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Thread: comprehension problems

  1. #1
    Balling2002
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    comprehension problems

    - I am 24 years old, physically healthy for the most part. I have a hard time keeping track of my finances, problems picking up on social cues and having fluent conversations within a group setting. sometimes I might say something that offends a person(unintentionally) or even come off as arrogant. Deep down inside these are not my intentions. Also I think I have a problem with my tonality. This causes me to sometimes get upset because of people miss understanding me or brushing me off. I also mis interpret what people are saying and their facial expressions. I've been faking it for a long time now. I also lack self awareness , safe to say this has caused many relationships to fail. I often hear people say things like, he just doesn't get it.. Or 'I'm a project' or I'm impossible.. And I just don't understand... Anyone else experience anything similar? Please help.

  2. #2
    RainyCoast
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    social intelligence can be acquired! you mentioned depression, panic, anxiety, relationship problems last time, do you have anyone helping you with that?

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    Balling2002
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    I don't have anyone helping me with it right now. My fight or flight response is also heightened. - it's annoying,I'm now always paranoid about the worst thing happening.

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    trojan
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    I used to be like you. And yes, I would overhear people say Im such a social clod. And I was forever saying the wrong thing, and people misunderstanding me, and me misunderstanding them, and being socially clueless and always doing and saying the wrong thing. I would try to attach myself to the wrong girl, try to become friends with the wrong crowd, do weird stuff like that.
    I went to college for a long time, and that was a big part of my change, but there are other ways to do it if college isnt an option.
    push yourself into a job were you have to relate to people, where you will get a lot of experience. Practice has a lot to do with it. Employers will always pigeon hole you into a job they think you will be good at, and so if they see your social skills are off kilter, you will only find jobs where you do not need to communicate to the public or deal with people.
    That was my situation where I work now, but I wanted something where I developed social skills. I had to push it because my boss didnt trust my social skills, but I got on as a trial basis,and it has become my full time job dealing with a wide variety of people and Ive gained a lot of confidence by this constant social interaction. I have to perform or I will be eaten alive.
    College helps a lot; it builds a foundation to work from. Age helps a lot too; its common to be sort of awkward at 24, and you may grow out of it. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in your job and challenging yourself with a more people oriented position puts you on the spot and you will have to quickly learn just to survive.
    Before I was pretty socially clutzy around people, but now somehow I am a group leader and do a lot of public speaking. I sort of had do do a lot of shoving to get this job, and it was really hard for me at first, because I had so little experience relating to people. After some years started to get smoother at it all, and now I feel I have become very good at it.

  5. #5
    ~tom~
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    I wouldn't jump to conclusions but have you been diagnosed with aspergers? One of the trademark signs is having problems picking up social cues or interpreting body language. One thing about socializing is it can be learned like RainyCoast mentioned through lots of practice. I found a site called SuceedSocially really helped explain a lot of social etiquette and social situations I couldn't wrap my head around growing up. For some reason people with aspergers have trouble picking it up even though they are otherwise completely functional people. But get a diagnosis first before assuming its aspergers. Good luck.

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    ~Seraphim ~
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    Getting a diagnosis can be pricey though. The cost of diagnosis for my son was $2000.

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    Balling2002
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    Thank you this helps a lot. - did you use to fill in the awkwardness with a joke or sarcasm? Because that's what I do. Or arrogant laughs. I notice I do that sometimes..

    I hope it's not asbergers.. but I had an easier time getting away with it when I was younger by avoiding certain situations/groups. The older I am getting I'm finding it more and more difficult. I feel I have been limiting myself.

    How is your son doing now after the diagnosis? And how does testing work?

  9. #8
    Snny
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~tom~ [Register to see the link]
    I wouldn't jump to conclusions but have you been diagnosed with aspergers? One of the trademark signs is having problems picking up social cues or interpreting body language. One thing about socializing is it can be learned like RainyCoast mentioned through lots of practice. I found a site called SuceedSocially really helped explain a lot of social etiquette and social situations I couldn't wrap my head around growing up. For some reason people with aspergers have trouble picking it up even though they are otherwise completely functional people. But get a diagnosis first before assuming its aspergers. Good luck.
    He could have ADHD or a specific learning disability instead. It isn't just autism that hinders reading social cues.

    I wouldn't trust websites to self diagnose- use the DSM-V.

    Quote Originally Posted by Balling2002 [Register to see the link]
    How is your son doing now after the diagnosis? And how does testing work?
    You schedule an appointment with a psychologist and they conduct assessments.

    Yes they are pricey, but once you find out if you have a disability, there is medication and therapy out there that can help you with work and social skills.

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    Capricorn3
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    Like others, I also got the feeling of aspergers or some form of autism or learning difficulty. The only way to find out is to see a medical professional and get a proper diagnosis.

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    ~Seraphim ~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Balling2002 [Register to see the link]
    Thank you this helps a lot. - did you use to fill in the awkwardness with a joke or sarcasm? Because that's what I do. Or arrogant laughs. I notice I do that sometimes..

    I hope it's not asbergers.. but I had an easier time getting away with it when I was younger by avoiding certain situations/groups. The older I am getting I'm finding it more and more difficult. I feel I have been limiting myself.

    How is your son doing now after the diagnosis? And how does testing work?
    My son is in college. He is still the same but he is fine with that. He sees zero wrong with being autistic. But he is very quiet and reclusive. The biggest change him is financial support from the province.

    The psychologist interviewed me and his dad for about an hour. He interviewed my son for a while as well . And then my son went through about eight hours of school skills testing . Language, math, basic knowledge etc. He answered a battery of psychological tests to determine if he had any psychological or personality problems . He did self answer tests for Aspergers. We answered tests . One of his teachers who knew him best answered test for psychological issues or any observance of Aspergers. I forget the name of the particular test for Aspergers but he rated 94% possibility.

    The psychologist then wrote a 32 page report laying out his four learning disabilities and stated that he was 100% sure that my son had Aspergers.

    The testing for my son was done when he was 17 his last year of high school . Now the testing for adults may be different and maybe mostly self introspection .

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