He got back in contact with me

Two years ago I remember talking to this guy online. He was very blunt and outspoken and kind of had the attitude where he didn't care what others thought about him. I liked how outspoken he was, I found it intriguing because I wasn't like that. So I remember we talked for a while, I loved talking to him, he was just a really interesting person and could hold a conversation.

I don't think we talked for that long before we lost touch, I think he said something that I didn't agree with and then it turned into a disagreement and I stopped talking to him. I honestly can't remember what the disagreement was over because it was such a long time ago.

Anyway on New Year's Eve I was on the chat room that we met on. I sometimes go on it when I'm bored and I get this message. This person says we used to talk and I couldn't remember for the life of me who he was. I just told him I was really sorry and that I didn't remember talking to him. I asked him if he could tell me some things about me if we really used to talk. Anyway it was him, turns out he remembered everything about me and all our chats and I felt so bad that I only remembered him after he reminded me of the times when we used to chat. It has been two years so I can't believe he remembers me.

Anyway so we've started talking again and it seems like his "I don't give a f" act might be an act. He remembers a lot of our conversations/things about me. The other day he started off a conversation by saying "I miss your charm and wisdom and all that stuff". I found this funny since he jokes all the time and didn't know whether he was being serious or not. When I asked if he was joking he said he was and that he doesn't tend to miss people. I just can't help, but feel like deep down he does care and he does miss people. If he didn't care about me or miss me then why does he remember everything about me?

I guess I'm just wondering why he wants to talk to me again all of a sudden.

Is he playing hard to get? Doesn't want to admit feelings, etc.

Is he playing hard to get? Doesn't want to admit feelings, etc.

I don't know, he's one of these people that are hard to figure out. To me it feels like he is playing hard to get, but an extreme version like "I'm impossible to get" or something lol. Like I mentioned he jokes a lot about everything so it's hard to know if he is being serious or not. He acts like he doesn't care, but it doesn't make sense because he talked to me for hours one day last week so I don't know.

maybe he's bored and desperate.

maybe he's bored and desperate)

 

I get your point, but if he was bored he could talk to anyone if he's bored so why me? Also I don't know if he's desperate because he's not exactly hitting me up every day.

are you really that interested in finding out?

i mean he's a screen name, you didn't even remember him, it doesn't sound like you lost something huge when you stopped talking.

the flattery of having someone remember you, tell you things that you can interpret as interest...it's useless. you can get better emotional investments from people than that. i meant, are you equally bored and desperate. i wouldn't ascribe this any value at all, even if i were in a slump, much less build up an analysis and fantasy of this guy "caring deep down".

there are people out there who don't require you to build up exonerating explanations in your mind to feel like you are cared about.

are you really that interested in finding out?

 

i mean he's a screen name, you didn't even remember him, it doesn't sound like you lost something huge when you stopped talking.

 

the flattery of having someone remember you, tell you things that you can interpret as interest...it's useless. you can get better emotional investments from people than that. i meant, are you equally bored and desperate. i wouldn't ascribe this any value at all, even if i were in a slump, much less build up an analysis and fantasy of this guy "caring deep down".

 

there are people out there who don't require you to build up exonerating explanations in your mind to feel like you are cared about.

No I'm not equally bored and desperate. You're right I didn't remember him so I didn't lose anything from not talking to him. He was the one that contacted me so I'm not building up a fantasy of him "caring about me deep down" I am just trying to understand him as a person.

he doesn't tend to miss people but he does miss you. Not all of his generalizations apply to you. He may not care about other people, but he may care for you.

he doesn't tend to miss people but he does miss you. Not all of his generalizations apply to you. He may not care about other people, but he may care for you.

Yes I think he may miss and care for me also.

so given that you couldn't for the life of you remember who he was, what is the benefit or significance of him potentially missing you and caring for you?

so given that you couldn't for the life of you remember who he was, what is the benefit or significance of him potentially missing you and caring for you?

To clarify it had been two years since I last spoke to him and I had spoken to many other guys after we stopped talking. I thought I would never talk to him again so naturally he went out of my mind, I think it's natural to put someone out of your mind if you don't talk to them for a long time. As soon as he told me a few facts about myself I remembered him and our conversations, etc.

There is no "benefit" or "significance" to him potentially missing and caring for me. It's more of an explanation as to why he has started to talk to me again.

of course it's normal to put him out of your mind. this wasn't someone you deeply cared for or who was a major influence in your life. this was just someone you talked to online.

and you're posting this under cyber relationships. so reading too much and ascribing too much significance to his reappearance goes with the context. it's quite a leap from wondering "what was that" to "someone cares about me", and wondering about that under the cyber relationship section.

i read those Gingerbread Latte Starbucks Thread, The Office Thread, The I Was Used thread etc. they all have one thing in common. one glance your way and it's in the romantic context for you. i've been shy for years too, i get it. i didn't go around openly setting up dates like most people can, i'm familiar with the subtler ways one learns to score a date if shy.

but i would be careful what i settle for, and what kind of investments i value enough to review in the context of emotionally significant exchange and relationships.

if you want to chat with him, chat. it doesn't require the conviction that you have some deep significance for him, or he for you. if you do, it'll become apparent anyway.

of course it's normal to put him out of your mind. this wasn't someone you deeply cared for or who was a major influence in your life. this was just someone you talked to online.

 

and you're posting this under cyber relationships. so reading too much and ascribing too much significance to his reappearance goes with the context. it's quite a leap from wondering "what was that" to "someone cares about me", and wondering about that under the cyber relationship section.

 

i read those Gingerbread Latte Starbucks Thread, The Office Thread, The I Was Used thread etc. they all have one thing in common. one glance your way and it's in the romantic context for you. i've been shy for years too, i get it. i didn't go around openly setting up dates like most people can, i'm familiar with the subtler ways one learns to score a date if shy.

 

but i would be careful what i settle for, and what kind of investments i value enough to review in the context of emotionally significant exchange and relationships.

 

if you want to chat with him, chat. it doesn't require the conviction that you have some deep significance for him, or he for you. if you do, it'll become apparent anyway.

I admit in the past I have read too much into situations. I am a romantic at heart and would love to know what love is someday. That's why in the past I have been so in love with the idea of being in love that any good sign I got from a guy I wanted to believe in my mind that he was interested. Also I am a writer and so I naturally let my imagination run away with me. I have learnt from those experiences I talked about in my previous threads so don't get it twisted.

I am just taking it for what it is, I'm just chatting to this guy, a relationship isn't going to happen, I may be a romantic, but I know the difference between fantasy and reality. I may have read too much into things in the past, but when a guy flat out insinuates that he misses me I don't think I'm wrong to question if that is why he started talking to me again. It's just me being curious, that's all there is to it.

I have an idea... why dont you just stop asking why? Who the heck cares why he is talking to you again. I think he is because you let him. You said you came back on and he could of been on there for a while so chatting with you was opportunistic. Dont dive into his mind or thoughts. Just accept.