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Thread: I've put my scale away

  1. #11
    notalady
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    Katrina, yes it's also about looking good, but I think looking good is also just a result of being generally healthy and active. It's a good motivation of course!

    When I gain weight, it goes to my tummy, so it shows up if I wear anything that are figure hugging around that area, on the flip side, when I've been eating well and being active, my tummy goes down and I look good in those clothes. So it definitely motivates me!

    Unless it's someone very overweight or obese, I don't think guys focus much on losing or gaining weight, I think guys are more focused on gaining muscle / losing fat and want to look muscular or defined, which is something the scale can't measure.

  2. #12
    Batya33
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    Quote Originally Posted by notalady [Register to see the link]
    Katrina, yes it's also about looking good, but I think looking good is also just a result of being generally healthy and active. It's a good motivation of course!

    When I gain weight, it goes to my tummy, so it shows up if I wear anything that are figure hugging around that area, on the flip side, when I've been eating well and being active, my tummy goes down and I look good in those clothes. So it definitely motivates me!

    Unless it's someone very overweight or obese, I don't think guys focus much on losing or gaining weight, I think guys are more focused on gaining muscle / losing fat and want to look muscular or defined, which is something the scale can't measure.
    So this reminded me of a one-meet-wonder I had with a guy from a dating site, over a dozen years ago. He was in his 30s and had been a child actor. He was extremely thin and obsessed with his body fat percentage (I think he said it was 8%??). So we met for coffee at a cafe that had yummy desserts. He ordered plain coffee as did I and it was obvious he wouldn't eat any sweets. I couldn't resist so I ordered a biscotti and pointedly offered him half just to see him squirm and decline. It really was unhealthy -his focus. What a turn off. As I wonder maybe it's the same in reverse for men who date women who are overly obsessed with diet/body image?

  3. #13
    notalady
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    Quote Originally Posted by Batya33 [Register to see the link]
    So this reminded me of a one-meet-wonder I had with a guy from a dating site, over a dozen years ago. He was in his 30s and had been a child actor. He was extremely thin and obsessed with his body fat percentage (I think he said it was 8%??). So we met for coffee at a cafe that had yummy desserts. He ordered plain coffee as did I and it was obvious he wouldn't eat any sweets. I couldn't resist so I ordered a biscotti and pointedly offered him half just to see him squirm and decline. It really was unhealthy -his focus. What a turn off. As I wonder maybe it's the same in reverse for men who date women who are overly obsessed with diet/body image?
    I think over obsession in body image / diet is never attractive regardless of gender, especially when that obsession affects how you interact (eg if they wouldn't eat certain things and make faces or lecture you when you do).

  4. #14
    Jason12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Batya33 [Register to see the link]
    So this reminded me of a one-meet-wonder I had with a guy from a dating site, over a dozen years ago. He was in his 30s and had been a child actor. He was extremely thin and obsessed with his body fat percentage (I think he said it was 8%??). So we met for coffee at a cafe that had yummy desserts. He ordered plain coffee as did I and it was obvious he wouldn't eat any sweets. I couldn't resist so I ordered a biscotti and pointedly offered him half just to see him squirm and decline. It really was unhealthy -his focus. What a turn off.
    I agree. My experience is that it's a turn off to women when men are considered "too focused on health/nutrition". Men should always be focused on fun, and nothing logical with women.

    The last woman that I was seeing had a "moment" when we were out together eating, and I was careful about what I was having. I didn't even comment on her food at all.

    She defensively started to ask me questions about nutrition, which put her in a bad light. It was merely projection, or as my father would say "you will suffer for the insecurities of others".

    Quote Originally Posted by Batya33 [Register to see the link]
    As I wonder maybe it's the same in reverse for men who date women who are overly obsessed with diet/body image?
    It's the opposite.

    The only meaningful data that a guy takes from that is how she will maintain a good body. We don't attach characteristics to behaviour with nearly the same awareness.

    Even when we do, it takes an effort. It certainly doesn't come natural.

  5. #15
    j.man
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    Quote Originally Posted by katrina1980 [Register to see the link]
    For me it's about lifestyle and health, and how good do I look in my jeans! LOL

    I wear the low-to mid-rise skinnys and if I gain an OUNCE, it's gonna show wearing those jeans!

    So I actually don't need a scale, but generally speaking, I think it's wise to not obsess over the number.

    Even weight loss gurus don't advise weighing yourself that often.

    Our weight fluctuates and on days it's up, it can really get you down and like you said, actually prevent you from doing the things you should do to maintain a low weight.

    I wonder if men go through this too! Or would they even admit to?

    Guys?
    I fluctuate between 10 and 15 pounds depending on the season. I'm short (5'7") and I'm pretty lean, so gaining 10 or 15 pounds definitely shows. I actually have jeans ranging from 29" to 34" (really try to avoid the latter extreme) just to make sure I've got a fitting pair any given month. My girlfriend likes to grab my belly fat during winters. It's a seasonal novelty to her. I've never taken it badly because it's the choice I make to happily indulge during the holidays. February comes along, I shelf the bourbon and start putting in the work to get rid of it and am ready before summer. I never get yuuuuuuge by any means. I work out regularly and play sports, so I carry the weight pretty well, but I'll catch myself toeing the line every few years.

    I also grew up fat, though. Was over 200 pounds and like 5'1" my fresshman year of high school. Grew a few inches during, but had to put in the work to lose it join the Army. Lost much more while I was actually in. It might because I came out of that scenario that I've never really looked at the number on the scale and felt depressed or stuck. It's more of, "Well, damn... looks like I'll have to only eat two oreos instead of an entire sleeve for a few months."

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  7. #16
    katrina1980
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    Quote Originally Posted by j.man [Register to see the link]
    I fluctuate between 10 and 15 pounds depending on the season. I'm short (5'7") and I'm pretty lean, so gaining 10 or 15 pounds definitely shows. I actually have jeans ranging from 29" to 34" (really try to avoid the latter extreme) just to make sure I've got a fitting pair any given month. My girlfriend likes to grab my belly fat during winters. It's a seasonal novelty to her. I've never taken it badly because it's the choice I make to happily indulge during the holidays. February comes along, I shelf the bourbon and start putting in the work to get rid of it and am ready before summer. I never get yuuuuuuge by any means. I work out regularly and play sports, so I carry the weight pretty well, but I'll catch myself toeing the line every few years.

    I also grew up fat, though. Was over 200 pounds and like 5'1" my fresshman year of high school. Grew a few inches during, but had to put in the work to lose it join the Army. Lost much more while I was actually in. It might because I came out of that scenario that I've never really looked at the number on the scale and felt depressed or stuck.

    It's more of, "Well, damn... looks like I'll have to only eat two oreos instead of an entire sleeve for a few months
    ."
    First off, congrats on your weight loss!

    My mom was a former model and obsessed with weight which wasn't a healthy environment for me to grow up in, but I managed to work my way through it and now, even tho I am still quite thin (5'6" approx. - 115 pounds), I am healthy, I exercise, feel good! For the most part.

    I don't really watch "what" I eat, I eat what I want, my attitude is more "everything in moderation."

    Last night for example, on my way home I bought myself a slice of Tres Leches cake, which will take me about four days to consume (a quarter of it each night).

    As opposed to the entire slice in one sitting, which being that the portion sizes are huge, I could never imagine doing, although I am sure many people would have no problem doing!

    I mentioned wearing the low-mid rise skinnys (tongue-n-cheek) only to explain why I don't need a scale.

    Today I put them on and I KNOW I've gained cause they feel tighter than usual, but it's okay, I'm not down about it... I know I will lose it in a couple of days, probably without having to do anything other than my usual routine, so it's all good!

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  9. #17
    Batya33
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    Quote Originally Posted by katrina1980 [Register to see the link]
    First off, congrats on your weight loss!

    My mom was a former model and obsessed with weight which wasn't a healthy environment for me to grow up in, but I managed to work my way through it and now, even tho I am still quite thin (5'6" approx. - 115 pounds), I am healthy, I exercise, feel good! For the most part.

    I don't really watch "what" I eat, I eat what I want, my attitude is more "everything in moderation."

    Last night for example, on my way home I bought myself a slice of Tres Leches cake, which will take me about four days to consume (a quarter of it each night).

    As opposed to the entire slice in one sitting, which being that the portion sizes are huge, I could never imagine doing, although I am sure many people would have no problem doing!

    I mentioned wearing the low-mid rise skinnys (tongue-n-cheek) only to explain why I don't need a scale.

    Today I put them on and I KNOW I've gained cause they feel tighter than usual, but it's okay, I'm not down about it... I know I will lose it in a couple of days, probably without having to do anything other than my usual routine, so it's all good!
    I do the same thing with portion control and eating everything but I have good genetics on my side. By contrast, we had lunch with our cousin the other day. She has struggled with weight the 20 plus years I've known her. For a long time she was on Weight Watchers and did great. I think when she got married -in her 30s -she let herself go as in "got my man, who cares now". She's never been pregnant so it's not that. We went to brunch and she ordered one of those huge french toast dishes -this one soaked in chocolate and bourbon -and she ate the entire plate -the manager came over and said (rude!) that he'd never seen anyone finish it. Later, she had ice cream. I am not writing this to be judgy but because it's obvious she is not in tune with her body -she is a short person and that huge intake of sugar and fat just can't be good and I am certain it's not about satisfying natural hunger. I feel sad for her -she was even a Weight Watchers rep for awhile. Not because she's heavy but because of her letting herself go and her health risks if she eats like this in any regular way. And no I would never ever say anything to her. If she asked me, sure. But, she didn't.

    I do think genetics plays a role -for me it was being in tune with my body and what it needs -both to satiate hunger and also what kind of food (protein/sweet/fat, combo). If I eat sweets when I'm really hungry it's a disaster, especially mood-wise. But when I dieted (not because I was heavy) I quickly became out of touch with my real hunger and simply felt deprived and rebelled.

    Good for you, NAL, for recognizing what you need and what your body needs - you don't need a scale to know how to take care of yourself. Others might but this will be part of a great perspective that will bleed over into other ways of taking care of yourself.

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