Boyfriend gets angry over small things.

So over the past week my boyfriend has been getting annoyed at me over little things. Fair enough they may be annoying but I don't understand why they should lead to full blown arguments.

Firstly I asked my boyfriend to not go on his phone whilst having dinner with me, which he got very angry about, snapped asking why as it's not like he can pay attention to me whilst eating and watching TV. He then goes on to being petty. I needed to urgently text someone to get a lift to work the day after and asked my boyfriend if it was ok to, and then he started repeating things I said originally such as it's rude and that we were watching tv together so why did I have to do so then. I literally just remembered that's why.

Then my boyfriend told me our plans on Saturday were changing as he was busy with work, and so I responded by asking if we could spend time together on Sunday. He replied by getting annoyed and asking why I had to ask again. And I obviously asked again just to confirm the plans. And then I asked him 'do you want to spend time with me though' as I have been feeling a bit unwanted this week (obviously I shouldn't have said this and I apologised) . This also lead to a full blown argument where he got annoyed at why I asked that, started to act cold and angry towards me saying that me calling him has stopped him from working. And then when I tried to pretend to be happy just so he could go back to doing his work he replied saying I'm manipulative and that I just wanted to distract him and now I'm telling him to go. I've done a lot to help and support him with his work which is why this upsets me as I feel very unappreciated.

He's also called me a when I got upset during an argument once.

Anyway how can we stop having these little arguments? I feel my boyfriend gets angry easily and he has known to have anger issues in the past. I feel he's petty too and never wants to resolve an argument and he never takes responsibility for his anger and pettiness.

How long have you two been together? How old are you? Any talk of marriage, etc.?

It does sound like he is being a bit grumpy, but it also sounds like there are some things you are doing that are provoking him a little.

You can't change your boyfriend (telling him to go to an anger management class or see a therapist likely won't work). What you can do is look at your contribution to the issue and make adjustments. If this pattern continues, it could escalate and cause the relationship to fail.

It takes two to argue. Do your part to prevent these conflicts or end them quickly when they arise, even if he doesn't do his. When one person is at peace, it's surprising how quickly most fights can be diffused.

How long have you two been together? How old are you? Any talk of marriage, etc.?

 

It does sound like he is being a bit grumpy, but it also sounds like there are some things you are doing that are provoking him a little.

 

You can't change your boyfriend (telling him to go to an anger management class or see a therapist likely won't work). What you can do is look at your contribution to the issue and make adjustments. If this pattern continues, it could escalate and cause the relationship to fail.

 

It takes two to argue. Do your part to prevent these conflicts or end them quickly when they arise, even if he doesn't do his. When one person is at peace, it's surprising how quickly most fights can be diffused.

Hi thanks for your reply, he's almost 25 I'm 23. We've been together nearly 3 years and are talking about gettting engaged soon.

I can tell that I may be provoking him a little which I've apologised for. He's busy and so obviously I feel like I'm getting let attention from him.

I should consider that he is an angry personabsso try my best to prevent provoking him even if I think it's something little.

You're right I will try to prevent the arguments in future. This has just been going on for the past 2 weeks, we had been great for months before this. He's obviously got a lot on as do I and I had a car accident a few weeks ago which is when this all started by the looks of it.

This has just been going on for the past 2 weeks, we had been great for months before this.

Stress can cause arguments; I just hope this is a temporary issue. If not, you may want to think twice about the idea of engagement.

It's hard relationships are always going to have their ups and down but I do think it's all about compromise. I would let things settle this week and try and start next week as fresh week. I do think it's better not to bring up passed agreements and instead if there's a issue say it as it is happen but just beware of tone of your voice and be clever in ways of saying things as they can see it as nagging.

If your out for a meal and his on his phone for couple secs that's ok but obviously if his on ther for 5 mins then say something or try and distract him first. If he still goes back to his phone after distracting him then ask him if his ok, as it could be to do with work and his stressed etc. But you only doing what any other normal lady would do. X

without knowing more its hard to say why he is being short with you. It could be he met someone else and doesnt want to hear from you, he has subconsciously decided to sabotage the relationship or he is just going thru a mood swing, or he just feels he needs space and time, or he could be out buying a ring, or there could be more to it.

Eventually you will know why if you just leave him be. Right now, the more you talk to him, the more annoyed he will get. I know because I have been thru this. Give him time and space but dont let him know that you are given him time and space. Example of what not to say is: "Youve been moody so Im going to let you do what you want to" or something like "You seem angry so call me when you calm down".. In time, either by actions or words you will find out why he has been moody.

Unfortunately it sounds like he doesn't do well with clingyness, constant attention and reassurances. Lay back and act more confident. Then he may come to you more. Strive for independence and self-respect.

... I had a car accident a few weeks ago which is when this all started by the looks of it.

That could have done it. He may be feeling too much weight from you and doesn't trust your self sufficiency. He may view you as too dependent on him. I'd back off, leave him alone and let him drive the relationship for a while in terms of timing and communication. Invest in your own career, friendships and interests to demo that you can live a healthy life without centering your focus on him. This will allow him to relax into handling his own business, and then you can see whether reliving some of the pressure in his cooker helps at all.