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Thread: Issues with Mother

  1. #1
    E98
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    Issues with Mother

    Hey, haven't posted here in a while but this is really the only place I thought of to ask for some advice.

    A little information here. Its just my mom and I living together. I'm 18, I do extremely well in school, I have a job, I help around the house, do whatever she asks me to do, I don't do any drugs, smoke, drink, sneak out, or anything I'm not supposed to be doing or anything she, or my family, wouldn't want to hear about. I'm not a perfect kid though, but I don't do really anything that would spark this kind of attitude in her.

    Well with that out of the way, I'm not too sure how to explain this so if it comes off at me sounding rude or whatever, I apologize. But anyway, I'll just get right into the details. Pretty much every single day, the first moment I see her, she has an attitude. I'll walk in the door after school or she'll come home from work in the morning (she works night shift as a nurse) and she'll just start yelling at me or if not the yelling, she'll just have a blatant attitude, whether I cause it or not, I take all the heat and backlash. It's not even when I first see her all the time either. It'll just be random times in the day. Like we'll have a perfectly fine day, no arguments or anything, and then out of nowhere, I might just say something random or ask a question and she'll just lash out on me like I've done something terrible. I seriously don't know what to do. This has led to many many arguments and lots of tension between us, so much to the point where I'm afraid to say something to her or I just purposefully will hold myself back from talking to her unless she says something to me first. It's gotten to the point where it's affecting me at work and school and I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to do anything with or around her because I know it will somehow end in an argument for some dumb reason. Please don't even suggest spending more time with her because that only worsens the situation.


    I'll give an example of how all of this will go:

    She'll come home from work in the morning around 7am and I'll just be laying in the bed or doing whatever and she'll find something to yell at me about I won't yell back or say anything because it's honestly not worth it, but I'll just keep it all in and take the yelling, then no more than 15-20 later, she'll act like nothing happened. Then the same exact thing throughout the day. Off and on for no reason. I have noticed that every time she comes home from work she has some kind of an attitude, probably because she works in the neuroscience unit and it's very stressful, but I don't understand why she takes her anger out on me.

    Another example is I'll come home from school and right when I see her I can sense if she has an attitude so I'll say hey and walk on to my room and get settled. Again, shell find some petty reason to yell at me (like not picking up a tiny piece of paper off the floor or something) and treat it like I've done something horrible. And if I decide to argue back, she just brings up everything that I've done wrong in the past or blame me for making her broke because I broke my leg over the summer and there's lots of medical bills (this has been going on since way before that happened so this couldn't be an issue. At least not an issue that triggered this kind of behavior).

    I've talked many times with my grandpa and he said he had the same issue with his mother and it ultimately drove him to join the military just to get away from her. He also said my grandma had a similar issue and, I'm not sure about this so don't quote me, he said a doctor gave her a hormone pill or something and it fixed her up. Not a medical expert but that's just what he told me.

    I just need some advice. I'm going to college soon so I won't be able to move out on my own, my mom said she'll cut me off if I move in with my grandparents (we've talked about it before), but I just cannot deal with the stress here anymore, especially not while I'm in college. And i forgot to mention if anyone points out any of her wrongdoings she treats them like they're the worst person alive. My grandpa tried to tell her once how lucky she was that I'm in the position I am (with my dad leaving and all when I was such a young child and the situation that came from that. Long story but it was bad) and she started to yell at him and said we were never going to see him again and all that. Well, my grandpa fought in Vietnam, was raised by a hard ass father, in the south where people don't put up with any bull (excuse my language) from anyone, not even their own family, so he pretty much yelled back and now she's had grudge against them ever since. He didn't curse or anything at her, just yelled and told her she shouldn't be saying that stuff blah blah blah.

    But yeah, if anyone has ANY advice like what can I do about this or what you think is going on with her (something is definitely wrong because this is not normal behavior and not normal for her except these past 2 or so years). Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Wiseman2
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    She sounds very angry and takes it out on you in an abusive way. Perhaps you should live elsewhere while at college. Look into student housing, financial aid, etc. Why is she threatening to "cut you off"? It sounds like she needs you as her whipping boy. But that is so wrong on so many levels. You may want to talk to a school counselor or another trusted adult about all this.

  3. #3
    abitbroken
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    She may have a very stressful job, so she's a bit snappy at home. Also, consider that my mother and I butted heads a lot when i was 17-22, until i moved out. A few years later I had a decent, adult to adult relationship with my mom, but it takes moving out and coming into your own. There can be tension in the air at this age that has nothing to do specifically with you being a "bad kid." Also, do you contribute (your job money alleviates her having to pay for gas, car insurance for you, etc.) Also, do you ever have a meal cooked for mom when she comes home from work or do you ever do things without her asking you to do it? (ie, you automatically make your bed, do a quick scan to make sure no one dropped something on the floor, put the laundry in the hamper if you walk past the bathroom and see it flowing out?)

    BTW, is Grandma alive? If she is, maybe you can Grandpa if she thinks Grandma would talk about it with you. Maybe it would be good for you to check things out with yourself as well so you can avoid that later if it is something with mood.
    Maybe its something Grandma would mention - but you have to be really careful talking to people and telling them they have a hormone problem. Because maybe mom doesn't and is just overwhelmed, especially if she is doing everything herself. It may be something that will change in time

  4. #4
    E98
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    Quote Originally Posted by abitbroken [Register to see the link]
    She may have a very stressful job, so she's a bit snappy at home. Also, consider that my mother and I butted heads a lot when i was 17-22, until i moved out. A few years later I had a decent, adult to adult relationship with my mom, but it takes moving out and coming into your own. There can be tension in the air at this age that has nothing to do specifically with you being a "bad kid." Also, do you contribute (your job money alleviates her having to pay for gas, car insurance for you, etc.) Also, do you ever have a meal cooked for mom when she comes home from work or do you ever do things without her asking you to do it? (ie, you automatically make your bed, do a quick scan to make sure no one dropped something on the floor, put the laundry in the hamper if you walk past the bathroom and see it flowing out?)

    BTW, is Grandma alive? If she is, maybe you can Grandpa if she thinks Grandma would talk about it with you. Maybe it would be good for you to check things out with yourself as well so you can avoid that later if it is something with mood.
    Maybe its something Grandma would mention - but you have to be really careful talking to people and telling them they have a hormone problem. Because maybe mom doesn't and is just overwhelmed, especially if she is doing everything herself. It may be something that will change in time
    I understand there's always going to be that teenager parents type relationship. This is just not normal though. She was never like this 1 1/2 - 2 years ago, which is way after she started as a nurse too. I've talked with my grandparents about it and that's all they've told me about their parents and that situation. I do contribute. I help pay for things like dinner, occasionally, I lend her money all the time, pay for my car, including gas and repairs, and I offer to pay for much more for her but she always declines. I just really don't think this is normal behavior, considering the things that start the arguments are literally so minuscule it doesn't make sense. Yeah we have normal arguments that are actually for a reason that makes sense from time to time but those are rare compared to these.

    I wouldn't want anyone to mention the hormone thing to her. She'd just become outraged and then I'd get all the backlash from it. I just can't see anything changing in time. It's been so long and nothing has changed. I constantly get called a "trouble maker" or that I 'meddle" when I talk to my grandparents about the situation and compared to the things kids my age are doing, I'd say I'm a good kid and that's one thing she does that really angers me. Even her brother has said she can't be saying stuff like that because it's not fair to say things like that, but she continues. Seriously just don't know what to do in this situation. Everybody I've talked to about it has said obviously somethings wrong or that she's taking all her stress out on me since I'm an easy target because if I say anything back I get in trouble for having an attitude.

    Sorry for ranting I just need to get it off my chest.

  5. #5
    E98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseman2 [Register to see the link]
    She sounds very angry and takes it out on you in an abusive way. Perhaps you should live elsewhere while at college. Look into student housing, financial aid, etc. Why is she threatening to "cut you off"? It sounds like she needs you as her whipping boy. But that is so wrong on so many levels. You may want to talk to a school counselor or another trusted adult about all this.
    I won't be able to live in student housing since I'm going to community college first to save some money. I wouldn't trust talking to my counselor, only family. I usually talk to my grandpa after we have these petty arguments and that makes me feel better in the moment, but not in the long term. I'm always on edge that I might do something wrong or trigger her somehow which really stresses me out and upsets me because I really hate being in my own home when she's here. I'm just not sure what other option I have if I want to get away from it, other than to move in with my grandparents. I wouldn't expect them to help me pay for anything, although they probably would, but working a little extra to earn more money to help pay for things myself might be worth it, honestly. I don't want to ruin the relationship with my mom because that's what happened to my grandpa (he didn't talk to his mother literally until the day she died), but I feel like I need to worry about myself and my well-being.

  6. #6
    qwaspolk82
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    Quote Originally Posted by E98 [Register to see the link]
    Hey, haven't posted here in a while but this is really the only place I thought of to ask for some advice.

    A little information here. Its just my mom and I living together. I'm 18, I do extremely well in school, I have a job, I help around the house, do whatever she asks me to do, I don't do any drugs, smoke, drink, sneak out, or anything I'm not supposed to be doing or anything she, or my family, wouldn't want to hear about. I'm not a perfect kid though, but I don't do really anything that would spark this kind of attitude in her.

    Well with that out of the way, I'm not too sure how to explain this so if it comes off at me sounding rude or whatever, I apologize. But anyway, I'll just get right into the details. Pretty much every single day, the first moment I see her, she has an attitude. I'll walk in the door after school or she'll come home from work in the morning (she works night shift as a nurse) and she'll just start yelling at me or if not the yelling, she'll just have a blatant attitude, whether I cause it or not, I take all the heat and backlash. It's not even when I first see her all the time either. It'll just be random times in the day. Like we'll have a perfectly fine day, no arguments or anything, and then out of nowhere, I might just say something random or ask a question and she'll just lash out on me like I've done something terrible. I seriously don't know what to do. This has led to many many arguments and lots of tension between us, so much to the point where I'm afraid to say something to her or I just purposefully will hold myself back from talking to her unless she says something to me first. It's gotten to the point where it's affecting me at work and school and I'm just not sure what to do. I don't want to do anything with or around her because I know it will somehow end in an argument for some dumb reason. Please don't even suggest spending more time with her because that only worsens the situation.


    I'll give an example of how all of this will go:

    She'll come home from work in the morning around 7am and I'll just be laying in the bed or doing whatever and she'll find something to yell at me about I won't yell back or say anything because it's honestly not worth it, but I'll just keep it all in and take the yelling, then no more than 15-20 later, she'll act like nothing happened. Then the same exact thing throughout the day. Off and on for no reason. I have noticed that every time she comes home from work she has some kind of an attitude, probably because she works in the neuroscience unit and it's very stressful, but I don't understand why she takes her anger out on me.

    Another example is I'll come home from school and right when I see her I can sense if she has an attitude so I'll say hey and walk on to my room and get settled. Again, shell find some petty reason to yell at me (like not picking up a tiny piece of paper off the floor or something) and treat it like I've done something horrible. And if I decide to argue back, she just brings up everything that I've done wrong in the past or blame me for making her broke because I broke my leg over the summer and there's lots of medical bills (this has been going on since way before that happened so this couldn't be an issue. At least not an issue that triggered this kind of behavior).

    I've talked many times with my grandpa and he said he had the same issue with his mother and it ultimately drove him to join the military just to get away from her. He also said my grandma had a similar issue and, I'm not sure about this so don't quote me, he said a doctor gave her a hormone pill or something and it fixed her up. Not a medical expert but that's just what he told me.

    I just need some advice. I'm going to college soon so I won't be able to move out on my own, my mom said she'll cut me off if I move in with my grandparents (we've talked about it before), but I just cannot deal with the stress here anymore, especially not while I'm in college. And i forgot to mention if anyone points out any of her wrongdoings she treats them like they're the worst person alive. My grandpa tried to tell her once how lucky she was that I'm in the position I am (with my dad leaving and all when I was such a young child and the situation that came from that. Long story but it was bad) and she started to yell at him and said we were never going to see him again and all that. Well, my grandpa fought in Vietnam, was raised by a hard ass father, in the south where people don't put up with any bull (excuse my language) from anyone, not even their own family, so he pretty much yelled back and now she's had grudge against them ever since. He didn't curse or anything at her, just yelled and told her she shouldn't be saying that stuff blah blah blah.

    But yeah, if anyone has ANY advice like what can I do about this or what you think is going on with her (something is definitely wrong because this is not normal behavior and not normal for her except these past 2 or so years). Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.
    Sounds like how our mom was when I was younger. And I remember one time when we were all younger that we noticed our mom was acting "normal." Like a mom. She wasn't constantly yelling at us like she usually did. So we told our dad "Why is mom acting normal? She's like a mom now." He said that was whens he was on some type of pills - hormones I think. He told her what we said and she stopped taking them.

    Now with our mom - she had an affair most of our lives and was gone on every other weekend she had off. When my youngest brother was 12 years old we found out he was biologically not our dads. But our dad raised him. She married the guy she had an affair. My dad is remarried now too.

    But I cannot remember much of my childhood where my mom was not yelling at us. I watch home videos before I was six (she started the affair when I was five) and she's a pretty normal mom. I don't remember that version. She constantly told us "you're worthless" "you kids can't do anything right" "why is this house always a mess" and so on. When I was six I cried about getting a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger at McD's. She said "Stop being a little ." My dad ripped into her on that one. She called me a when I was about 13 too. I basically never had a mom but when she was home sounds just like your mom. We had to tiptoe around her. When she was home, she was up in her room away from us. Or she went out with friends. One time she took a trip to Disneyland with her friends. I asked if I could come - I was 10. She said "Yeah if you pay for your own ticket." Yeah with my paper route money? What? She brought us back Tshirts...

    I knew something was up about two weeks before she finally moved out. I was 18. Two weeks before college started. She came home and said "You wanna go shopping?" I said why? She never did anything with me and I'm the only girl. She said I want to spend some time with you. I went. I was very leery like wth is going on? Two weeks later I came home and she had left my dad a note. I read it. It was crap. He came home, read it told me what it said. I said yeah I know. Then I said "can we get a cat now?" (She's allergic to cats so we couldn't get one after the last one we had died). He thought it was sad that's my first question after she left but he understood. She took my brother with too. We didn't get to say bye to him. Got every other weekend with him for awhile - well he was at my dad's.

    Then suddenly she wanted to do anything for us. So we all started hitting her up for money because we figured she owed us. But then I didn't talk to her for three years after about 2009. I was on R&R from Iraq. When I had to go back, my dad made me email her and ask if she wanted to have dinner with us before I left since I flew out in the town she works. Her response: "Well it's pretty icy out and I can't leave (her husband) home alone that wouldn't be right." I was like really? Her only daughter going back to Iraq and she chooses her husband yet again. So I told her that and then she didn't email me in Iraq. She didn't call me on block leave when I got home. She didn't do anything so by my next birthday I wrote her an 8 page letter and unloaded on her. She answered like a year later but not through me. She showed my youngest brother. Who told our oldest that he was upset by what I said. So I talked to him and he said I was so "hateful." I said well you got a different mom than we did. She was there for you. Not us. SO I messaged her and said stop pulling him in the middle. She told me I'm a "self centered brat" and I am just like my paternal grandma (she died when I was 13 they hated each other). I said well that's a compliment she was a good woman.

    Then a few years later I thought I was deploying again so I went to clear the air and again she was putting him before me having to "make his lunch" and crap. I talked to her and told her that and she starts crying right away. But we've been working on it since then. I think she realizes she screwed up and how she treated us was wrong. She realizes her husband is a douche but she won't admit it.

    One time I talked to a chaplain about this getting a letter for something else and he asked me "Has she ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder?" I said not that I know of. So that might be what your mom has. Some kind of personality disorder r imbalance. It's odd you say your grandpa joined the military tog et away from his daughter - my oldest brother joined the Army at 19 to get away from our mom. (I did it for college repayment and just stayed). But my grandpa (her dad) said that my grandma (her mother who died before I was born) said to him "I'm glad you can deal with her because I can't." I guess she's always been the way she is. Her brothers and sister are all normal so I don't know what happened to her. She's the oldest. But she's always done what she wants and been complicated I guess. And my dad said he knows she only married him because she just wanted to get married. Her sister had just got married and they apparently competed against each other. My dad asked so she said yes. He loved her. I don't know if she did him. She just wanted attention on her. Probably why we're all like 2 1/2 years apart except the youngest. My dad is a good man. He worked two jobs taking care of us. He fixed her cars for her even while she had affair. He went and got her in a snowstorm one time her and my brother because moron wouldn't. He's not perfect by any means but he's a very decent, hard working man. She traded down on that.

    So I've been there. I wish I knew what exactly was wrong with her because I hope it's not genetic. It's just odd no one else in her family acts like her. Funny thing - my ex husband sometimes reminded me of her how he would talk to me or act. She never got physical with us like he did me but emotionally she abused the hell out of us. One time - she came home and we all had cleaned the house top to bottom. She walks in, walks to the middle of the floor and picks up some invisible speck and says "what's this? You call this clean?" We're like what the hell is this crazy woman talking about?

    Like I said we get along now. My daughter has never and will never meet her husband and she's fine with it. My youngest brother keeps trying to get her to come visit. Her husband is the reason she didn't visit our grandpa before he died last year. I guess he's still an abusive more emotional than physical. I understand it's her choice it's just sad to see someone live that way. But yeah she was just like your mom back in the day.

    I think you should tell her how you feel about this and not let it build up for 20+ years like I did. If she won't listen that's fine. You did what you could. If she isn't willing to change then you go move in with your grandparents and you figure out how to get on without her. You're an adult. You don't need her to take care of you anymore. Maybe someday she'll wake up and apologize. Maybe not. But you can't rationalize with irrational people. You just can't.

  7. #7
    qwaspolk82
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    Quote Originally Posted by E98 [Register to see the link]
    I understand there's always going to be that teenager parents type relationship. This is just not normal though. She was never like this 1 1/2 - 2 years ago, which is way after she started as a nurse too. I've talked with my grandparents about it and that's all they've told me about their parents and that situation. I do contribute. I help pay for things like dinner, occasionally, I lend her money all the time, pay for my car, including gas and repairs, and I offer to pay for much more for her but she always declines. I just really don't think this is normal behavior, considering the things that start the arguments are literally so minuscule it doesn't make sense. Yeah we have normal arguments that are actually for a reason that makes sense from time to time but those are rare compared to these.

    I wouldn't want anyone to mention the hormone thing to her. She'd just become outraged and then I'd get all the backlash from it. I just can't see anything changing in time. It's been so long and nothing has changed. I constantly get called a "trouble maker" or that I 'meddle" when I talk to my grandparents about the situation and compared to the things kids my age are doing, I'd say I'm a good kid and that's one thing she does that really angers me. Even her brother has said she can't be saying stuff like that because it's not fair to say things like that, but she continues. Seriously just don't know what to do in this situation. Everybody I've talked to about it has said obviously somethings wrong or that she's taking all her stress out on me since I'm an easy target because if I say anything back I get in trouble for having an attitude.

    Sorry for ranting I just need to get it off my chest.
    No you're right it's not normal and it's a slippery slope bringing up the hormone thing. We found that out as I stated in my other post. No one, including your parents, has any right to treat you like crap.

  8. #8
    E98
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    Quote Originally Posted by qwaspolk82 [Register to see the link]
    Sounds like how our mom was when I was younger. And I remember one time when we were all younger that we noticed our mom was acting "normal." Like a mom. She wasn't constantly yelling at us like she usually did. So we told our dad "Why is mom acting normal? She's like a mom now." He said that was whens he was on some type of pills - hormones I think. He told her what we said and she stopped taking them.

    Now with our mom - she had an affair most of our lives and was gone on every other weekend she had off. When my youngest brother was 12 years old we found out he was biologically not our dads. But our dad raised him. She married the guy she had an affair. My dad is remarried now too.

    But I cannot remember much of my childhood where my mom was not yelling at us. I watch home videos before I was six (she started the affair when I was five) and she's a pretty normal mom. I don't remember that version. She constantly told us "you're worthless" "you kids can't do anything right" "why is this house always a mess" and so on. When I was six I cried about getting a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger at McD's. She said "Stop being a little ." My dad ripped into her on that one. She called me a when I was about 13 too. I basically never had a mom but when she was home sounds just like your mom. We had to tiptoe around her. When she was home, she was up in her room away from us. Or she went out with friends. One time she took a trip to Disneyland with her friends. I asked if I could come - I was 10. She said "Yeah if you pay for your own ticket." Yeah with my paper route money? What? She brought us back Tshirts...

    I knew something was up about two weeks before she finally moved out. I was 18. Two weeks before college started. She came home and said "You wanna go shopping?" I said why? She never did anything with me and I'm the only girl. She said I want to spend some time with you. I went. I was very leery like wth is going on? Two weeks later I came home and she had left my dad a note. I read it. It was crap. He came home, read it told me what it said. I said yeah I know. Then I said "can we get a cat now?" (She's allergic to cats so we couldn't get one after the last one we had died). He thought it was sad that's my first question after she left but he understood. She took my brother with too. We didn't get to say bye to him. Got every other weekend with him for awhile - well he was at my dad's.

    Then suddenly she wanted to do anything for us. So we all started hitting her up for money because we figured she owed us. But then I didn't talk to her for three years after about 2009. I was on R&R from Iraq. When I had to go back, my dad made me email her and ask if she wanted to have dinner with us before I left since I flew out in the town she works. Her response: "Well it's pretty icy out and I can't leave (her husband) home alone that wouldn't be right." I was like really? Her only daughter going back to Iraq and she chooses her husband yet again. So I told her that and then she didn't email me in Iraq. She didn't call me on block leave when I got home. She didn't do anything so by my next birthday I wrote her an 8 page letter and unloaded on her. She answered like a year later but not through me. She showed my youngest brother. Who told our oldest that he was upset by what I said. So I talked to him and he said I was so "hateful." I said well you got a different mom than we did. She was there for you. Not us. SO I messaged her and said stop pulling him in the middle. She told me I'm a "self centered brat" and I am just like my paternal grandma (she died when I was 13 they hated each other). I said well that's a compliment she was a good woman.

    Then a few years later I thought I was deploying again so I went to clear the air and again she was putting him before me having to "make his lunch" and crap. I talked to her and told her that and she starts crying right away. But we've been working on it since then. I think she realizes she screwed up and how she treated us was wrong. She realizes her husband is a douche but she won't admit it.

    One time I talked to a chaplain about this getting a letter for something else and he asked me "Has she ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder?" I said not that I know of. So that might be what your mom has. Some kind of personality disorder r imbalance. It's odd you say your grandpa joined the military tog et away from his daughter - my oldest brother joined the Army at 19 to get away from our mom. (I did it for college repayment and just stayed). But my grandpa (her dad) said that my grandma (her mother who died before I was born) said to him "I'm glad you can deal with her because I can't." I guess she's always been the way she is. Her brothers and sister are all normal so I don't know what happened to her. She's the oldest. But she's always done what she wants and been complicated I guess. And my dad said he knows she only married him because she just wanted to get married. Her sister had just got married and they apparently competed against each other. My dad asked so she said yes. He loved her. I don't know if she did him. She just wanted attention on her. Probably why we're all like 2 1/2 years apart except the youngest. My dad is a good man. He worked two jobs taking care of us. He fixed her cars for her even while she had affair. He went and got her in a snowstorm one time her and my brother because moron wouldn't. He's not perfect by any means but he's a very decent, hard working man. She traded down on that.

    So I've been there. I wish I knew what exactly was wrong with her because I hope it's not genetic. It's just odd no one else in her family acts like her. Funny thing - my ex husband sometimes reminded me of her how he would talk to me or act. She never got physical with us like he did me but emotionally she abused the hell out of us. One time - she came home and we all had cleaned the house top to bottom. She walks in, walks to the middle of the floor and picks up some invisible speck and says "what's this? You call this clean?" We're like what the hell is this crazy woman talking about?

    Like I said we get along now. My daughter has never and will never meet her husband and she's fine with it. My youngest brother keeps trying to get her to come visit. Her husband is the reason she didn't visit our grandpa before he died last year. I guess he's still an abusive more emotional than physical. I understand it's her choice it's just sad to see someone live that way. But yeah she was just like your mom back in the day.

    I think you should tell her how you feel about this and not let it build up for 20+ years like I did. If she won't listen that's fine. You did what you could. If she isn't willing to change then you go move in with your grandparents and you figure out how to get on without her. You're an adult. You don't need her to take care of you anymore. Maybe someday she'll wake up and apologize. Maybe not. But you can't rationalize with irrational people. You just can't.
    Damn my mom isn't that bad. She's acts normal all the time, but it's just when she gets in these moods or whatever. I have thought a personality disorder could be the issue but I'm just not sure. I have tried telling her how I've felt and all but like usual, it just ended up in an argument. Basically with her telling me I don't do anything to help (not true) or my grades are bad (also not true), ultimately leading to the point when neither of us know what the argument started about because she just jumps around subjects to try and stay ahead. At least it seems that way. I think I will probably just move in with my grandparents soon. I'm not sure how much more of the stress I can endure every day. Constantly I'm dreading coming home because I fear an argument. I try and get out and do things with family or friends to get away from her and going to work also helps but when I am around her, most of the time it's all arguing. What she does is she will start the argument, if I decide to say something back, I'm instantly blamed by her and yelled at for having an attitude or starting the argument. Then when I talk to my grandpa, she yells about how I "boohoo" to him and make her seem like the bad guy, when she does the exact same thing to her brother. Her brother has told her not to say things about me being a trouble maker and all, but she has virtually ruined my relationship with him. I don't speak to my own uncle anymore because she tells him how terrible I act and all that.

  9. #9
    qwaspolk82
    Gold Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by E98 [Register to see the link]
    Damn my mom isn't that bad. She's acts normal all the time, but it's just when she gets in these moods or whatever. I have thought a personality disorder could be the issue but I'm just not sure. I have tried telling her how I've felt and all but like usual, it just ended up in an argument. Basically with her telling me I don't do anything to help (not true) or my grades are bad (also not true), ultimately leading to the point when neither of us know what the argument started about because she just jumps around subjects to try and stay ahead. At least it seems that way. I think I will probably just move in with my grandparents soon. I'm not sure how much more of the stress I can endure every day. Constantly I'm dreading coming home because I fear an argument. I try and get out and do things with family or friends to get away from her and going to work also helps but when I am around her, most of the time it's all arguing. What she does is she will start the argument, if I decide to say something back, I'm instantly blamed by her and yelled at for having an attitude or starting the argument. Then when I talk to my grandpa, she yells about how I "boohoo" to him and make her seem like the bad guy, when she does the exact same thing to her brother. Her brother has told her not to say things about me being a trouble maker and all, but she has virtually ruined my relationship with him. I don't speak to my own uncle anymore because she tells him how terrible I act and all that.
    You gotta figure out somewhere else to stay. Go to college and don't talk to her for awhile and she will realize pretty quickly what she's done. Maybe.

    The only way you'll find out anything medically or mentally is if she chooses to get help but she doesn't sound like she will. Only a licensed professional can diagnose her. I feel like once you're gone for good she might realize some things.

    And yeah my mom - loads of issues due to her.

  10. #10
    E98
    Bronze Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by qwaspolk82 [Register to see the link]
    You gotta figure out somewhere else to stay. Go to college and don't talk to her for awhile and she will realize pretty quickly what she's done. Maybe.

    The only way you'll find out anything medically or mentally is if she chooses to get help but she doesn't sound like she will. Only a licensed professional can diagnose her. I feel like once you're gone for good she might realize some things.

    And yeah my mom - loads of issues due to her.
    My grandpa told her that pretty much exactly. That the way she was acting was going to push me away, and he's right. I just don't think she sees it yet. I'll talk with them privately about moving in and make my decision. I won't tell her about it either until the time comes.

  11.  

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