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Thread: First Date: 24 old asian girl and 34 yr white male- Interesting Story

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    Lion-Guy
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    First Date: 24 old asian girl and 34 yr white male- Interesting Story

    Hey guys, had a first date tonight with a conservative 24 yr old Asian girl. I'm 34 yr white male, avg. handsome with a very good job. Met online dating site.


    1. The girl showed up to date even though she said she felt not well. She specially said she felt bad but didn't well but didn't want to cancel on me. We had a beer and great conversation and when I told her we should leave home she suggested "where to next?"
    2. Tried to hold her hand to next place and she wasn't into it, didn't "know me well enough" and it "Felt weird" she said, fair enough
    3. Next bar and 3 drinks in, she really opened up to me and told me about her family, mom passed away, how she gets attached easily and heart has been heart broken. Her heart is guarded. She doesn't like that guys get upset that she is not good with her phone and messages. The eye contact and leaning over the table was amazing on her part, I felt like the indicators of interest were great. Suggested she join me for a concert saturday and played the music, she said was more into hard rock and never answered if she wanted to come or not, they are $300 tickets, I'd rather bring her then other girls but she never said yes
    4. Walked her back to her car and I said are you finally going to hold my hand? in a funny way and she said "just bc other girls do stupid stuff when they are drunk, I don't" in a polite away. She gave me a ride to my car and hugged her good bye. The kiss seemed liked a far reach after she didn't want to hold my hand. Normally I kiss every girl goodnight whether I get turned down or not, but didn't on this one.
    5. Texted her when I got home saying good to meet you and something interesting about you. NO RESPONSE for 2 hrs. Then it was "home safe, good to meet you".
    6. Normally I have no issue walking away with a first date, not thinking much for a few day, but this girl had me thinking.....


    did I do wrong or is he playing hard to get? All the other girls in the past write back right away or hold my had no problem. So confused, thought it went so well, she stayed till I wanted to leave and the eye contact was amazing. Am I overthinking this ladies? During the the date I felt like I she liked me way more, now I am feel lost. I am currently seeing several girls first and second dates as I am recently single. But this girl really interested me more then others.

    Much thanks for any constructive feedback.

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    jujusamples
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    This is just my opinion, not sure it's an Asian thing or not but I'm Asian and I find the way your date acted is pretty normal;

    1) Yes, holding hands on the first meeting is a bit much, it would actually made me feel awkward and thinks the dude is going on too strong!
    2) Yes, you are thinking too much into this, you know why, I think you are interested in her. You probably felt something you didn't feel with the other woman you are seeing or dating.
    3) I don't think she's playing hard to get. I think she probably went home, had things to do, like wash up and etc.. so she probably didn't response to you until she's about to go bed. (that's just my guess because it's something I would do)
    4) She's probably not thinking into it as much as you at this moment. So the ball is in your court because I think you have a thing for her.
    5) Just go for it, it doesn't hurt to try! Good luck!

    Forgot to mention; It's not cool to drink and drive by the way.

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    pippy longstocking
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    So you both drunk drived is what I am getting from this ...

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    angrythoughts
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    Quote Originally Posted by pippy longstocking [Register to see the link]
    So you both drunk drived is what I am getting from this ...
    That's hilarious 😂

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    pippy longstocking
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    Quote Originally Posted by angrythoughts [Register to see the link]
    That's hilarious 😂
    I think I am just a bit old and sad , but honestly AT that was my first thought !

    I do think op you are showing the whole pull push thing as a fine example ... the more she pulled away on this date the more you wanted to push ... she got your interest by not being full on with you . She didn't reciprocate and your interest has doubled ..it is interesting ..As humans ( well some of us are human ) we seem to gravitate to the person who poses a challenge .

    I would ask her out again and take it from there ..she may be a girl who takes it very slow and very carefully , and there is nothing wrong with that . A lot of girls would feel it a bit too much to hold hands straight away and have a kiss ..

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    IAmFCA
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    She made conversation with a lively and familiar manner. She enjoyed the outing. That's all we know.

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  12. #7
    Lion-Guy
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    I agree. I certainly don't drink and drive. I took an Uber home and left my car. 3 beers over the span of 3 hrs. I asked her several times if I could get her an uber, but she insisted she was ok to drive. I honestly think she was, but I'm with you guys.

    Appreciate the responses. I don't think hand holding is a bid deal, the last 3 dates held my hand no problem, but they def were not as conservative as her. Thanks for the women's perspective [Register to see the link] . Sheds a lot of light on things.

    I should stop caring so much about her and wait till she expresses more interest. I don't see how the ball is in my court.

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    jujusamples
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lion-Guy [Register to see the link]
    I agree. I certainly don't drink and drive. I took an Uber home and left my car. 3 beers over the span of 3 hrs. I asked her several times if I could get her an uber, but she insisted she was ok to drive. I honestly think she was, but I'm with you guys.

    Appreciate the responses. I don't think hand holding is a bid deal, the last 3 dates held my hand no problem, but they def were not as conservative as her. Thanks for the women's perspective [Register to see the link] . Sheds a lot of light on things.

    I should stop caring so much about her and wait till she expresses more interest. I don't see how the ball is in my court.
    Okay, maybe it's an Asian thing! LOL The ball is in your court is because, she did show some interest and I'm assuming she' a bit old fashion as in she wants the guy to initiate. I say, if you like her, go for it as in try texting her or something again in a few days. Is hands holding on the first date really normal? I dunno I find it too much and will make me feel a little awkward.

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    pippy longstocking
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    I agree. I certainly don't drink and drive. I took an Uber home and left my car. 3 beers over the span of 3 hrs. I asked her several times if I could get her an uber, but she insisted she was ok to drive. I honestly think she was, but I'm with you guys.
    good lad , I am so pleased to read that and sorry for accusing you .

    as far as the holding hands ...I would probably hedge a 50/50 bet on it ... as in half of the women in my none existent survey would and the other half wouldn't and i don't think you can gauge her interest by this . Not yet anyway . Same as the first date kiss ...
    She is getting to know you first .

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    Lion-Guy
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    Quote Originally Posted by pippy longstocking [Register to see the link]
    you are showing the whole pull push thing as a fine example ... the more she pulled away on this date the more you wanted to push ... she got your interest by not being full on with you . She didn't reciprocate and your interest has doubled ..it is interesting ..As humans ( well some of us are human ) we seem to gravitate to the person who poses a challenge .

    I would ask her out again and take it from there ..she may be a girl who takes it very slow and very carefully , and there is nothing wrong with that . A lot of girls would feel it a bit too much to hold hands straight away and have a kiss ..
    Totally. I wasn't used to that. She is younger then the other girls. She wouldn't stop talking about how she want to find her true love and not waste time dating another guy for two months etc. So she is looking for something serious. As I am too. 4 months ago got out of a 5 yr relationship where the girl cheated on me. Just going on dates have been a big jump getting back into the game. But something I am certainly ready for and I am totally over my ex. I deserve better.

    I kissed and held hands on the last 3 first dates like it was nothing. Then again I am pretty good at building attraction and comfort. Obviously not good enough with this particular fine women.

    I guess it is time for me to play the game, not respond for a few days and pull away. Hope that works. I'll ask her for another date in a few days.

    Thanks everyone. Will let you know how to goes.

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