Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: comprehension problems

  1. #1
    Balling2002
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    6

    comprehension problems

    - I am 24 years old, physically healthy for the most part. I have a hard time keeping track of my finances, problems picking up on social cues and having fluent conversations within a group setting. sometimes I might say something that offends a person(unintentionally) or even come off as arrogant. Deep down inside these are not my intentions. Also I think I have a problem with my tonality. This causes me to sometimes get upset because of people miss understanding me or brushing me off. I also mis interpret what people are saying and their facial expressions. I've been faking it for a long time now. I also lack self awareness , safe to say this has caused many relationships to fail. I often hear people say things like, he just doesn't get it.. Or 'I'm a project' or I'm impossible.. And I just don't understand... Anyone else experience anything similar? Please help.

  2. #2
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    4,264
    social intelligence can be acquired! you mentioned depression, panic, anxiety, relationship problems last time, do you have anyone helping you with that?

  3. #3
    Balling2002
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    6
    I don't have anyone helping me with it right now. My fight or flight response is also heightened. - it's annoying,I'm now always paranoid about the worst thing happening.

  4. #4
    trojan
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    a place in the world
    Posts
    95
    Gender
    Male
    I used to be like you. And yes, I would overhear people say Im such a social clod. And I was forever saying the wrong thing, and people misunderstanding me, and me misunderstanding them, and being socially clueless and always doing and saying the wrong thing. I would try to attach myself to the wrong girl, try to become friends with the wrong crowd, do weird stuff like that.
    I went to college for a long time, and that was a big part of my change, but there are other ways to do it if college isnt an option.
    push yourself into a job were you have to relate to people, where you will get a lot of experience. Practice has a lot to do with it. Employers will always pigeon hole you into a job they think you will be good at, and so if they see your social skills are off kilter, you will only find jobs where you do not need to communicate to the public or deal with people.
    That was my situation where I work now, but I wanted something where I developed social skills. I had to push it because my boss didnt trust my social skills, but I got on as a trial basis,and it has become my full time job dealing with a wide variety of people and Ive gained a lot of confidence by this constant social interaction. I have to perform or I will be eaten alive.
    College helps a lot; it builds a foundation to work from. Age helps a lot too; its common to be sort of awkward at 24, and you may grow out of it. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in your job and challenging yourself with a more people oriented position puts you on the spot and you will have to quickly learn just to survive.
    Before I was pretty socially clutzy around people, but now somehow I am a group leader and do a lot of public speaking. I sort of had do do a lot of shoving to get this job, and it was really hard for me at first, because I had so little experience relating to people. After some years started to get smoother at it all, and now I feel I have become very good at it.

  5. #5
    ~tom~
    Gold Member ~tom~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    847
    I wouldn't jump to conclusions but have you been diagnosed with aspergers? One of the trademark signs is having problems picking up social cues or interpreting body language. One thing about socializing is it can be learned like RainyCoast mentioned through lots of practice. I found a site called SuceedSocially really helped explain a lot of social etiquette and social situations I couldn't wrap my head around growing up. For some reason people with aspergers have trouble picking it up even though they are otherwise completely functional people. But get a diagnosis first before assuming its aspergers. Good luck.

  6. #6
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    51
    Posts
    32,934
    Gender
    Female
    Getting a diagnosis can be pricey though. The cost of diagnosis for my son was $2000.

  7. #7
    Balling2002
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    6
    Thank you this helps a lot. - did you use to fill in the awkwardness with a joke or sarcasm? Because that's what I do. Or arrogant laughs. I notice I do that sometimes..

    I hope it's not asbergers.. but I had an easier time getting away with it when I was younger by avoiding certain situations/groups. The older I am getting I'm finding it more and more difficult. I feel I have been limiting myself.

    How is your son doing now after the diagnosis? And how does testing work?

  8. #8
    Snny
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    5,849
    Quote Originally Posted by ~tom~ [Register to see the link]
    I wouldn't jump to conclusions but have you been diagnosed with aspergers? One of the trademark signs is having problems picking up social cues or interpreting body language. One thing about socializing is it can be learned like RainyCoast mentioned through lots of practice. I found a site called SuceedSocially really helped explain a lot of social etiquette and social situations I couldn't wrap my head around growing up. For some reason people with aspergers have trouble picking it up even though they are otherwise completely functional people. But get a diagnosis first before assuming its aspergers. Good luck.
    He could have ADHD or a specific learning disability instead. It isn't just autism that hinders reading social cues.

    I wouldn't trust websites to self diagnose- use the DSM-V.

    Quote Originally Posted by Balling2002 [Register to see the link]
    How is your son doing now after the diagnosis? And how does testing work?
    You schedule an appointment with a psychologist and they conduct assessments.

    Yes they are pricey, but once you find out if you have a disability, there is medication and therapy out there that can help you with work and social skills.

  9. #9
    Capricorn3
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    13,437
    Like others, I also got the feeling of aspergers or some form of autism or learning difficulty. The only way to find out is to see a medical professional and get a proper diagnosis.

  10. #10
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    51
    Posts
    32,934
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by Balling2002 [Register to see the link]
    Thank you this helps a lot. - did you use to fill in the awkwardness with a joke or sarcasm? Because that's what I do. Or arrogant laughs. I notice I do that sometimes..

    I hope it's not asbergers.. but I had an easier time getting away with it when I was younger by avoiding certain situations/groups. The older I am getting I'm finding it more and more difficult. I feel I have been limiting myself.

    How is your son doing now after the diagnosis? And how does testing work?
    My son is in college. He is still the same but he is fine with that. He sees zero wrong with being autistic. But he is very quiet and reclusive. The biggest change him is financial support from the province.

    The psychologist interviewed me and his dad for about an hour. He interviewed my son for a while as well . And then my son went through about eight hours of school skills testing . Language, math, basic knowledge etc. He answered a battery of psychological tests to determine if he had any psychological or personality problems . He did self answer tests for Aspergers. We answered tests . One of his teachers who knew him best answered test for psychological issues or any observance of Aspergers. I forget the name of the particular test for Aspergers but he rated 94% possibility.

    The psychologist then wrote a 32 page report laying out his four learning disabilities and stated that he was 100% sure that my son had Aspergers.

    The testing for my son was done when he was 17 his last year of high school . Now the testing for adults may be different and maybe mostly self introspection .

  11.  

Top Threads
Nausea as a result of lying?
Long story short: a young man named Mike who I met on Tinder last month have decided to be a couple. Sadly, we also decided it would be best to keep
Had sex w/bf for 1st time; to get all the way in, he had to get over a "hump"
He and I actually tried having sex last week for the first time; when he tried to get in, I found it painful so he took it out. We tried again like
Car motion sickness a week before period
Has anyone experienced it ? I mean as passenger in a bus and in car. ..right when i got outside i was fine...
How to Gain Control, Over-OCD?
I have had OCD 4 years. Mine suffer, through my experiences knows no bound.OCD is classified as an anxiety disorder. It is also a neurological

Featured Threads
Red Flag if the guy on first date does not pay for my food?
A guys asked me out to a dinner and picked the restaurant. Toward the end, when the waiter came to drop off the bill, the waiter leaned toward the
narcissistic ex - help/ how to get back at him
So this is a post about a narcisisstic, immature ex. Not an ex boyfriend, not an ex boy, but something in between. It was something in between
University freshers fling?
[B]Hey there! [/B] Thank you so much for reading this. I just [I]REALLY [/I]need advice as it's SERIOUSLY affecting MY LIFE
Should you call out your ex when you find out they've been cheating on you?
Just some thoughts guys. Have you been cheated on? What did you do? Did you call your ex out on the lies and deceit? Or go on with your lives?
Ex is being so angry and hateful
I was in kind of relationship for almost 6-7 months but unexpectedly we broke up. He dumped. Just on a fight. Just day after our breakup. I went back
How to avoid checking up on ex social media?
Hi friends, Iím finding that posting here and seeing so many of us in the same boat is proving rather helpful in my own journey to move on. That
Break-up
Hi, I've recently just been broken up with by my girlfriend of two years, she has stated it wasn't all my fault and she is part to blame, but would
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •