Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Judgemental dad, how do i handle it

  1. #1
    chocolate_86
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne,Australia
    Posts
    177
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3

    Judgemental dad, how do i handle it

    My dad hates that my boyfriend and i rent. And he is vocal about it. He even said he isn't comfortable at our place and that its a dump.
    He goes on and on. "I can't believe your paying this much to live here, you should move "blah blah blah.

    Now its not a palace by any means, but its clean and apart from a few cracks in the walls from structure damage its good. And its quite big for an apartment.

    We never ask my mum and dad for money or his mum and dad, we pay for everything ourselves. We budget and we save. We both work full time.

    He even calls me and asks me whats our savings account looking like.

    My mum doesn't do this. She never makes any judgement or asks any questions about our finances.

    How do i deal with this?

  2. #2
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,428
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16624
    Minimize these conversations. Just keep saying 'we're doing fine, thanks' and change the subject. Does he object to you living together or not living at home? Does he object to your bf?
    Quote Originally Posted by chocolate_86 [Register to see the link]
    My dad hates that my boyfriend and i rent.
    He even calls me and asks me whats our savings account looking like.

  3. #3
    DancingFool
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    6,404
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    5197
    Next time he tells you that you shouldn't be living there, ask him what his solution to that is. Either he will quickly pipe down because he doesn't have one or he will tell you what's eating at him and what his advice is. Be prepared to hear him out, murmur some platitudes about how you will consider it or are working toward that and drop the convo. Don't start an argument.

    Sounds like he is anxious for you and your well being, but is expressing it poorly. Maybe consider just reassuring him that you are doing well and are secure and happy instead of getting defensive and reacting like he is criticizing you.

  4. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  5. #4
    journeynow
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    5,204
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1677
    I'd deflect it. "I love you, Dad." Don't engage in the topic. Don't agree or disagree, but saying "I love you, Dad" simply acknowledges him. Or if you can't bring yourself to say that, simply change the subject to a hobby or interest of his. When my dad was alive, I'd ask him about computers, weather, movies, or how he was feeling. Sometimes when he was really stuck on a divisive topic I'd have to say (as cheerfully as possible) "Let's talk about something else!" It really was about me training myself not to take the bait, and to steer the conversation to something better for me.

  6. Thanks RainyCoast, Wiseman2 thanked for this post
Top Threads
Bad grades; Children OR parent's fault??
**This is just a general question btw*** Personally, I say YES, providing the child is under 15, I believe that children that age ARE NOT MATURE
My parents died in a car accident when I was 14 – my grandparents refused to take me in ‘cause I’m m
My parents died in a car accident when I was 10. My father was black, and my mom was white. My dad grew up an orphan, so I was unable to be taken in
Overly-conservative parents + coping with bullying
I'm 19 and I am about to leave for university in a week. I just got into a major fight with my mother about something so stupidly irrelevant to this
Is it Weird? Hope not ...
I met my gf's family this past week. All went well, they visited from out of town and said that can't wait for us to go visit them in their house
How can I make my mom see a doctor?
Hi all, I'm a bit desperate and seeking all the advice I can get. My mom has been quite sick lately, to the point where she doesn't go to work
Well i was expecting to have a nice weekend with the family out of town but.....
It didnt turn out that way:( We travel to busch gardens for the weekend in VA and things was great on Friday when we arrived and all day Saturday
Hard forgiving people who gave birth to me
Hi there, I'm 22 years old I have been going through a lot. I don't know where to start at all since I'm writing this. When I was growing up I

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My boyfriend doesn't text me as much anymore?
My boyfriend would text me everyday all day and now he won't text me first anymore or at all sometimes. Last night he stopped replying to my text so
Is she the rebound
If he leaves a 17 year relationship to date his High School Sweetheart from 32 years ago, is she a rebound ?
I want to break NC after almost 2 months to invite my ex gf to a concert
We have been in NC for almost 2 months after being together for 6 years. She stopped responding to a text i sent her. I saw she was interested in
Online dating, and why it doesn't work well for most men
We discussed this before, and for some reason people got personal and mean about it. So I have no intention of returning to this thread, but I wanted
PLEASE HELP, boyfriend talks to mom 4-5 times per day, very odd relationship....
Hi guys, Always been hesitant to post my personal business online. Anyways... here it goes... So my boyfriend is amazing...(just to throw this
Hurtful joking
My bf jokes about things that are very hurtful. Today was probably one of the most hurtful. He tried to grab my breasts and he does this a lot. He's
He dumped me and won't return my stuff
So I was seeing a guy for a short amount of time. Out of the blue....he blocked me? Fair enough, I get the message, I think it's rude but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •