I have a sexual arousal problem with this woman.

I wasn't sure if this was the right forum to post this in. Basically I started seeing this girl I really like, and she is a lot of fun. I really like her a lot actually but going to be not let myself fall too much, too soon or anything, and don't want to get my hopes up too much.

However, there was a sexual problem, and I couldn't get an erection with her.

I think the problem is, is that I am use to being sexually attracted to women who are naughty and bad girl-ish, in the past. But this new girl has all sorts of better qualities that I like, and I feel that my penis is being shallow, and needs some sense slapped into it.

So what if she is not a naughty bad girl... She's awesome in other ways, and that is more important and more mature in being serious relationship material. So how can I get my penis to not be shallow about this, or does anyone have any advice?

Thanks for any input. I really appreciate it.

Sorry but the guy has a mind of his own when it comes to what turns him on.

Perhaps it's just nerves from the newness or booze or whatever. Slow things down focus on non sexual affection to relax and perhaps warm up to the situation without any performance pressure.

Viagra.....

Viagra.....

*makes her way to the midlands

op it might be that you have to accept that the penis wants what the penis wants ...!! I have had amazing connections with men before now ..but sexually it wasn't there .

I am not saying give up here and now ...but ..you have to consider that sadly this may not be a match .

How many times has this happened?

Were you tired? Boozed up? Do you fancy her?

Chill out and try not to worry about it too much and relax. If you have "conjured up the magic" before then you do not have a physical problem.

What aspects of "naughty" and "bad girl-ish" does this girl not possess? What does that mean, to you?

What aspects of "naughty" and "bad girl-ish" does this girl not possess?

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Tell her she's awesome, but you would like her to be more naughty. She might get into it if she knows what you like.

Yeah it's happened quite often in the past actually and went to the doctor about it. The doctor said the penis just wants what it wants, and I should just go with that. But I feel that my penis is shallow, and that is the problem I have. I really like this girl, and she is awesome, yet having problems with getting aroused.

But then this other girl I know, was dressed all naughty girl-ish, and she came up to me and said she wanted to "f#$@ me hard". I instantly got rock hard aroused. But this woman I know are not a match at all relationship wise. So why is it that penis is responding to her, but not the better match. The penis wants something that my brain and my heart doesn't want, and I feel like the heart and the penis should want the same thing, but the heart said stick with the other girl.

Straight up arousal doesn't get filtered through the "gf material checklist".

she came up to me and said she wanted to "f#$@ me hard". I instantly got rock hard aroused. The penis wants something that my brain and my heart doesn't want

That's true, but the girl I am dating now is a lot of fun to be around, and feel very romantic with her. Can't fun and romantic be enough to get aroused, at least if the penis isn't shallow? How do I give my penis depth, so to speak?

Tell her she's awesome, but you would like her to be more naughty. She might get into it if she knows what you like.

^^^^ what have you got to lose ...give this a go ..unleash the minx in her ( or give her my details and within an hour I will have her pinning you to the wall , slapping your @rse and calling you Gloria .

That's true, but the girl I am dating now is a lot of fun to be around, and feel very romantic with her. Can't fun and romantic be enough to get aroused, at least if the penis isn't shallow? How do I give my penis depth, so to speak?

romantic and naughty can go together ... infact ...it takes whole lot of trust and dedication to unleash certain stuff ..

I have thought more about your penis tonight then I think is acceptable

Your username is ironic ....just saying

Actually the penis wants exactly what the mind wants, it's just that the superego represses some desires so you're not conscious of them.

The fantasy of "giving it" to a "bad" woman is quite common and extensively dealth with by psychologists and psychoanalysts. It is often accompanied by a penchant for ejaculating on chosen parts of female's body in postures or ways that imply her subjugation to punishment. Notably different than the concept some males have of the ejaculate as a "gift". So you may address your problem by drugging your penis or by flexing your mind. Either should work.

"giving it" as a punishment dealt out for badness is projected hatred for a primary object who has not been gratifying in some way. It is frequently reenacted with other objects. The gratifying object doesn't elicit a libidinal response because your ejaculation is linked in your mind with aggression as punishment for the bad object only. It is resolved by resolving the schizoid splitting of primary figures into bad and good.

I am going to run now. It is rarely wise to analyze a man's penis out loud.

Yeah I mean I could try to the whole unleash the bad girl within her thing. I have tried that before with women in the past, but if I do that, if feels like they are putting on an act, rather than being an actual, natural one to begin with.

Yeah I mean I could try to the whole unleash the bad girl within her thing. I have tried that before with women in the past, but if I do that, if feels like they are putting on an act, rather than being an actual, natural one to begin with.

I agree with you on that ... I like taking things into the darkness lol , but if I had to tell a man what to do each step of the way it would defeat the object of me being a sub .. but maybe you can ease a bit out and she might be on the same page !!

"In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna–hoar complex is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship. First identified by Sigmund Freud, under the rubric of psychic impotence, this psychological complex is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitutes. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (the hoar) while they cannot desire the respected partner (the Madonna). Freud wrote: "Where such men love they have no desire and where they desire they cannot love." Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann, writing in 2009, stated that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients"."

Actually the penis wants exactly what the mind wants, it's just that the superego represses some desires so you're not conscious of them.

 

The fantasy of "giving it" to a "bad" woman is quite common and extensively dealth with by psychologists and psychoanalysts. So you may address your problem by drugging ypur penis or by flexing your mind. Either should work.

 

"giving it" as a punishment dealt out for badness is projected hatred for a promary object who has not been gratifying in some way. It is frequently reenacted with other objects. The gratifying object doesn't elicit a libidinal response because your ejaculation is linked in your mind with aggression as punishment for the bad object only. It is resolved by resolving the schizoid splitting of primary figures into bad and good.

 

I am going to run now. It is rarely wise to analyze a man's penis out loud.

rainy that ^^^ is fabulous ......ahhhh

rainy that ^^^ is fabulous ......ahhhh

 

i am waiting for the first person who is going to say "you must be fun in bed".

 

i have ruined it for myself on more than one occasion lol.

i am waiting for the first person who is going to say "you must be fun in bed".

 

i have ruined it for myself on more than one occasion lol.

hahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHA spat me marley at the screen then oh lollin

no don't spit the marley! pick it up and make cannabutter!

no don't spit the marley! pick it up and make cannabutter!

That sounds like a best seller ...

sorry op ..we always lead things off the beaten track with our wisdom and shining charisma ...I am still thinking about your penis .

i have ruined it for myself on more than one occasion

i don't know how to upload it Wiseman2 style.

not to derail though, are you any closer to a solution OP?

How many times have you had sex with her? She might be very naughty once she feels comfortable. The old saying it's the quiet ones. Hay things are new therefore you can introduce whatever you want to and see if it flies.