I've put my scale away

So I read this article a few days ago and it really resonated with me:

 

The article was right, my mood and how enthusiastic I am to exercise and eat well that day was often affected by the number on the scale. I weighed myself daily even though the general advice is to measure weekly at most, to allow for fluctuations. It was just a habit that I don't even think about, I just do it, because it's right there.

 

So after reading this article, I decided, the writer is right! All I want is look great and feel great, why do I care what's the number on the scale and whether I've reached some arbitrary goal weight? It's not like anyone else knows what my weight is or could even tell if I'm at my goal weight or a bit higher or lower, it literally doesn't mean anything to anyone looks or health wise, other than to make myself feel good. Except it doesn't make me feel good, it makes me feel discouraged.

 

So, I decided to put the scale away that very day. It's been a few days now and so far I'm loving it! I've been exercising and eating well, and feel really good and love the way I look. In the mornings and at night, the thought of weighing myself would pop up like clock work, then I would remember that the scale is hidden away now, and that's when I realised I actually felt relieved and instantly felt good about my body, as opposed to looking at the number and let that dictate how I feel.

 

It was such a habit and subconscious thought process, I never even realised I felt this way. It's an unhealthy relationship with the scale that I didn't even know I had and I'm glad I'm taking steps to break it.

 

I'm sure I'm not the only one. So many of my (female) friends rely on that number on the scale and have a goal weight, and 90% of the time, they never reach their goal weight, or they do only for a short time, of course they'd feel dissatisfied even though they look great to me, and they'd continue to attempt to lose weight to reach that goal. So they are perpetually in this weight loss and diet process, instead of just striving for good health, feel good and look good.

 

I thought it would be a good idea to share the link here, in the hopes of inspiring others to also put the scale away. If not, it's still an interesting read.

I refuse to have a set of scales . I was very into the world of fitness and sculptured bodies in my 20's and 30's and it is true ...your mood can drop to a depressing level and at the same time be elevated ..however you just run from that ..you keep getting on ..just to check .. It is a bad place to be ....

 

I had my daughter and have never allowed us to have scales .. I am not setting her up for a fall , because that is what will happen ...

Good decision.

 

When I trained folks who explicitly wanted to lose weight, I never explicitly had them ditch the scale from the get-go, particularly if they were very overweight and it'd be awhile before you could quantify the progress in other ways, but I made sure they knew it's 100% about the trend, not the actual number. Whether or not you've had some alcohol or sodium rich foods can push your water levels up or down 3 pounds on any given day. You'll go mad thinking the number itself is accurate. What matters is that, over the course of a couple weeks, you can draw a line that slopes downward, even if slightly. It's about learning your body, and once you've done that, there's nothing a scale can tell you that you don't already know.

 

But, at the end of this day, this...

 

I've been exercising and eating well, and feel really good and love the way I look.

 

... is all that matters. For most people who aren't morbidly obese, you'll do yourself a lot better simply gunning for this rather than racing to your ideal weight on a scale. Especially as you do actually start losing the weight and getting leaner, focusing too hard on lowering that number on the scale can drive folks to simply lose weight rather than fat. That's when you get the extreme fasters who 600 calorie their way to 135 pounds and look like they've got a musculoskeletal disorder because they've got all but two pounds of lean muscle left to their name.

 

Eating right, exercising, and feeling good? A good up and down look at yourself in the mirror maybe once a month is probably all you need to be doing-- assuming you're trying to lose weight rather than simply feel healthy.

 

Sounds like you're doing everything right. Very motivating stuff. Keep up the great work.

I stopped weighing myself regularly when I got pregnant 8 years ago because I was weighed often at the doctor's and also - well, who cared? I had an unhealthy relationship with the scale for many years and was never overweight. I don't own a scale and I only get weighed at the doctor if I really have to (my weight stays very constant and I am slim). For me personally with my type A stuff it was too much, too stressful, etc. I weighed myself regularly -often every day - for about 25 years. Good for you!

I was always slim growing up, no matter how much I ate, and used to weigh less and had a flat tummy. When I was in my last LTR, we ate a lot of unhealthy things, ate large portions etc, I wasn't mindful, because I never thought I'd gain weight. Before I knew it, I gained 5-6 kg (which is a 10% gain). After we broke up, I worked hard and lost that weight and went back to roughly what I weighed before that. In the last couple of years, it's creeping up a bit again and I was never back to my previous weight (goal weight) again. So it's been a constant effort to try and lose weight. I'm still slim so I really don't know what's with this "obsession". I think I just really dislike the slight bulge that now resides on my tummy lol...

 

After a while I reassessed my priorities, and realised that it's not about getting back to my previous weight, it's just about getting more toned in general and particularly some "problem areas", and eating well. After reading that article I realised weighing constantly wasn't helping or even complementing that goal, and was in fact affecting how I feel about myself.

I'll go read that article now.

I have a big issue with the scales. Right now I am weighing everyday, sometimes even at night. And my mood is completely affected by the number I see.

I've tried ditching it...I put on weight.

I've tried weighing once a week, once a month.I've tried to accept myself as I am. I've been dieting and failing every single week and it's painful.

I am 147 lbs and all I want to be is 140. Its not a lot to ask but the difference in those 7 pounds is the difference between feeling comfortable or uncomfortable, lovely or frumpy. I feel like everyone must notice that I've put on these 7 pounds, I'm aware they probably don't but still...what if they do.

So yep, its a problem.

Happy dance for you !

I'll go read that article now.

I have a big issue with the scales. Right now I am weighing everyday, sometimes even at night. And my mood is completely affected by the number I see.

I've tried ditching it...I put on weight.

I've tried weighing once a week, once a month.I've tried to accept myself as I am. I've been dieting and failing every single week and it's painful.

I am 147 lbs and all I want to be is 140. Its not a lot to ask but the difference in those 7 pounds is the difference between feeling comfortable or uncomfortable, lovely or frumpy. I feel like everyone must notice that I've put on these 7 pounds, I'm aware they probably don't but still...what if they do.

So yep, its a problem.

 

People barely noticed when I gained 5-6 kgs (~10 pounds). Last time I weighed myself, I'm roughly 3 kg (~6 pounds) away from my previous "goal weight" and no one notices.

 

Believe it or not, people really don't care nor pay that much attention lol...

 

Also if you stop exercising and eating well without the scale, it says to me that you need new goals and new measurements, not linked to that number on the scale.

 

For instance, it could be improving your body composition, gain muscle and lose fat (not the same as losing weight). It can be to eating healthy, to get stronger, look more toned, and feel and look good. All of these things will lead to weight loss eventually, but that's just a side effect / bonus. When the goal is being healthy and active and looking and feeling good about yourself, it becomes not about dieting or eating less or going hard at the gym to get to the "goal weight" fast, it becomes a lifestyle change.

 

You can do circumference measurements, waist, arms, hips etc to keep track of your progress (only measuring weekly or less), it's much slower for progress to show in circumference and not as much fluctuation.

 

I find when my weight goes up and up, it's because I've been eating junk, oily stuff, unhealthy fat, sugar less so since I don't have sweet tooth, or way overeating, and it makes me feel "fat", in reality, it's feeling bloated, sluggish, lack energy etc. The weight gain is only a side effect. Once I start eating healthy again, no dieting, no being hungry or starving myself, and exercising, I feel good and energetic, and that "weighed down" feeling goes away, and my weight naturally drops (albeit slowly over time) which is an added bonus.

 

Also to note, the problem with having a weight goal is, that number is not sustainable. Once you reach that goal, you'll likely slack off and stop doing all the things you were doing to get there. So you stop eating right and exercising and quickly, the weight you lost comes back (or at least some of it), and sometimes it's just fluctuation. So once again, you're not at your "goal weight", and you get caught in the cycle of forever dieting and obsessing about getting to that number, rather than just focus on living a healthy lifestyle.

 

If you think of the weight only as the symptom of your "problem" (for the lack of better word), rather than the problem itself, your focus shifts and you have a much better chance at putting in place some long term life style change.

To add to my last post, and interesting contrast, one of my friends was always one of those people that gain weight easily and had always been overweight. Several years ago, she really put in the effort and lost a lot of weight, and she felt good about herself.

 

But the last few years, she gained a lot of weight because she was no longer in "weight loss mode". She refused to weigh herself because she's afraid to see that number on the scale, while continuing to eat unhealthy, overeating, not exercising. She didn't know what that number is, but still felt bad about herself, felt unattractive, felt "fat" (bloated, sluggish, unfit etc).

 

In that instance, not weighing herself didn't help, but to me, it didn't hurt either, because weight and measuring weight was not the problem, having an unhealthy lifestyle and not focussed on being healthy and active is the problem. She didn't need the number on the scale to tell her she was feeling unhealthy.

 

So to me, it's about lifestyle and health, not weight. I know once I changed my focus, it felt like the weight has been lifted (bad pun), I felt relieved I have a good lifestyle goal and no longer have to focus on getting to that "magic number" that seems so close yet so far. It takes getting used to, but I'm feeling good about it.

 

So to me, it's about lifestyle and health, not weight.

 

For me it's about lifestyle and health, and how good do I look in my jeans! LOL

 

I wear the low-to mid-rise skinnys and if I gain an OUNCE, it's gonna show wearing those jeans!

 

So I actually don't need a scale, but generally speaking, I think it's wise to not obsess over the number.

 

Even weight loss gurus don't advise weighing yourself that often.

 

Our weight fluctuates and on days it's up, it can really get you down and like you said, actually prevent you from doing the things you should do to maintain a low weight.

 

I wonder if men go through this too! Or would they even admit to?

 

Guys?

Katrina, yes it's also about looking good, but I think looking good is also just a result of being generally healthy and active. It's a good motivation of course!

 

When I gain weight, it goes to my tummy, so it shows up if I wear anything that are figure hugging around that area, on the flip side, when I've been eating well and being active, my tummy goes down and I look good in those clothes. So it definitely motivates me!

 

Unless it's someone very overweight or obese, I don't think guys focus much on losing or gaining weight, I think guys are more focused on gaining muscle / losing fat and want to look muscular or defined, which is something the scale can't measure.

Katrina, yes it's also about looking good, but I think looking good is also just a result of being generally healthy and active. It's a good motivation of course!

 

When I gain weight, it goes to my tummy, so it shows up if I wear anything that are figure hugging around that area, on the flip side, when I've been eating well and being active, my tummy goes down and I look good in those clothes. So it definitely motivates me!

 

Unless it's someone very overweight or obese, I don't think guys focus much on losing or gaining weight, I think guys are more focused on gaining muscle / losing fat and want to look muscular or defined, which is something the scale can't measure.

 

So this reminded me of a one-meet-wonder I had with a guy from a dating site, over a dozen years ago. He was in his 30s and had been a child actor. He was extremely thin and obsessed with his body fat percentage (I think he said it was 8%??). So we met for coffee at a cafe that had yummy desserts. He ordered plain coffee as did I and it was obvious he wouldn't eat any sweets. I couldn't resist so I ordered a biscotti and pointedly offered him half just to see him squirm and decline. It really was unhealthy -his focus. What a turn off. As I wonder maybe it's the same in reverse for men who date women who are overly obsessed with diet/body image?

So this reminded me of a one-meet-wonder I had with a guy from a dating site, over a dozen years ago. He was in his 30s and had been a child actor. He was extremely thin and obsessed with his body fat percentage (I think he said it was 8%??). So we met for coffee at a cafe that had yummy desserts. He ordered plain coffee as did I and it was obvious he wouldn't eat any sweets. I couldn't resist so I ordered a biscotti and pointedly offered him half just to see him squirm and decline. It really was unhealthy -his focus. What a turn off. As I wonder maybe it's the same in reverse for men who date women who are overly obsessed with diet/body image?

 

I think over obsession in body image / diet is never attractive regardless of gender, especially when that obsession affects how you interact (eg if they wouldn't eat certain things and make faces or lecture you when you do).

So this reminded me of a one-meet-wonder I had with a guy from a dating site, over a dozen years ago. He was in his 30s and had been a child actor. He was extremely thin and obsessed with his body fat percentage (I think he said it was 8%??). So we met for coffee at a cafe that had yummy desserts. He ordered plain coffee as did I and it was obvious he wouldn't eat any sweets. I couldn't resist so I ordered a biscotti and pointedly offered him half just to see him squirm and decline. It really was unhealthy -his focus. What a turn off.

 

I agree. My experience is that it's a turn off to women when men are considered "too focused on health/nutrition". Men should always be focused on fun, and nothing logical with women.

 

The last woman that I was seeing had a "moment" when we were out together eating, and I was careful about what I was having. I didn't even comment on her food at all.

 

She defensively started to ask me questions about nutrition, which put her in a bad light. It was merely projection, or as my father would say "you will suffer for the insecurities of others".

 

As I wonder maybe it's the same in reverse for men who date women who are overly obsessed with diet/body image?

 

It's the opposite.

 

The only meaningful data that a guy takes from that is how she will maintain a good body. We don't attach characteristics to behaviour with nearly the same awareness.

 

Even when we do, it takes an effort. It certainly doesn't come natural.

For me it's about lifestyle and health, and how good do I look in my jeans! LOL

 

I wear the low-to mid-rise skinnys and if I gain an OUNCE, it's gonna show wearing those jeans!

 

So I actually don't need a scale, but generally speaking, I think it's wise to not obsess over the number.

 

Even weight loss gurus don't advise weighing yourself that often.

 

Our weight fluctuates and on days it's up, it can really get you down and like you said, actually prevent you from doing the things you should do to maintain a low weight.

 

I wonder if men go through this too! Or would they even admit to?

 

Guys?

I fluctuate between 10 and 15 pounds depending on the season. I'm short (5'7") and I'm pretty lean, so gaining 10 or 15 pounds definitely shows. I actually have jeans ranging from 29" to 34" (really try to avoid the latter extreme) just to make sure I've got a fitting pair any given month. My girlfriend likes to grab my belly fat during winters. It's a seasonal novelty to her. I've never taken it badly because it's the choice I make to happily indulge during the holidays. February comes along, I shelf the bourbon and start putting in the work to get rid of it and am ready before summer. I never get yuuuuuuge by any means. I work out regularly and play sports, so I carry the weight pretty well, but I'll catch myself toeing the line every few years.

 

I also grew up fat, though. Was over 200 pounds and like 5'1" my fresshman year of high school. Grew a few inches during, but had to put in the work to lose it join the Army. Lost much more while I was actually in. It might because I came out of that scenario that I've never really looked at the number on the scale and felt depressed or stuck. It's more of, "Well, damn... looks like I'll have to only eat two oreos instead of an entire sleeve for a few months."

I fluctuate between 10 and 15 pounds depending on the season. I'm short (5'7") and I'm pretty lean, so gaining 10 or 15 pounds definitely shows. I actually have jeans ranging from 29" to 34" (really try to avoid the latter extreme) just to make sure I've got a fitting pair any given month. My girlfriend likes to grab my belly fat during winters. It's a seasonal novelty to her. I've never taken it badly because it's the choice I make to happily indulge during the holidays. February comes along, I shelf the bourbon and start putting in the work to get rid of it and am ready before summer. I never get yuuuuuuge by any means. I work out regularly and play sports, so I carry the weight pretty well, but I'll catch myself toeing the line every few years.

 

I also grew up fat, though. Was over 200 pounds and like 5'1" my fresshman year of high school. Grew a few inches during, but had to put in the work to lose it join the Army. Lost much more while I was actually in. It might because I came out of that scenario that I've never really looked at the number on the scale and felt depressed or stuck.

 

It's more of, "Well, damn... looks like I'll have to only eat two oreos instead of an entire sleeve for a few months."

 

First off, congrats on your weight loss!

 

My mom was a former model and obsessed with weight which wasn't a healthy environment for me to grow up in, but I managed to work my way through it and now, even tho I am still quite thin (5'6" approx. - 115 pounds), I am healthy, I exercise, feel good! For the most part.

 

I don't really watch "what" I eat, I eat what I want, my attitude is more "everything in moderation."

 

Last night for example, on my way home I bought myself a slice of Tres Leches cake, which will take me about four days to consume (a quarter of it each night).

 

As opposed to the entire slice in one sitting, which being that the portion sizes are huge, I could never imagine doing, although I am sure many people would have no problem doing!

 

I mentioned wearing the low-mid rise skinnys (tongue-n-cheek) only to explain why I don't need a scale.

 

Today I put them on and I KNOW I've gained cause they feel tighter than usual, but it's okay, I'm not down about it... I know I will lose it in a couple of days, probably without having to do anything other than my usual routine, so it's all good!

First off, congrats on your weight loss!

 

My mom was a former model and obsessed with weight which wasn't a healthy environment for me to grow up in, but I managed to work my way through it and now, even tho I am still quite thin (5'6" approx. - 115 pounds), I am healthy, I exercise, feel good! For the most part.

 

I don't really watch "what" I eat, I eat what I want, my attitude is more "everything in moderation."

 

Last night for example, on my way home I bought myself a slice of Tres Leches cake, which will take me about four days to consume (a quarter of it each night).

 

As opposed to the entire slice in one sitting, which being that the portion sizes are huge, I could never imagine doing, although I am sure many people would have no problem doing!

 

I mentioned wearing the low-mid rise skinnys (tongue-n-cheek) only to explain why I don't need a scale.

 

Today I put them on and I KNOW I've gained cause they feel tighter than usual, but it's okay, I'm not down about it... I know I will lose it in a couple of days, probably without having to do anything other than my usual routine, so it's all good!

 

I do the same thing with portion control and eating everything but I have good genetics on my side. By contrast, we had lunch with our cousin the other day. She has struggled with weight the 20 plus years I've known her. For a long time she was on Weight Watchers and did great. I think when she got married -in her 30s -she let herself go as in "got my man, who cares now". She's never been pregnant so it's not that. We went to brunch and she ordered one of those huge french toast dishes -this one soaked in chocolate and bourbon -and she ate the entire plate -the manager came over and said (rude!) that he'd never seen anyone finish it. Later, she had ice cream. I am not writing this to be judgy but because it's obvious she is not in tune with her body -she is a short person and that huge intake of sugar and fat just can't be good and I am certain it's not about satisfying natural hunger. I feel sad for her -she was even a Weight Watchers rep for awhile. Not because she's heavy but because of her letting herself go and her health risks if she eats like this in any regular way. And no I would never ever say anything to her. If she asked me, sure. But, she didn't.

 

I do think genetics plays a role -for me it was being in tune with my body and what it needs -both to satiate hunger and also what kind of food (protein/sweet/fat, combo). If I eat sweets when I'm really hungry it's a disaster, especially mood-wise. But when I dieted (not because I was heavy) I quickly became out of touch with my real hunger and simply felt deprived and rebelled.

 

Good for you, NAL, for recognizing what you need and what your body needs - you don't need a scale to know how to take care of yourself. Others might but this will be part of a great perspective that will bleed over into other ways of taking care of yourself.

It's been a month without the scale, I still feel happy with the decision and don't feel like I need to weight myself. Still going to the gym and keeping fit. Having a non-weight related goal has been working pretty well, I'll say!

I haven't weighed now for 2 weeks. I'm eating healthy food but some days more of it than I should. I have no idea if I'm up or down or the same. I'm trying to judge by my clothes and by that I'd say I am the same.