Acted like a crazy person and need advice.

I "dated" a guy for year but we were never official. We were basically just friends with benefits because he didn't want anything more. I am not the type of person who is usually okay with casual hookups, but I convinced myself that it if I did this he would eventually want to be with me.

This went on for a year and I feel like it turned me into a completely depressed crazy person. I would do anything to talk to him, see him, get his attention. I would make up things to talk to him about just to be able to have things to text him. We would hangout a few times a week, hook up, and text daily. I could not understand why he didn't like me and I feel like I completely put my life on hold for the last year because I was obsessed with trying to get him to be with me.

It was almost an addiction. This all ended last week when I found out that he was talking to someone else. I completely lost it and feel like I had no control over myself. I lied and told him that I was sick and in the hospital just to see if I he would care about me. I realize that this is completely INSANE. I feel like I just went completely psycho. He caught me in the lie.

I don't know what is wrong with me, why I acted like this, or how to fix it. I'm 23, I have a great career, great friends/family. I don't know why I did this. Does anyone have any advice for me? Should I seek professional help?

Chock it up to a good learning lesson.

You wanted more than FWB and he didn't. Nothing to do with attraction to you.

FWB only works short term and usually a guy will do it BECAUSE he doesn't want a relationship, just wants sex and companionship.

As for the lie you told, that was pretty low and dramatic. I think in a normal healthy relationship that type behaviour wouldn't have happened.

Your best bet is to stop seeing him altogether. He is not willing to give you what you need. I think in a committed relationship you would not have behaved that way. Do you intend to continue this "relationship"?

I don't intend to continue. But I just don't know what to do about my embarrassing/ridiculous behavior. I have realized that this is unhealthy for me and this relationship can't continue, but I can't stop obsessing over my terrible behavior. Another problem is that we work in the same place and I will have to eventually see him.

Sorry this was a toxic mix. He kept you at arms length and you wanted more. Just move on and act like nothing if you see him. Be professional and try to avoid him. Most of all delete and block him from all messaging and social media and strict no contact.

Get on some dating apps and start messaging and meeting men for coffee to find someone who wants what you want. Try not to be lured into the "I want what I can't have" mindset.

Watch the film Fatal Attraction, it's a good deterrent to ever be like that again. feel like I completely put my life on hold for the last year because I was obsessed with trying to get him to be with me.

I lied and told him that I was sick and in the hospital just to see if I he would care about me. I realize that this is completely INSANE. I feel like I just went completely psycho. He caught me in the lie.

Its okay, You are not the first person to do this and you are not the last. As one person said it.. just chalk this up to a life's learning lesson.

The important thing is that you realize that what you did is a bit crazy. Something you are not proud of and I hope that you learn from this and dont do it again.

As for what you did, forgive yourself. Yes you screwed up, placed your life on hold for a year and wondered why he didnt want to be with you but as a guy I would say it was a win/win for him. He probably knew you wanted more, and he probably knew how to keep you in your lane. However the reason why he didnt want to be with you is simply he was just not that into you.

There was no reason why and thats okay. Its okay to not have all the answers. Just accept that he didnt want to be with you. And it is his loss.

You are a beautiful person, attractive, you have a career and there is a guy out there who wouldnt love to be with someone like you. This guy had a year and he didnt want it. In reality, you probably should of known after 3 months he didnt want anything from you.

You are okay, you will be happy again, forgive yourself, forgive your mistakes, forgive your behavior and learn from this. And yeah, you went Bat Ssst Crazy, but thats what we do to you. Dont worry, girls make us BSC too.

Thank you so much for your advice! We work in the same place. How do you suggest dealing with being at work together? I'm so ashamed of my behavior.

Thank you so much for your advice! We work in the same place. How do you suggest dealing with being at work together? I'm so ashamed of my behavior.

Maybe he should also be ashamed for using you while knowing how badly you wanted more? Does he not have a conscience at all? Neither one of you has clean hands, so please just take the lesson and leave the shame and guilt behind. Next time you are into someone and they tell you that they'll only hook up, you laugh in their face and walk away head held high. Do not hook up, do not engage further, never ever get into the game of "I'll make him want me". That never works out and it's never about you in the first place. You might be a perfect 10 in most men's eyes, but so what if this guy in particular prefers a hot mess with 3 kids and 3 different baby daddies and is aiming to be baby daddy #4. I mean you just don't know what really floats the other person's boat. All you can do is accept what they tell you about their lack of interest in a relationship with you is truth.

As for work. Honestly, just avoid him from now on as much as possible. Where not possible, keep it strictly to work talk and be extremely distant and professional. Civil, courteous, but no more than that. If you have the guts, then you can pull him aside and tell him bluntly that you are not sure what came over you, you are sorry for how you acted, but you are over him now and are moving on.

Love us an addiction. Everyone has done something they regret when it comes to a relationship. The longer you are out the more you look from the outside. The more you learn. Good luck

I texted him today. I don't know why I did it I felt like I had no control over myself. We agreed that we shouldn't talk anymore and he said we don't have to be afraid to see eachother at work but we just can't talk. I'm just so ashamed of myself and embarrassed. Any advice on sticking to no contact?

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If you really don't want to contact him, read the lyrics of this song.

I texted him today. I don't know why I did it I felt like I had no control over myself. We agreed that we shouldn't talk anymore and he said we don't have to be afraid to see eachother at work but we just can't talk. I'm just so ashamed of myself and embarrassed. Any advice on sticking to no contact?

Block him and then delete his number or any other forms of contact. I get that you two work together, but delete any temptation.

Do you have close friend you can have the agreement with that when ever you feel tempted you can call her/him instead?

If you don't . . come here and we'll talk you out of it!

As you can see contacting him makes you feel even worse about yourself, so be kind to yourself starting here and don't contact him,

Treat it like and addiction. Every moment, every day you resist you get stronger. Each time you fail you start all over again.

It's like a alcoholic taking a drink. If you look at it this way then you'll know it typically feels worse before it gets better, but you'll also know

you are on course.

One foot in front of the other.

Thank you. It really is an addiction. How long do you think it will take to get over this?

Thank you. It really is an addiction. How long do you think it will take to get over this?

Hard to say. Everyone is different. It usually takes longer than we like but the best thing you can do is to not have contact with him.

Remember it's like picking a scab. You do this and it just takes longer to heal.

This good new is there is effective treatment for delusional jealousy:

"Although obsessive jealousy is a highly disturbing disorder, frequently it goes unrecognized, as most attention is paid to delusional jealousy, being the more prominent clinical phenomenon. In order to distinguish obsessive from delusional jealousy, the basic clinical characteristics of these two types of jealousy are presented, as well as the mechanism of their respective genesis, and the differences which we must be aware of in order to prevent misdiagnosis and consequent wrong treatment choices. The theoretical considerations are supported by case presentations providing a clear picture of the phenomena discussed. Unlike delusional jealousy, characterized by the presence of strong, false beliefs that the partner is unfaithful, individuals with obsessive jealousy suffer from unpleasant and irrational jealous ruminations that the partner could be unfaithful, accompanied by compulsive checking of partners' behaviour, which is recognised by the patient as ego-dystonic. This jealousy resembles obsessive-compulsive phenomenology more closely. Despite the differences, both forms of jealousy result in significant distress for patients and intimate relationships, and carry the risk of abuse, homicide and/or suicide. Delusional jealousy is a psychotic disorder and should be treated mainly with antipsychotics, while obsessive jealousy resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder and should be treated with SSRIs and cognitive-behavioural therapy. Regardless of the presence or absence of insight into the disorder, one of the key factors in the treatment of pathological jealousy is to motivate the sufferers for pharmacological and psychotherapeutic interventions."

I am having trouble sticking to no contact. I haven't contacted him but I keep thinking about him and wanting to. I am so afraid of seeing him at work that I have considered calling in sick. I don't know how to get over this. Does anyone have any advice for me on seeing him at work? I'm so embarrassed

I've been in your shoes before, and yes, we worked together. It's been a long time ago and I no longer work there, But what helped me was to fake it till I made it. I felt horrible, embarrassed, silly, childish...but I didn't let it show. I faked being confident. I dressed well, always had my hair n makeup looking nice, wore nice jewelry, never looked downward when I passed him, head up and looking forward, say hello as you pass but keep looking forward after you say hello. Don't look at any of his social media or his gf's. Block him so you don't look. Workout, do something to release stress: boxing is gooood!!! And just keep with NC. Block block block. I remember feeling much better after a month. And "over it" by the end of month 2. Once I was "over it" I didn't feel so cloudy and I stopped blaming myself. Emotions run high after something like this. It's OK!!!!!!

Seeing someone at work is tough. Thats why people say dont date anyone from work, especially if you directly work with them. But since it happened and that cant be reversed here is what I would say to you.

Be yourself! Do what you want to do to carry out your day. If you start playing the avoidance game or thinking of 'how to act' when he is around, you are going to get mentally drained thinking about how you are going to act since you are not going to be yourself.

So I would just say. Be yourself, carry on with your day and do your job. If you see your X, act like you. You can say hi but no need to go much further than that. If he tries to talk to you, then you can focus on work. Also, dont worry about his actions. Dont try to decode what he is doing, what he means when he looks at you or looks at another girl in the workplace. Dont try to figure out what a man is thinking. Worry about you and your day.

Oh and just remember, in 5 years, none of this will even matter to you. It's not a significant life event. You won't be thinking anything about him, in fact, you won't remember much about this at all. It's just "whatever".

I feel so depressed and anxious. I'm sticking to no contact, but I can't stop thinking about this and beating myself up over it. I'm trying to stay busy but I'm still thinking about it. I hope this passes soon.

I feel so depressed and anxious. I'm sticking to no contact, but I can't stop thinking about this and beating myself up over it. I'm trying to stay busy but I'm still thinking about it. I hope this passes soon.

As you've heard a million times before (but it's true). "take one day at a time"

Shed the guilt. Forgive yourself. Making mistakes is human, learn from them and dont make them in your next relationship. You simply can not correct your mistakes by going back in the past or in this relationship.

I'm having trouble sticking to no contact. Yesterday I got into a pretty bad car accident and obviously he was the first person I wanted to text. However, I didn't text him but I am having trouble sticking to it. I can't stop thinking about him and I want to tell him about it. I know there's no good in telling him and he already thinks I'm crazy from before and texting him is not an option. How do I stick to no contact?!

Christ, get ahold of yourself, girl. Where is your dignity?

He's not entitled to know what's going on in your life! And anyhow why would you want to share what's going on in your life with someone who point blank told you "WE SHOULDN'T TALK ANYMORE"???

The fact that he doesn't want to talk to you should be enough for you to stick to no contact.

Perhaps you should seek counseling. You have a lot going on in your mind that you need someone to help you sort things out.

Just wanted to ask you if you have accepted that its over? When you do think of him, what do you think about? Do you still have imaginary conversations with him? What would you say or how he would respond?