Extreme Social Withdrawal - Help Needed

I am a 29 year old male. The primary problem I want some advice on is that I am extremely socially withdrawn. When I use the word "extremely" I mean it. I don't have friends I can trust and share my feelings and problems with. An even bigger problem is that I could not develop such friendships. I have never been in a romantic relationship. I have tried developing them in the past but failed in those attempts.

The biggest problem associated with my social withdrawal is that whenever I am near people I don't get anything in my mind to talk to them. I see most people getting some kind of topic in their mind to talk about when they are near other people. Even when they talk to me I could not listen to them properly and respond well. I have a voice with a very low loudness and I suspect I have some listening problems. So I am completely disengaged. Even when I talk, people have difficulty understanding it and they get an impression I am shy and quiet and don't get close to me.

At this point in my life, I really want to develop a romantic relationship with a girl. There was a girl that showed interest in me last year. But due to my nature I was not able to talk to her normally and the girl starting dating someone else.

I would really appreciate some advice on how to deal with this problem and come out of it.

I am a 29 year old male. The primary problem I want some advice on is that I am extremely socially withdrawn. When I use the word "extremely" I mean it. I don't have friends I can trust and share my feelings and problems with. An even bigger problem is that I could not develop such friendships. I have never been in a romantic relationship. I have tried developing them in the past but failed in those attempts.

 

The biggest problem associated with my social withdrawal is that whenever I am near people I don't get anything in my mind to talk to them. I see most people getting some kind of topic in their mind to talk about when they are near other people. Even when they talk to me I could not listen to them properly and respond well. I have a voice with a very low loudness and I suspect I have some listening problems. So I am completely disengaged. Even when I talk, people have difficulty understanding it and they get an impression I am shy and quiet and don't get close to me.

 

At this point in my life, I really want to develop a romantic relationship with a girl. There was a girl that showed interest in me last year. But due to my nature I was not able to talk to her normally and the girl starting dating someone else.

 

I would really appreciate some advice on how to deal with this problem and come out of it.

Do you play a lot of video games? Read meaningless books? Spend lots of time behind the computer screen? Substance abuse? Alcohol?

If so, put that on pause for awhile. Remove your computer and TV and just meditate on your feelings in silence. Read spiritual books. Consider joining a church that answers some of your theological questions. There is a reason that you feel this way. It sounds like you have some unresolved anxiety and depression that you still need to sort through. You need to find a place to be open about this with trusting people. Church is a place to do that at. Consider joining a support group if you struggle with addictions that isolate you from others.

It may be uncomfortable for awhile to be around others, but you have to continue to do it. Our souls and well-being depend on deep and meaningful relationships with other people.

This blog has TONS of articles that I think would help you- this is just one - but it applies to the problem you described with your voice:

If you are looking for quick solutions , consider reading up on how to become more social. I am sure with little to no effort you could be able to have a decent conversation with people that would aid you to find those relationships you are looking for.

If you are looking for long term solutions, i might suggest some personal growth/therapy. Being shy and quiet is not something that person cannot change.