Tomorrow is Moving Day

Background here:

Tomorrow, I'm moving out of our place. I'm having mixed emotions about this. We are going to have dinner together tonight and he's giving me a hand with moving tomorrow. At first, I was thinking there is no WAY he is going to help me move. I thought it's going to be way too emotional, separating all our stuff into a new place after we moved it all in together 5 years ago. But he really wants to help. I don't know if he feels guilty, and that's why he's so keen to assist, but he really wants to so I've decided to let him. What do you guys think? Is this a good idea to let him help with the move?

We had a bit of a chat last night where I told him I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do now. I told him I'm not going to be "waiting around for him", calling him all the time etc. but I said I was confused about whether I should be treating this as THATS IT, ITS OVER, WE ARE NEVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER or not. What am I supposed to do if in some time somebody were to ask me out?

He said that I'm moving out, he can't stop me from going out with someone else if that's what I want to do. Which is of course true.

I told him that I don't want to be holding onto any false hope. I don't want to be hoping for a reconciliation if he's going to be working on completely moving on. He said that he thought that we were supposed to be breaking up, living apart and then catching up in a few months to see how we feel about each other. See how we go being apart. I said, "I wasn't entirely sure that's what the plan was here". Because I wasn't. He hasn't really said that this is what he wants in as many words. He said he just thought it was implied.

Something I also haven't mentioned is that we've been sleeping in the same bed together since we "broke up" and he's actually been very affectionate lately. No sex though. This morning he was holding me and whispering, "I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss you so much". I don't know if he's blinded right now by the fact that I'm MOVING OUT and it's all becoming so real.

I know this isn't healthy, because we are broken up and I'm moving out tomorrow, but there's obviously still a lot of love there.

I'm just confused all over again. I know I can't predict the future, but I wish I had some sort of an inkling.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

I also asked him, "are we supposed to talk or should we leave each other alone for a bit?"

He said, "don't be ridiculous, we've been together 6 years I can't just stop talking to you."

But I think for my own sanity, I'll need to let him initiate the contact.

I'm nervous though that he might, without meaning to, use me as his emotional support while he gets through this, and give me false hope, and then the contact will start to drop off as he starts to feel better. And I'll be right back to where I started.

I haven't even moved out yet and I'm already having these predictions and paranoid thoughts about how this is going to pan out!

It sounds like he's completely checked out including being indifferent to your "dating others" comment. It doesn't sound like he's stringing you along or giving you false hope. Moving out after 5 yrs is definitely a huge step away from a relationship.

Good luck with the move and your new place. After that don't date him or contact him and focus on rebuilding your new free and single life.

He said that I'm moving out, he can't stop me from going out with someone else if that's what I want to do. He said that he thought that we were supposed to be breaking up, living apart and then catching up in a few months to see how we feel about each other.

Yeah some mixed signals going on there. For me instead of the back and forth. I wish now that it had just been over the day I moved my stuff out. I'm a great decision maker at work not in relationships. If possible have a friend help move. Your ex can be there but it will take a lot of the emotions out. That's what I did. I'm really happy about that decision. It went a lot smoother.

Dont let him help you. Its your first step in being alone, I think you should own it. I didn't even want my ex around when I packed up after 6 years.

Your right about being used by him as an emotional crutch once you leave. He's already done it and you haven't broken up. Dont be his crutch, dont make or reciprocate contact.

Good luck.

I really don't think it's a good idea to have him help you move your things. Personally, I think it'd be waaay to emotional and difficult. Have a friend or someone else help you but not him. When my ex moved out it was really hard watching him with the movers, etc. I locked myself in my son's room and stayed there till I knew he was gone.

Good luck tomorrow, I know it's difficult but you can do this!