I dont know what to do with myself

Alright, so bf (28yo) broke up with me (22yo) about 2 weeks ago,we were together for 1.5 year the breakup was friendly is i can say (no fighting, nothing mean has been said) but i an SO heartbroken its awfull, we didnt talk for 3 days after the breakup then he came over to talk and exange stuff witch once again was friendly, we hugged, we cried, we watch a little bit of tv and he even gave me a massage. After that i called him the next 2 days then went NC... i broke NC after 8 full day (2 days ago) because i had ordered a book i needed for school and he told me he would give it to a mutual friend.... he kept the book for 11 days and i know for a fact that he saw the friend so i called him super pissed, he came over yesterday to drop the book and left.

I am writing this post because i dont know how to cope.... I am in so much pain, my friends are getting tired of talking about it, my parents are getting pissed off and keep telling me to move on, life goes on blabla, but i just cant do it... i feel like my life is over, i am in so much pain. I would never do anything like that but everytime i drive a small part of me just wanna crash to end it all, and whats most painfull is that i feel like he moved on already and doesnt give a (he told me its not true and his way of showing me that he cares is by answering the phone everytime i call him).

I feel like my life is over, im 3 months away from a degree and possibly a master (if i can keep my grades) but I feel likes its not worth it anymore, he was the man of my life, we talked about buying a house together, we even picked out the names of our kids. Part of me knows that its over and he probably wont come back but i also wanna believe him when he said that maybe in a couple of months/year it may start back.

I just dont know what to do with myself anymore.. i keep crying and have no motivation to do anything....

sorry for my english, french is my first language

Hi. Don't worry, we're here to cheer you up!

The way you're feeling now is completely normal. It happens everytime when you break-up with somebody. You just need to be aware of it..Dealing with a break-up is very painful, but time will heal you - trust me. Half a year ago I was in your situation - a girl broke up with me and boy was I devastated. She just left me and additionaly started dating her co-worker at the same time. One thing I was just devastated after the break-up itself and the other thing I found out about her new "boyfriend" and it just torn me apart for a while. But now? I'm just myself again, I don't care about that situation and I've simply forgotten about her, because I gave myself time to forget and that's what you also should do. At the beginning it might seem unbearable, but trust me eventually this situation will just make you a stronger person and also "immune" to similar situations in the future. You're still young and I'm sure that there will be many men in you live..

Don't worry, we're all here to help you. We've all been through even worse in our lives so everyone here's sort of experienced you know..

Anyway, good luck! If you want a private conversation there is a "private message" button somewhere on my profile!

Take care

Why did you break up? It doesn't sounds like a friendly breakup. It sounds like you were too dependent and attached and tried to make him your whole world. You need to stay no contact it will help you feel better.

the breakup was friendly. i called him super pissed, he came over yesterday to drop the book and left. I feel like my life is over. he was the man of my life.

This really sucks, and you find many have been through your situation, and some worse. Ask anyone that had a bitter divorce with kids and alimony. Fortunately, this didn't happen after you had kids, and said your "I do"s.

If you are not familiar with them, here are the five stages of grief: (not always in this order)

denial,

anger,

bargaining,

depression

acceptance

Yes, friends and family will eventual grow tired of the conversation, and seldom help with tough break ups.

Have you considered therapy? There is no stigma against this. Nobody has to even know.

I found typing my thoughts down in a journal really helped me get my words out. I even recited some out loud. Microsoft Word is the best listener.

Wish you well.

I dont really know why we broke up honestly. the beggining of january was rocky, we had a couples fight and decided to spend a week doing all we could to not fight, we made it to 1.5 week, on the thursday night right before bed i told him that i was getting frustrated because we only had sex twice in the past 2 week but i said that i understood he was stressed (he was bestman to a wedding on the saturday), he then told me he wasnt sure he wanted the relationship anymore, that it felt like i was forcing myself and that i wasnt myself. so the next day he left for the wedding, we didnt really spoke untill the sunday when he called me and said he didnt knew if he wanted to breakup or not and stuff like that and ask for a break, i said no to the break because my weekend was hell not knowing if we were still together and with school and midterns coming up i just couldnt do it all over again so he broke up with me. When he came over on the thursday he told me that he still loved me, hugged me and everything, he also said that he felt like he needed to grow up and be independent and for that he needed to be on his own. Last may he lost his job and since then he's been trying to start his own buisiness, witch doesnt really work, he's been low on cash for the past 8 months, ive been paying for the food and he's been living with his mom, we were suppose to move in together but the fact that he lost his job made in incapable of paying the rent.

I just dont get how he was able to tell me 2 weeks ago that he loved me (he cried, it was the first time i saw him cry) and now act like he never did.... how can you go 8 days without talking to you ex that you suposely still love ? it drives me insane because every hour of the day im wondering what he's doing, if he's sad, if he's thinking about me, it takes me everything not to text or call him and he seems to be doing just fine...

Also, ive seen him twice on tinder since the breakup and everytime i panicked and called him, the first time he said he went to see if i was there and deleted it after, the second time he said his friend made it and once again he deleted it. Is he trying to get a reaction out of me ? why would you go on tinder and delete your acount after your ex call, i mean if he really wants to be on it he wouldnt delete it after

Also, ive seen him twice on tinder since the breakup and everytime i panicked and called him, the first time he said he went to see if i was there and deleted it after, the second time he said his friend made it and once again he deleted it. Is he trying to get a reaction out of me ? why would you go on tinder and delete your acount after your ex call, i mean if he really wants to be on it he wouldnt delete it after

He went on Tinder to find a girl to hook up with. This is how many men deal with breakups. I don't buy his story that he was checking to see if you were there, or the second story "his friend made it" He deleted the acct. to spare your feelings. Sorry.

He's right, he needs to make money, get more independent and focus on that rather than talking about relationships or living together.

Why are you on Tinder? After a breakup up he can date others and so can you. That's the beauty of a breakup. Freedom, no fighting, no clinging, no answering to anyone, etc.. Enjoy it and... Leave him alone.

he also said that he felt like he needed to grow up and be independent and for that he needed to be on his own.he's been low on cash for the past 8 months and he's been living with his mom, we were suppose to move in together but the fact that he lost his job made in incapable of paying the rent. Also, ive seen him twice on tinder

I really dont think he was on tinder to find a random girl to have sex with... thats not who he is and he doesnt need tinder to find someone to bang... and im on there to talk to new people because i feel dead since the breakup.... just wanna change my mind and talk to new people i guess

I have no experience with the Tinder app, but have heard numerous times that Tinder is the "go-to" place to hook up.

Your purpose for Tinder might be different than your ex.

Ok that's a start. You broke up, you have your freedom so now you can date other guys. Perfect.

im on there to talk to new people because i feel dead since the breakup.... just wanna change my mind and talk to new people i guess

I am in so much pain its awfulll, cant concentration on uni or anything i just spend my days watching videos on youtube on how to get an ex back and reading on the forum...

I just went on his instagram, 1h ago he posted a 'trowback thursday' of a pic I took on a trip to brazil this summer (i know looking at his instagram was a bad idea)... I was only him and I on the trip and he havent done a throwback thursday with those pictures in forever..... is there any reason he would post one today or am i just overthinking everything ?

day 2 NC today (back to square 1 because i broke it monday)