fairly well. Saying oh ya I'm excited to just be friends but we still have to hangout and actually be friends then... yep I knew at that point he didn't get it. He asked me to hangout valentines, go for lunch all these things. So from then he fell back into flirting with me and I ended up here in this awkward situation of having to tell him again I'm not interested and I just want to be friends. He was so taken aback. He also always wants to talk in the phone and kept asking saying this is no conversation for text and I said no. I just snapped and couldn't do it anymore. He started playing the pity party saying oh well then if you don't care and don't want me in your life I'll vanish hopefully I'll find a new job soon bla bla. Then he said sorry I do still want to be friends I don't want you out of my life. The next day just to be nice I said I hope you have a good day off if we don't talk much just trying to make things normal. He hasn't replied which I'm fine with friends is not going to work with this guy so makes my life easier. Work tho is going to be so awkward I feel like. What do I do? Say hi or ignore him? I also have to walk by him a lot

It's unwise to date coworkers. It's unethical to string anyone along for dates, flattery or attention, pretending to "just be nice".. Be professional instead. Treat him as you would any other coworker.

Also, do not talk to him or text outside of work, including friending or following on social media, that is misleading him. Have you reported him to management for sexual harassment?

Date guys you don't work with.

something about him did attract me and he's pretty funny. We ended up going on a date and honestly I like talking to him and all but worst date of my life. He started playing the pity party saying oh well then if you don't care and don't want me in your life I'll vanish hopefully I'll find a new job soon bla bla. The next day just to be nice I said I hope you have a good day off if we don't talk much just trying to make things normal. He hasn't replied.

Be professional when you see him at work; treat him the same way you would treat any other co-worker. Hold firm on your boundaries, though. No texting or talking on the phone. If you end up on break at the same time as him, just keep a casual distance. If you are clear and consistent, he'll get the message and stop following you like a lost puppy.

He is probably clueless and thinking you are playing hard to get.

Return a "hi" to him, but don't say "hi" first.

Shut down the conversation quickly if he starts up. say "i've got to get back to work now", etc.

He'll get the message.... eventually

You are sending mixed messages by telling him to leave off, and then messaging him 'to be nice' and wishing him a good day. Telling someone to leave you alone should work both ways.

Aside from that, I would report his harassment to your manager.

You are sending mixed messages by telling him to leave off, and then messaging him 'to be nice' and wishing him a good day. Telling someone to leave you alone should work both ways.

 

Aside from that, I would report his harassment to your manager.

Yeah I understand that my whole thing is I just don't want work to be awkward I hope we can walk by eachother and not have this tension. But even if he does reply I won't respond

It's unwise to date coworkers. It's unethical to string anyone along for dates, flattery or attention, pretending to "just be nice".. Be professional instead. Treat him as you would any other coworker.

 

Also, do not talk to him or text outside of work, including friending or following on social media, that is misleading him. Have you reported him to management for sexual harassment?

 

Date guys you don't work with.

I know I just feel like after all this has happened it's going to be hard to act "normal" but I'll try my best to just be nice and professional. I have no clue how he is going to act at work. And no I haven't I've had a few people suggest that but again I don't want to create some big issue. And yes that's my number one rule I have never dated or at least gotten too involved with anyone from work because it never really ends up good.

If you do not like him I think you need to straight up telling him. Currently he is receiving mixed signals from you as well, as such he thinks things are moving forward and that you are attracted to him. IF you do not think you can see yourself dating this man please let him know as soon as possible to avoid any further feelings and emotional pain.

I hear you. The only thing you can do is to keep being friendly and polite to him, but always maintain that you would just like to be work friends and nothing more. No more texting or hanging out.

If you have to have this conversation 1000 times, then keep having it. Eventually he will just leave you alone. But it's not your fault, he's just madly in lust.

I hear you. The only thing you can do is to keep being friendly and polite to him, but always maintain that you would just like to be work friends and nothing more. No more texting or hanging out.

 

If you have to have this conversation 1000 times, then keep having it. Eventually he will just leave you alone. But it's not your fault, he's just madly in lust.

I know exactly I almost feel like either I have to quit or he does cause it's just weird. He's so unpredictable I have no idea how he's going to act at work. He could totally give me the cold shoulder which really is fine I guess or be civil and normal or I don't know

Another question... I have him on all forms of social media. Should I delete him.. or is that kind of being petty? That's usually my way of doing things when I cut off contact with someone. I don't want to have to be reminded so I usually just delete them off everything

If you do not like him I think you need to straight up telling him. Currently he is receiving mixed signals from you as well, as such he thinks things are moving forward and that you are attracted to him. IF you do not think you can see yourself dating this man please let him know as soon as possible to avoid any further feelings and emotional pain.

Well he definitely knows now if he had any confusion before

Another question... I have him on all forms of social media. Should I delete him.. or is that kind of being petty? That's usually my way of doing things when I cut off contact with someone. I don't want to have to be reminded so I usually just delete them off everything

Continue your usual way of doing things....Most definitely you should delete him off social media, that will help him "get the hint"

Continue your usual way of doing things....Most definitely you should delete him off social media, that will help him "get the hint"

Ya I thought so too but the thing is I actually know his sister too small world lol.. I went to school with her and she's a bit older. We have eachother on social media as well and are super cool with eachother so I don't wanna have her thinking I'm rude or immature or whatever. Just makes things a bit more awkward

Ya I thought so too but the thing is I actually know his sister too small world lol.. I went to school with her and she's a bit older. We have eachother on social media as well and are super cool with eachother so I don't wanna have her thinking I'm rude or immature or whatever. Just makes things a bit more awkward

Ya awkward indeed, but still it's best to do it, his sister will understand if you can find a way to explain the circumstances.

Go to HR and discuss it if you are uncomfortable at work. Is he becoming a creepy stalker type?

I almost feel like either I have to quit or he does. He could totally give me the cold shoulder which really is fine I guess or be civil and normal or I don't know

Go to HR and discuss it if you are uncomfortable at work. Is he becoming a creepy stalker type?

It was almost to that point I felt like he was honestly always watching me. But he hasn't said a word in days. And today at work I saw him and had no idea how to act just kind of pretended I didn't see him. I think he did the same. But I have a movie of his that he borrowed me to watch, I gotta give it back do I just walk up and say hey here's your movie? Ugh I wanna avoid talking at all. He gave it to me because he watched my fav movie randomly to know why "I liked it so much" then gave me his to watch. Trying to be mature about this but I feel so uncomfortable even walking by now