Not sure what should I do.

So here is my story.

I’ve been in a relationship for 4 years with a person, we have had our ups and down but mostly downs. We started dating and in all honestly we fall in love and we enjoy our relation but 2 months into it problems started happening, she would get jealous of mostly everyone around me. When we got into strong discussions she would do crazy things. Like trying to choke to death with my car seatbelt or trying to jump off my moving car, or those times she would jump at the car wheel and try to get us both killed. There was also a time where she took 4 Sleeping PM pills in a row wanting to die. All through that, I have been forgiving, mostly because without me she has nobody by her side. Her family is nuts and they barely took care of her and the father is a drunkard. To the point where her mom didn’t wanted to take her to college and she had to come live with me and my mom and grandma (All against my will because as a christian I don’t support that idea, again did it because she had no options). And it has been hard, to the point that I have to DO ALL her college homework from online classes because she said she can’t, all while she loses her time on youtube. And on my end I haven’t receive not even a 10% of what I give. She even make me delete people from Facebook. She doesn’t drive, doesn’t cook, she is a mess and she gets mad if I give money to my mother to help her and lately she said she is jealous about my mom and that was crazy in my opinion. I feel I can’t keep this up. She even acted in jealousy the day my best friend was getting buried and almost jumped out of the car because of the jealousy. And I kept going and because of me she is actually earning good grades and stuff but at the cost of me getting drained and not having time to achieve my dreams.

But I met this girl, and apart from her been very mature despite having only 19 (me having 26 and my girlfriend having 24) she actually cares for me, she says that I am an amazing person but well obviously Im in a relationship and she respects that although now she knows I’m not really happy. And I don’t know what to do, leaving my gf will probably means she will most likely have a bad life, and not leaving her means I will never achieve true happiness because whether I like it or not she simply isn’t wife Material sadly. And I want to hear people’s opinion on this and the point here is not this new girl, is that I finally understand than I’m not happy at all and I don’t know what should I do.

Sorry but his gf sounds like a train wreck and needs therapy not a relationship. You are harming her and yourself by enabling her so much. Don't play martyr or victim. Kick her out.

As for the other girl, maybe that is finally opening your eyes to what kind of craziness you've been wrapped up in.

I met this girl, she actually cares for me, she says that I am an amazing person but well obviously Im in a relationship and she respects that although now she knows I’m not really happy.

Its almost as if you couldnt make this up if you tried. I never heard anything so psycho in my life. I have to read it again.

I read it again. I cant imagine why you put up with this for 4 years, if it is all true.

Even if its painful, Ide change your life if I were you.

Good luck.

You'll need it.

Whoa. Your girlfriend doesn't sound human, and you appear to be the biggest doormat ever. (no offense).

Everyone will tell you to move on (including yourself), so do it and don't look back!!

The new girl sounds like a saint in comparison.

You've been telling yourself a very convenient lie for 4 years - she just can't live without you, she has no options. Then you have taken it onto yourself to play daddy and enabler to a grown woman who absolutely has options. I think that you need to explore within yourself what exactly possessed you to behave in such an unhealthy way.

Of course, unhealthy attracts unhealthy. Your girlfriend doesn't need a relationship, she needs serious intensive psychiatric treatment. She has options - living in dorms on campus, living with roommates, having a job, doing her own homework and work in general, etc. She doesn't do any of that because you are actually stopping her from that by taking care of everything, including her homework. If she won't do it, then she NEEDS to fail and learn to live with consequences of her personal actions and decisions. It will either push her to do better or push her to do something else that actually interests her. Either way, doing everything for her is actually deeply damaging to her.

As for her jealousy, of course she is completely paranoid of any threat coming at her gravy train, aka you. That's not love, btw. That's just a smart person enjoying the full benefits of using you in every possible way. Quite naturally she wouldn't want that situation threatened or curtailed. Not because she doesn't have options, but because she gets to be lazy and do NOTHING, while you do everything to an unhealthy extent.

Anyway, you need to dump her today. You also need to talk to a therapist about your own issues and what got you drawn into this kind of a situation and why, so you don't keep repeating the past.

She must be super hot and the sex must be AWESOME to put up with that.

She must be super hot and the sex must be AWESOME to put up with that.

]

She is hot NOT Super hot at all and the few times we engaged in the act she was boring and lay down like a dead fish all the time.

sounds awful.

the few times we engaged in the act she was boring and lay down like a dead fish all the time.

You've been telling yourself a very convenient lie for 4 years - she just can't live without you, she has no options. Then you have taken it onto yourself to play daddy and enabler to a grown woman who absolutely has options. I think that you need to explore within yourself what exactly possessed you to behave in such an unhealthy way.

 

Of course, unhealthy attracts unhealthy. Your girlfriend doesn't need a relationship, she needs serious intensive psychiatric treatment. She has options - living in dorms on campus, living with roommates, having a job, doing her own homework and work in general, etc. She doesn't do any of that because you are actually stopping her from that by taking care of everything, including her homework. If she won't do it, then she NEEDS to fail and learn to live with consequences of her personal actions and decisions. It will either push her to do better or push her to do something else that actually interests her. Either way, doing everything for her is actually deeply damaging to her.

 

As for her jealousy, of course she is completely paranoid of any threat coming at her gravy train, aka you. That's not love, btw. That's just a smart person enjoying the full benefits of using you in every possible way. Quite naturally she wouldn't want that situation threatened or curtailed. Not because she doesn't have options, but because she gets to be lazy and do NOTHING, while you do everything to an unhealthy extent.

 

Anyway, you need to dump her today. You also need to talk to a therapist about your own issues and what got you drawn into this kind of a situation and why, so you don't keep repeating the past.

I'm not gonna dump her on Valentines day that's for sure but I will cut all the college thing help she is on her own now. I will also give her a list of chores to do and I will push her to the point she either decides she can't handle the adult life or if she pull one of those "psycho killer" acts I'm so ending it on the spot and calling the police. I made a mistake allowing her to do all that, she is a good person but again her flaws are dangerous and I can't deal with that anymore. She wanted me to changed so much things that were harmless and I will do them again like hanging with my friends and stuff, again if she doesn't like it then she is out.

sounds awful. ]

 

Thanks for cracking me up man I needed that, btw at least that fish is doing something!

Whoa. Your girlfriend doesn't sound human, and you appear to be the biggest doormat ever. (no offense).

Everyone will tell you to move on (including yourself), so do it and don't look back!!

 

The new girl sounds like a saint in comparison.

None taken man I've been telling to myself that I am an idiot too. Thanks for opening my eyes brother.

And the new girl is super chill and we understand each other a lot better, even told me that how the hell does somebody tries to kill you when they are supposed to love you. And we have so much in common!

Sorry but his gf sounds like a train wreck and needs therapy not a relationship. You are harming her and yourself by enabling her so much. Don't play martyr or victim. Kick her out.

 

As for the other girl, maybe that is finally opening your eyes to what kind of craziness you've been wrapped up in.

And I knew she was and I try to fix her, but I'm no therapist.

And yeah she opened my eyes very much, I forgot that I can also reach happiness and she just reminded me and it feels really good.

Its almost as if you couldnt make this up if you tried. I never heard anything so psycho in my life. I have to read it again.

I read it again. I cant imagine why you put up with this for 4 years, if it is all true.

Even if its painful, Ide change your life if I were you.

Good luck.

You'll need it.

Thanks for the luck brother. I thought there were people more psycho but I think she earned the award for the biggest psycho. I wish it was all made up man, I don't go around messing with women or been a bad person I should have to go through this but yeah. I hid a lot of things this 4 years and I should have acted earlier. I think this is soon going to be over. Thanks for the response man.