Moving In Together -Advice

I've been dating my boyfriend what will be 2 years in March, and we've decided to move in together when my lease is up in April. I'm excited, but I'm also really nervous. I lived with family until about 3 years ago, and I've been on my own the last several years which has been lovely. This is my first time that I'll be living with non family other than friends who temporarily couch surfed and boyfriends of my mother.

Our plan is to get a 3 bedroom with an open kitchen and a yard. He'll take the master bedroom which will need to have enough room for a king sized bed and a computer desk. I'll take the other two rooms. One will have my bed and clothes and the other will have my collection of board games and books and a love seat with a tv and video game hook ups. We'll split all major bills directly down the middle, and I'm actually not too worried about chores and such cause I know he'll pull his weight. We've talked about furniture we'll need, temperature, and lawn maintenance. Also, he wants to get a dog(Corgi) and I have 2 cats. The dog will be his responsibility though I'll help of course and the cats are mine.

But here's the questions:

1. How should we handle things like groceries and household stuff? Split it down the middle? Each get what we want? Have money in a jar for stuff like toilet paper and cleaning supplies and do one of the two for food?

2.Are there any potential issues we should talk about before April that I'm not aware of?

This is new territory for me, and despite our many differences I think we will be happy living together(or I wouldn't do it), and I love him.

What me and my husband do is we both have seperate bank accounts, then we have a joint account where we both agreed how much we'd each put in a month based on our incomes. So he earns more so he puts in more. Then all the bills/groceries go out of that joint account and whatever is left in our accounts after paying into the joint is our own.

My girlfriend and I trade off for groceries and household supplies. I eat a lot more than she does, but she prefers more expensive stuff for herself than I do. I'll eat bulk candy as a snack while she eats Kind bars and Kashi snacks. I'll eat generic frozen pizza while she likes CPK pizzas. It ends up a wash. And even if it didn't, I don't think the discrepancy would be enough for either of us to be bothered.

I'm all for 50/50, particularly for the big bills, but trying to get it down to the penny on everything will be a headache. If you're both responsible, contributing adults, you'll both be doing your best to keep things equitable.

Big thing I'd advise is to not split individual furniture / appliance expenses. Keep the contribution equitable, but buy a piece each. Prevents a lot of headache should you two split. Whoever bought the piece keeps it.

Talk about whose names are on the lease and how long the lease is. Talk about whose names are on the heat, electric, cable etc. All that affects credit. Split joint costs like rent, utilities, etc. Never co-purchase items like furniture,etc.. Keep receipts for everything. 2 bathrooms make for much happier couples.

Pay all your own personal costs, phones, cars etc. Either take turns buying food etc. or split that. Make sure you have a budget and stick to it, don't lend or borrow money from each other.

Have a sit down talk about guests, friends, chores, pets care, etc. don't assume or guess about that. Also talk about what if things don't work out. Who keeps the place? Who pays for what, etc. have the tough convos before you move in, not when there is a fight and one decides to leave.

We'll split all major bills directly down the middle, and I'm actually not too worried about chores and such cause I know he'll pull his weight. 1. How should we handle things like groceries and household stuff?

Also, an alternative to a joint bank account could be a rechargeable Visa card that you each put money into every month or as needed. Probably best to avoid shared accounts like that until you're at least engaged, ideally married.

Just make sure his name is on the lease with yours.

I would not do a joint bank account with someone you are not married to or anything joint where if you split up you will be solely responsible.

Our joint bank account is purely put money into it, direct debits come out. We put a set amount in each month that covers the bills and groceries only. No extra. We have no overdraft facilities on it and you can't take out any loans/credits cards etc without both parties agreeing. We had it even before we got married as we lived together for 2 years first.

I get what you are saying, as it can be dangerous, but there are way to take measures to make it safe.

Although I have just looked into it and it says it can affect your credit score...so there is that to consider.

I would say something to discuss is personal time, together time and date time.

I found once living together it's so easy to get into a routine. My SO and I both prefer lots of alone time, we are comfortable doing our own things. But he makes an effort when he gets home to sit down with me and chat, visit and all before he goes and plays games which I really appreciate.

And don't forget dates lol! Again it's sooo easy to be like "let's go out tonight!" And then you're both in your PJs, comfortable and decide just to keep on relaxing at home. It's not bad, but romantically it's nice to go out and keep that spark.

Be prepared for some behaviour that will drive you mad (ex. me: leaves cupboards open, him: leaves lights on) and how to communicate effectively.

Compromise, some fights just aren't worth it. My level of what's "clean" is much higher than my SOs so instead of nagging him to do it or getting upset because it's not done "right", it's easier just to get it done myself.

Other than that kudos to you, you guys have discussed this and seem to be facing everything very maturely and realistically.

What's with the separate bedrooms?

Sounds more like moving in together out of convenience rather than committment. Although personally I don't believe moving in is a committment. Flatmates come and go.

Whose idea was it to have seperate rooms?

We keep track of expenses and have a sit-down once a week or once a month to square up. We split shared expenses 50/50, but since he does a lot of the shopping for both of us, I usually owe him money at the end of the month. I make up for this by paying a larger portion of the rent for the month. I really like the system we have. It gives us a chance to talk to each other and plan.

We each have our own money seperate and I pay household bills ( he sends me his half every month of all bills and rent through an e- transfer). It's easy this way for us. For groceries, gas when we travel together, food out, things of that nature we take turns mostly. It's not an exact split but as mentioned, we both try to keep it equitable and it hasn't ever been a problem. Like jman, I eat more ( and eat meat, which is expensive, which he doesn't) but he likes to buy more premium products ( except I insist on premium toilet paper lol). It works out.

Something to consider too is common law situation where you live. Does it apply? Do you need to come to an agreement or not regarding that? Easier as soon as you plan to move in than later on. We actually sat down and formalized an agreement which has legal standing.

And taxes.. how will it impact how you do your taxes? Yeah, we talked about that.

Decide how household labour will be divided. I hear so many women complain they feel they end up expected to do the bulk of household chores. I don't have that problem - he does more cleaning than me. I do more household repairs, baking, running around chores. It doesn't matter how you divide it so long as it's clear, seems fair to both of you, etc.

Congrats, by the way.😀

What's with the separate bedrooms?

Sounds more like moving in together out of convenience rather than committment. Although personally I don't believe moving in is a committment. Flatmates come and go.

 

Whose idea was it to have seperate rooms?

Kind of a mutual idea I suppose. My boyfriend has a really bad sleeping disorder which means he goes to bed at like 8 pm with medication and any little thing will disturb his rest and he has to get up at 6 for work. I go to bed at 11:30 pm and wake up at 7 am. Add to that he's extremely introverted and needs his own space and we're both very independent. So ya for us it made sense. It'll be nice eating together before I go out and do things and he does his thing, and we can hang out and watch anime or play games on weekends and some weekdays. We're not gonna just be existing in the same space and not spending time together lol. Just not going to share a bed at night.

Thank you all. Some good advice and things to think about. I took some notes on things to look up later and anything else ya'll think of is helpful. The more I consider things before the better

Keep in mind that you don't have to have every interest in common. Especially if either or both of you have rather eclectic tastes.

Was this intended to be platonic? Why do you have separate bed/bedrooms?

I've been dating my boyfriend what will be 2 years. He'll take the master bedroom which will need to have enough room for a king sized bed and a computer desk. I'll take the other two rooms. One will have my bed and clothes and the other will have my collection of board games and books and a love seat with a tv and video game hook ups.I'm actually not too worried about chores and such cause I know he'll pull his weight.

What are your plans for the future? have you talked about marriage/kids down the line? Or is this suggested by him so he can have someone to split bills with? I would caution you and suggest to get a female roomie first.

and no -- no joint account. you pay each half of the rent and decide what you are going to do as far as the rest of the bills

You just had a thread seeking advice because your BF irritates you, and now you're

going to live together? Sharing space is gonna be a challenge for you!

You just had a thread seeking advice because your BF irritates you, and now you're

going to live together? Sharing space is gonna be a challenge for you!

This thread is almost a year old

This thread is almost a year old

Lol, who revived it?? My apologies hahahahahaha :)

Lol, who revived it?? My apologies hahahahahaha :)

Wiseman did haha I don’t know how it happened

Maybe that's the key...Living with him has brought out all the irritations.

You just had a thread seeking advice because your BF irritates you. Sharing space is gonna be a challenge for you!

Maybe that's the key...Living with him has brought out all the irritations.

Lol, truth! You never truly know someone until you live with them! :)